FLOTSAM JETSAM

I've been intermittently staring at this page for the past half hour, trying to conjure up words about something, anything. Nothing is coming. Nothing meaningful, nothing mundane. In the reserves of my mind there is usually some bagatelle of information that i can pull out and build upon. A little anecdote about my life, or perhaps something i've observed that will serve as a stimulant and get the writing juices flowing. Apparently my mental coffers have been emptied of all their goodies, so that even my ephemera has become ephemeral. When did blogging become a chore?

Lately i've been toying with the idea of doing something new with my hair. Color, bangs, layers - maybe going for the gusto and doing all three. I'm hesitant about it of course, being that i have this psychotic love/hate relationship with my coif. I got a "trim" last june, and my hair stylist was a little to liberal with the shears, nearly sending me to the crazy farm. Ok maybe it wasn't that dramatic, but i was more than a little upset when i saw my locks on the floor. To get bangs or layers cut would be willingly subjecting myself to the vagaries of a hairdresser whose intent is to cut. Can i handle it? I envy women who can switch hairstyles at the drop of a hat, no remorse. Walk in the salon - request a chop chop, walk out, freshly shorn and living life as if its golden. Oh no, not me. (and i'm not gonna smoke either.) [if you get that reference i love you.] Its a big deal for me to switch my part from left to right. A haircut? Well that requires prayer and meditation. The last time i had bangs was maybe...1995? Its been a while. They were cool...but the growing out process was annoying. I've had color more recently, 2004 was the year of honey blond/ and reddish highlights. But since then its been back to basics, dark hair (viva brunette revolution!) with a part in the side or middle - ali macgraw mode. It works, but its boring. I need a new sensation © INXS

Honestly i think the hair thing may be symptomatic of something else - a need for change in my life in general. (Here i go deepak chopra-ing again) Sometimes i feel i'm way too complacent with myself. When a challenge comes my way, i always rise to the occasion - but those are external challenges. Rarely do i challenge myself. U. N. Owen (get that reference and i'll marry you...well if you're a dude) has never been a friend of mine. Maybe a change in hairstyle will kick things off? Of course there is always the chance that cutting my hair will merely send me spiraling down into a morass of pyscho impulse based behaviors, which will undermine any goal i'm trying to achieve.

All this sturm und drang could be caused by the fact that my Seasonal Affective Disorder is in full effect. (self diagnosed. reading a magazine a few years ago where they described it, and i went hey! that's me! lol) Don't you love how there's an official disease for everything? Gives my bad moods an air of respectability. lol. Yesterday was a rainy miserable mess, and today, although not rainy - is a mixture of clouds and sun, and for the past hour it has been more clouds than anything else. Combine the clouds with the the cold temperatures, et voila! You have a cauldron full of double double toil and trouble.

Any of my fellow bloggers taken a solo vacation? I don't mean business trip or a weekend of solitude. I mean like three days or more of you, by your lonesome. Is that the equivalent of dining alone? I haven't done either. I'll go to lunch by myself in a heartbeat, but dining in the formal sense? Never. I always chicken out. According to glamour(or was it cosmo?) dining alone is one of the things every woman should have done by the time she is forty. How is that for a goal? Anyway, they didn't say anything about vacationing. Is that just too lame? Would planning a trip for one to the _____ (insert location here) showcase my pluck, or be a sad commentary on my existence?

Kelis - Till The Wheels Fall Off