que sera sera

"The most hateful grief of all human griefs is this, to have knowledge of the truth but no power over the event."
-Herodotus


I worry too much.

Not only do I worry too much but 75 percent of the time its about things I have no control over.

How does that old proverb go?

"please lord give me the strength to change what I can and accept what I cannot"*

...or something like that. lol

sometimes old adages can be cheesy and corny, but this one has really touched me in a soft spot. folx that I really care about, shoot even those I know only on the surface are getting WAY too much of my of my mental energy, and hanging on to one too many of my heartstrings. its not even funny anymore. Actually it was never funny.

a friend of my grandmother's had a mild heart attack last week. Now my grandparents live in SC so my grandmom couldn't visit her friend. As a favor to my grandmom, and also because this lady has been knowing me almost since I was born...i visited her in the hospital. She was doing rather well considering the circumstances and I was relieved. She was able to go home two days later.

Well I just learned today that she was readmitted to the hospital with a fractured ribcage. they're not sure if she fell or not.

However the concern is that she is 78 yrs old, and perhaps she is no longer healthy enough to continue to live on her by herself. :(

My grandfather and grandmother live ALONE on 17 luxurious acres in SC.

They are 83 and 76 respectively.

Since hearing this news about my grandmom's friend I've begun worrying about my own grandparents. They are relatively healthy, but they ARE old.(it hurts to type that).

They basically live in the middle of nowhere, and my concern for their well being has increased fourfold.

if something happens to one of them who will be able to come to their assistance?(of the fam that is) their closest closest child lives 600 miles away.

My grandmom can't even drive.

And so I worry.

and it doesn't stop there:

the poor men in the utah mine disaster.
the victims of the earthquake in peru.
the ongoing strife in Iraq.
the soft housing market(all those vulture-like commercials about foreclosures depress me....although i guess you could say they are performing a necessary, if predatory community service)


I have become a worrying dervish and I hate it. (ok i'm whirling too)

its one thing care, and another to actively worry. what did Jesus say?

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Sage advice indeed. i really need to heed it. I am running myself ragged stressing about the situations of other people. Especially since there is nothing i can do about them.

I don't want to prematurely age myself, so as of this moment i am making a concerted effort to keep balanced.


* The way it really goes(thanks to google)

grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

Courage to change the things I can

and the Wisdom to know the difference.