IN SPRING A YOUNG MANS FANCY LIGHTLY TURNS TO THOUGHTS OF LOVE

-Tennyson

Now that Jay and Beyonce are rumored to have wed, im bracing myself for a revolution. The legions of (male)fans who view jay with an almost religious fervor will spur on a "marriage movement". You know, the ones who wouldn't wear an oxford or a broadcloth until Shawn told them to button it up.

I'm completely expecting an onslaught of men willing to stand up and make honest women out of their girlfriends, common-laws, jump offs, woman-on-the-sides, baby moms, and bust it babes.(whatever that is.)

As jagged edge so eloquently put it: "we ain't getting no younger, we might as well do it." Don't those words just melt your heart?

By the way...just what is it that inspires a man to propose? Outside of deep abiding love i mean. Like when you've been with a woman for 8 years and she's possibly borne one or more of your snot-nosed progeny. Is it really the weather as lord alfred suggested? Or is it as Jagged Edge intimated...the clock is ticking and the sweet young things don't want you anymore? Could it be that you've come home one too many times late @ night, drunk, only to wake up and find the kitchen overflowing with dishes and a bathroom that stinks to high heaven? Are you thinking "wow...i could be married and have a wife who would keep my ratty apt/house/cardboard box clean"? Not that having a wife = housekeeper, but you know how men think. And yes i'm fully aware that i'm being completely sexist, but give me a break. Like you haven't made assumptions based on gender too.

But anyway, its spring and though you can't tell it from the temp...the human body knows. There's an excess of pheromones in the air, and its making every man a lothario. At least the ones i've had the pleasure of being around. Seriously, i dont know if its the new cologne i've been rocking - have you all smelled gucci by gucci yet? Omg its ambrosia for your nose. Wait...I hate ambrosia. Soggy marshmellows and maraschino cherries. Bound together in a pineapple juice suspension. Who decided that that would be a good thing to eat...together? Yuck. Everyone else seems to like it though, so i'll let the analogy stay.

So yeah, i don't know if its the new cologne, or just the excitement @ the change in season. Maybe its because i've been less ashy than usual. Whatever the reason, i've never been bombarded with male attention like this. I mean when i hit my peak in 2001 i chalked the newfound ability to attract men as a side effect of finally developing cleavage. But now whats the reason? My cleave is old news and the ninnies hang low. © erykah. (i fasten my bra @ my knees. don't laugh.) Its strange. Its not like im any different...im just as weird and goofy and socially awkward as ever, but suddenly its like attractive or something.

Normally, im quite slow on the uptake -my first boyfriend almost wasn't because his overtures were going completely over my head. But these recent advances are so blatant, i can't help but notice. Not that that makes them anymore welcome. Just more obvious. The question is why? I'd like to pretend its my irresistible personality and my drop dead good looks, but who am i kidding. On my best days im a troll, and i have as much personality as karl rove's hair. I mean really, that can't be his natural hair color. Its the same shade as his skin; putty.

And, just so you know, all that self deprecation was not a sneaky way of fishing. Nope. No fisheration in this blogerie. Just cold hard facts. O wait..maybe there is. Just a little. Ok sue me! Im ovulating and feeling all whack-a-mole-y right now. I need reassurance people.

I'm kidding.

Not really, but basically.

So yeah, its spring, Jay just got married and suddenly love doesn't look so corny. We'll see how long it lasts once summer hits its stride.