oh...

so yeah i pretty much suck at blogging. When i came here just now and realized the paltry amount of entries i had it made me realize how awful i am at this.

well not awful, but certainly not wonderful.

especially when i read other blogs and they are just chock full of interesting minutae and i come back here and its a barren wasteland. Sidenote: how do yall with do it? I have an internal running commentary during the day but when i sit down in the evening to wrap up, i gots nothing.

i shouldn't be surprised though, the only time i kept a real journal was when i was dating this dude(i was a youngin mind you) and i kept a detailed acct of all of our interactions. lame.

btw i am sooooo glad to be past that stage.

you know when you agonize over every detail of everything and even minor issues become mountains and life sucks horribly and nobody understands you and omg he kissed me but he probably hates me cuz im not that good a kisser because he's my first kiss and thats probably why he didnt call OMG i'll die of embarrassment if he never calls me again

*blink*

oh wait...that was just me?

well moving on. And, shutup.

so yeah back to the blogging thing...that torrid affair was the only time i kept a clear consistent journal. And by clear i mean i used standard grammar and punctuation, something that i seemed to have lost during the years.

Other than that keeping a journal is something that i WANT to do, but when i sit down to write in it, i get this mental block, and all my thoughts/topics fly right out of my head.

In my creative writing class in HS we were told to keep a journal from from the beginning of the year on up until midterm. Well, every time i sat down to write in that thing, i couldn't come up with idea one, so i procrastinated the heck out of the project until the night before.

Alot of fun it was fudging entries in march to dates in october. I guess i did a pretty good job, i got an A on my project.

Anyway, I've been getting more of this:



Its no fun not being able to sleep at night AND then getting up early and forcing yourself to stay awake during the day. But lately i've been going to bed, falling asleep and STAYING asleep. its a wonderful thing.

I don't know what's worse

the heat or the fact that i just woke up at 2 AM because of it. I'm sweltering. The air in my bedroom is as thick as pea soup. What makes matters worse is that i have an air conditioner, but its in the basement. The air conditioner weighs too much for me to bring it upstairs all by myself. What a tease. So, I sweat. Putting my undies in the Ice box (c) Marilyn Monroe - actually seems like a good idea.

I also considered dousing my sheets, me, or both with water, but I stopped short. (c) frank costanza. the water might make me cool but sleeping on soaking wet sheets?...thats too icky. (c) another marilyn monroe-ism
So i am awake, hot, and flipping through the TV channels. I *should* do something productive, like wash the dishes that are in the kitchen sink, but its freaking two o'clock in the morning. Mama don't like doing dishes at 2 in the morning. Shoot, Mama don't like doing them at 2 in the afternoon. Mama also don't want none unless they got buns hon...

*sigh*

I just want to be asleep, zonked out, and dreaming a wonderful dream.

I have hunger too. Its not helping that im watching pbs and apparently their late night lineup is cooking shows. Daisy cooks just went off(she is a dead ringer for my aunt) and made some kind of chorizo potato salad, which made me salivate a lil bit. Now Lidia's kitchen is coming on, and i'm sure that will make me even more hungry. Suckers.

Question...do most of these cooks cook in their own kitchens? Or are these sets? I've always wondered that.

ugh i need to go to sleep.

Tomorrow should be fun.

i'm too nice

or something

i dont know im always helping other people out with stuff they need or want and putting what i want to do on the back burner

i guess that could be considered a good quality but shoot...WHAT ABOUT ME

anyway i've put my needs on hold again and i want to feel irritated but i guess im just jaded

im jaded about everything lately

eh.

also, i need a vacation. the rents own a place out in hilton head, ima see if i can get the keys and get my chillax on

its wonderful there and works like a tonic on my mood.

i keep threatening to move down there and dangit one day im gonna make good on that threat

and, why is it july 3rd but the high was only 80 today? its summer. im gonna need the weather to turn it up a notch.

im going to bed. im pissed for reasons that i care not to put in print