STRIPTEASE

So basically, i think i flashed my next door neighbors.

Get your minds out of the gutter. The flashing ™, if it indeed happened, was totally inadvertent. It wasn't like i wanted my neighbors to have a birds eye view of my glistening naked body as i walked about the house.

...Or did i?

I'll wrestle with my subconscious later.

So my neighbors technically don't *live* next door right? They moved about six months ago, but their house is still on the market due to the sluggish economy. They come and check on it from time to time, but for all intensive purposes(lol) their home is empty.

Now when they moved out, i'll admit i was a bit apprehensive, thinking an empty home might beckon criminal activity and other unsavory nonsense.

Nothing of the sort has happened. And lately? i've been enjoying it. A little too much i would hazard.

No neighbors has been a boon. I don't have to hear their voices at 3:00am (she had teenage sons who apparently had no curfew) the sounds of cars entering and exiting their driveway. It also means a lot more freedom for me, and that freedom has extended to me walking around my house, blinds up, in various states of undress. Never nekkid though. Yall know how i feel about nudity without a purpose.

So anyway.

Today, i'm in my room, cleaning -its amazing the amount of clothes that accumulate during the week - and i'm rocking bra and pannies look. Its all good, curtains pulled back beautiful daylight streaming through my windows. The calm after the storm you know? The dulcet sounds of N.E.R.D's fly or die reverberating off my walls.

"Cuz you're gon' dance in your undies all over your house..."

How apropos. I just happen to be dancing and singing in my skivvies. Pharrell's singing to me ladies. *swoon* I take a minute to grab a hairbrush and sing to my reflection in the mirror.

"slow motion like a dream / but real time is what it seems"

What? Don't act like yall don't sing into hairbrushes too.

*hair flip*
*booty shake*
*wop*
*kick, ball, change*
*jazz hands*

So i'm dancing and singing and folding and hanging and sweeping and dusting...you know regular sunday afternoon stuff.

When all of a sudden i hear voices. Loud.

Brutally jerked out of my cleaning reverie, i look out my window, panicked. Who do i see but a gaggle of people. I recognize some of them as my former neighbors. The others don't look familiar, but then i see the realtor (i've talked to him before) and realize the rest of the folks must be prospective buyers.

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME HE'S SHOWING THE HOUSE TODAY?

I back away from the window with the quickness, mortified. Had they seen me? Crap i had my light on too. Ugh.

How could i have been so careless? Normally i'm very attuned to the sounds coming from next door for this very reason. Somehow, i allowed myself to get all comfortable and the sounds of - count em - three cars pulling up in the driveway went unnoticed by yours truly. Oh i am truly lord of the idiots. So now whats my plan of attack? Put some clothes on obviously. And turn off the light. But then what? I don't know if they saw anything, so there's no point in going outside to do damage control. Besides, what would i do? Ask them if they saw my cottage cheese thighs(i'm working on it) and then apologize for walking around in my house undressed?

Its really one of those situations where its best to do nothing. If you could see my house you'd understand my concern. I have these huge windows that are a peeping tom's dream. Not to mention the fact that the curtains were pulled back, blinds pulled up to let maximum light flood the room.( i have a thing for natural light).

When they lived next door, i wouldn't have dreamed of walking past an opened window any way other than fully dressed. But i just had to get my icarus on and now my neighbors and possible neighbors-to-be must think i'm a real strumpet. :/

I wish there was a way to know for sure if they saw me or not. I refuse to ask. I guess i'll wait until i run into them and observe their body language. If they look embarrassed and refuse to meet my eyes i'll know. Or if they stare too hard. Ugh.

N.E.R.D - the way she dances