GENDER NEUTRAL?

What's the inverse of a fag hag?

Somewhere along the way, i've become a guy's gal, and im not sure how I feel about it. The formerly unknown transition was made painfully evident to me last Thursday evening, when i stopped through my boys house and sat with him and his buddies for a few hours. (He's Trinidadian, and when he cooks I always gotta come get some. lol)

We laughed, joked, watched the game, talked about women (shakira vs ciara vs rihanna vs beyonce vs halle vs nia vs stacey...) talked about sports, talked about electronics...

It was an enjoyable time, none of the guys made passes at me, everything was copacetic.

But as the hours passed, a funny thing occurred. I started to feel neutered.

Here i was, a reasonably engaging woman, looking cute (if i say so myself) surrounded by a bunch of dudes...

and none of them made a pass at me?? LOL

What's worse, i was getting shoulder nudges and pounds like i was a dude! Seriously. It was like i was a guy. WTF.

Ordinarily, i would have been cool with this, but for some reason that day it bugged me. I love that dudes always feel cool around me, but i began to wonder if my ease in masculine dominated environments are because of my perceived lack of womanly-ness. I don't want to seem cool because i am viewed as another man. Or if not a full blown "man", a man-like substance.

The icing on the cake was when my boy declared that he was glad that i wasn't "so girly."

Um what?

I mean i have breasts and a booty and a waist dangit! How much more girly can you get? Is that why you are giving me pounds and slapping me on my back like im your homie from around the way?

Ok, i am his homie from around the way but still.

It was very unsettling. Here i am, thinking im just a cool person, but now i wasn't so sure.

Not that i want every man to see me as a sex object. But dang. Is there a healthy happy medium? Do i either have to be uber sexy woman or tomboy-esque?

Im probably coming across as vain. I admit my vanity was a little, um wounded.

Even if you don't want me for yourself, surely you can't be blind to my femininity? When other women entered the room it was a different vibe. But as soon as said woman vacated, it was back to boys club.

I guess i could take it as a compliment, but i mean... yeah.

As is my usual MO, im probably putting way too much thought into this.

But still, when i came home, i sat in front of the tv, sulked, and ate an entire pint of haagen dazs.

How's that for girly?

Les Nubians - Makeda