I'M NOT YOUR SUPERWOMAN

No really...i'm not.

With just about every female proclaiming their abilities as an "every woman", (you know, raise 5 kids, singlehandedly no less!, be the CEO of a fortune 500, run marathons, be an active member of the PTA, change tires, bake cookies and still make it to susie's dance recital - on time) its hard to find a woman thats doesn't claim to be all of the above.

Well, let me be the first to admit it ©

My will is strong, but my flesh is weak. and dangit, i refused to be ashamed!

Don't get me wrong, I am quite capable with most things(my daddy taught me to change a tire @ 15), and im willing to learn and do more as each day goes by. But putting on the farce of being able to do it ALL? Thats just too much.

What inspired this topic is that i was talking to my boy today, and he was telling me how one of his friends was dying of love for me(soo not interested btw), but how he was too afraid to approach me because, in his words -

"she is so pulled together"

Now aside from him being scared to talk to me(what are we, 8th graders?) I'm thinking, pulled together? ME? If you only knew. On the outside, i may give that appearance, but word to paula abdul, i'm just scratching and surviving like everyone else.

(yall ARE scratching and surviving right? don't tell me i'm alone on this.)

I've heard this from other people too, one of my girlfriends was like:

"girl you really got your stuff together. You do everything and make it look easy."

Now of course its flattering, but at the time i feel this unbelievable pressure to keep up the facade. Like why do people think i have it all together? Seriously, everyday i'm five steps away from becoming a frazzled mess.

I have as many fears and concerns and feelings of inadequacy as the next person. But, I do know where my strengths lie. I think. Sometimes. And thats basically what i do, play up my strengths, on some "never let em see you sweat."

Like right now, i'm on my fake it till you make it grind. Hard. And slowly surely, im getting to wear i need to be. But, I don't have it all together. I can't do everything, and i'm not everywoman. Whats more? I don't want to be. My ex got to see me in all of my vulnerable and tender glory, and that was a freeing feeling. I miss that. Even with him, after we got together he said how he was nervous on talking to me because that i was seemed so calm and had everything under control.(he soon learned otherwise.)

Maybe its because women weren't allowed to be strong and independent in years gone by that so many work so hard in proving their competence today. And thats beautiful. We are strong, we are able, we are *cue chariots of fire theme here* brilliant.

But, like my aunt told me once;

"You can be anything...but you can't be everything."

I don't want to wear that many hats because frankly, my head isn't that big. (SHUTTY.)

...So, basically, this is a long winded way of saying that i need to get my oil changed and i don't feel like doing it myself, even though i can. Oh yeah I have a dishwasher that need installing too. Yeah...