AU REVOIR 2010

"Like the sands through an hourglass, so are the days of our lives."

Once again, we've reached that moment when we usher out one year in favor of a new one. It's a brutal ritual if you ask me, but who am I to fight against a millenium(s) old institution? Humanity has a fondness for new shiny things, not the least of which is epoch marking. It holds a singular (if masochistic) thrill. We enjoy counting time, even though its essence escapes us. We look forward to a new day even though that means permanent exile from the previous one. Time flies, and as much as we'd like to catch up with it, we can't. So here we are, on the brink of a new year - just as we were getting used to the old one.

Are you ready? I'm not.

Sure, we had 365 days to prepare, but I'm a very sentimental person, and I hate goodbyes. 2010 was pretty good to me, in fact as far as years go it was actually above average, and finished quite well. I'm not eager to see it go. Yet, i must, despite being unprepared. I'm always at a loss when a new year is nascent. Partially due to the pressure (albeit largely self imposed) to tie up all loose ends as it draws to a close, while simultaneously forging new paths for the one to come, in one seamless motion. As if! Balancing those two ideologies requires an adroitness of spirit, clarity of mind, and a color coded schematic that i don't possess.

And so i approach every new year with a... quixotic pragmatism. On one hand i welcome the notion that a new year brings with it excitement, opportunities, boundless joy and infinite blessings. I hope. I yearn. I lust. I crave. I envision all sorts of delightful promise on the basis of a new revolution around the sun. However, on the other hand... i realize that the new year will most likely be similar to the old one. We bring too much baggage with us - even when we think we don't -to truly be expecting a "tabula rasa" when the clock strikes twelve. The supporting cast members of our lives may change, the scenery may differ, but overall, it's the same storyline featuring the same protagonist. (All the world is a stage you know.)

I call it the MC Escher clause of existence.

Regardless, im still looking forward to the new year. Even with all my baggage in tow. [I'm over 25, i can't fake like i don't have baggage any longer. lol. It's classic Louis Vuitton though. *wink* ] Despite empirical evidence showing that last year's recurring themes - the good, the bad and the meh - are bound to show up in the next, im giddy with anticipation. I'm both a stubborn dreamer and jaded cynic. I am large, I contain multitudes. Ya gotta love me!

So my chickadees, i offer up a toast:

Here's to better mistakes, the freedom to contradict yourself with impunity, artistic triumph, unexpected epiphanies and total confusion. Here's to selflessness that nourishes your spirit, and selfishness that gives you edge.

Here's to idealism that keeps you going, the silence that keeps you sane, the wisdom that keeps you focused and the distractions keep you laughing. Here's to embarrassment. Here's to achievement. Here's to love. Here's to being loved. Here's to finally getting it. Here's to not having a clue. Here's to having the courage to laugh at ourselves, to critique ourselves when necessary, to forgive ourselves regularly, and to try again, always.

Here's to all of you reading this post. Here's to the two minutes you took to read that you won't get back. Don't think i don't appreciate it. Seriously. :)

L'Chaim!

Chicago Transit Authority - Beginnings

LES MISERABLES

I know what it feels like to be electrocuted.

Ok that's a slight [extreme] exaggeration, but my hyperbole is not completely baseless. My loves, I am recovering from one of the worst colds i've had in recent memory. In fact i'd go so far as to say it was nothing as mild as a cold, it was more like a flu. It had all the attributes of the classical cold: runny nose, sore throat, fever... but it certainly had earmarks of a stronger malady. Extreme body aches, chest rattling cough, sallow countenance, listlessness, loss of appetite...

I could go on, but you follow the general idea. It was not a good time, at all. Fortunately, I am on the mend, and not a moment too soon. I never thought it was possible, given my hermit/homebody ways - but I actually was sick of being in the house, sick of bed, sick of feeling... sick. Life was going on all around me, yet my world was reduced to the confines of my bedroom, the bathroom and the kitchen. The suffocating claustrophobia compounded the sickness, adding to it feelings of what i guess could be termed "desperation" and/or "anxiety." It was five days of myopic agony, drunk off of expectorant, and the very moment i awakened feeling slightly less like death, i wanted to jump for joy. Actually i did jump for joy, which was a bad idea, given that my body wasn't quite ready for that level of activity. My legs were as wobbly as a newborn colt.

The surprising thing to me was that this cold (flu) hit so hard despite me being on my game regarding exercise, healthy eating, etc etc. I hadn't had a cold in a while - a few sniffles here and there - otherwise nothing remarkable, so i suppose I subconsciously lulled myself into a false sense of security, thinking i would never get sick because i ate a few bean sprouts with dinner. Joke was on me.

Of course I debated relaying such a mundane episode from my life's tapestry (mixed metaphor much??) but as im attempting glasnost im trying not to discriminate between the banal and substantive. Besides, after spending a number of days indoors being an invalid, i really have nothing else to talk about. So basically this means i'm gonna minutiae yall til it hurts.

But it'll hurt so good. ;)

Of course, no entry would be complete without a list so here are four things that I discovered about myself during my recent illness:

4. I want to be babied when I'm sick.
Looky here, i'm human after all. Check on me, attend to me, ask me how im feeling, cluck about me. Like Luther, It's never too much. I'm simultaneously embarrassed and defiant in making this admission. Embarrassed because it reveals a self centeredness -no matter how mild - that ordinarily i find distasteful and gauche. Yet, im defiant because, well, im normally quite self effacing in my day to day activities that i feel I should be allowed a bit of leeway when im not feeling well. I'm not a malingerer either, i never play for sick when im not. However while i am legitimately battling an ailment I do want to be fussed over. Make much over me, stroke me, caress, me. Unless I want to be left alone. But even then, you know I don't really mean that, so don't go too far. ;)

3. I'm prone to becoming excessively, nauseatingly emo.
I'm fortunate to have never dealt with PMS. Painful deblilitating cramps? Yes. Emotional instability? Nah. It's a good and a bad thing. While my emotions were never held hostage by my body's reproductive cycles, I also didn't have the convenience of blaming a bad mood or attitude on them either. If i'm sullen, sulky or irritable it's because of my generally cantankerous nature, not because my body is doing... girlie things. I say that to say, im not used to having my emotions all over the place because of physical sickness. With this cold/flu I was sad, easily aggravated and just a miserable mess. For instance: my netflix streaming video kept buffering, and it had me so frustrated that i started crying. Yeah, I know. Not gulping sobs, but tears ran nonetheless. The crying led to me becoming even MORE congested, which made me even more sad and woebegone... which led to, you guessed it: more tears. Not my finest moment(s). It had reached the point where boo had to snap me out of it: "Baby... stop trippin!" :(

2. Aside from homemade I prefer the taste of campbell's chicken noodle soup to any of those fancy brands.
I like to think im a foodie (though i love/hate this categorization) and enjoy well thought out foods but in this instance, no. Keep your progresso with the specialty noodles and all the veggies. The simple goodness of the signature campbell's noodle and the just-add-water broth are a delight to my palate.

1. I look good naked.
Ok this is a bit..nihil ad rem, but still. So in the moments of lucidity(that is to say, when i wasn't in a nyquil induced haze), the internet was my constant companion. While surfing I discovered that some new celebrities nudes had "leaked." Sidenote: You have to wonder about celebrities and their dedication to privacy. If you know that as a public figure you are prone to having your electronics hacked wouldn't you make more of an effort to keep all that safe? At the very least, keep the compromising pics off YOUR PHONE.

I digress.

Anyway, the latest victim of "leaked" nudes is Christina Aguilera. Of course I had to take a gander. I'll leave my opinions to myself but i will say that thanks to hackers she is the third celeb ive seen undressed, and the third celeb that had me going "heyyy i am not doing bad AT ALL." Like im not just not doing bad... im doing quite well. And this is without the million dollar beauty payroll. Of course i thoroughly advise against comparing yourself to others, but being that the famous are constantly thrown in our faces as almost a benchmark with which to measure ourselves, it's nice to see that you've not only passed, but aced the test. :)

Swing Out Sister - Breakout

GLASNOST

Yes, i've talked about it before. Namely, here. However, despite my assertions of candid revelations and anecdotal intimacies - my intention to be this open honest no-holds-barred blogger came to naught because... well... simply because I didn't make an effort.

Why didn't i make an effort?

Well, not long after my endeavor commenced, i was attacked. By whom or what, you ask? I hesitate to state for fear of judgment and redress, but I will anyway. I was attacked by one of the strongest forces known to man: laziness. The ultimate demotivator. The warning signs were there, but i was as ineffectual against it as Neville Chamberlain was in preventing World War II (munich agreement fail.). The attack resulted in an all out war, with me losing battle after battle. Yes, i'd submit laziness as the fifth fundamental force (along w/strong nuclear, weak nuclear, gravity and electromagnetism) due to it's ability to neutralize the powers of the most strongwilled (wo)men and make a mockery of even the most noble motivations.

Being that i'm the antithesis of anything related to strength, coupled with the fact that my motivations are not exceptionally noble, you can imagine what it did to me. My effort was stifled by my own lassitude. It's a mental torpor just as much as it is a physical one. Not only have i NOT felt like typing out my thoughts, I haven't even felt like thinking the thoughts that would precede typing. It's pathetic really. Yes, laziness has been quite a formidable foe.

The desire is there, but the flesh is weak.

Inertia notwithstanding, this blog was started as a way to document my general confusion, naivete, fears, insecurity and latent psychoses in a blithe and humorous way - with hopes of experiencing catharsis a side effect. Of course i'd like to document my moments of sanguine intrepidation™ as well, but that's not much of a hurdle. It's easy to appear confident and courageous to the general public. Revealing weakness(es) is the tough part. But chronicling it all -good days, bad days, halfway days - is beneficial.The therapy of prose. I'd like to get back to that.

But here's the catch, to experience catharsis, you have to actually, um, blog.

So with that fact in mind, i am now declaring a renewed dedication to be - if not a prodigious blogger - at the very least, a consistent one. It will be a challenge, for even as i battle torpor, i am searching for my literary voice. In that aspect im a bit schizophrenic. My writing mood/voice/style changes with the weather. One minute i'm sardonic and wry, the next im emo and vulnerable, in other situations im contemplative and detached. Sometimes im a mishmash of all of these, with no particular quality exacting hegemony. I suppose that speaks to my eccentricities as a person, or my normality as human. Whatever the case, it takes much effort to corral these varying tones so that my writing doesnt become a syntactical nightmare. While i don't mind my writing giving the impression that im a... whimsical person, i don't want it to convey "crazy." Ok... maybe a little crazy. ;-)

So here's to being, open, vulnerable, over-analytical, cheeky, shy, gregarious, silly, and, on occasion, profound. :-P Most of all, here's to the resurrection* of this blog. :-)




*alleged

TEN THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR RIGHT NOW

Because if i made an all inclusive list, it might be filled with such treacle and sentiment that i might actually make myself vomit. :-)

10. Shea Butter and Coconut oil. With the weather change i've been battling thirsty dermis (AKA ashy skin lol) and this duo never fails me, ever. After a week of exfoliating, dry brushing and applying these oils, my skin is once more hydrated and fit to be seen by the public.

9.My occasional pack rat tendencies. I often buy things and forget I have them, and today that nasty habit served me well. My secret deodorant finally gave up the ghost, and just when i was about to go buy another, or pray i didn't perspire - i discovered another stick one in my toiletry drawer - unused and unopened. SCORE!

8. My netflix account. Im finally using it and wowie zowie. I've gotten access to my favorite films and been put on to new ones. Oh, and instant play? It gives me LIFE.

7. Raspberry Preserves.

6 This image which was sent to me today that kept me from me being a whiny beast. lol

5. The fact that my mom, sister and I have made a date to go to ikea over the weekend. They're doing free breakfast - and that was enough to have us sold (it's ikea though, so it doesnt take much.) The three of us love it there, as we can meander and be aimless at our leisure. The big draw this time is the free breakfast. Of course it won't be some exotic cuisine, but who cares. It's free! It's breakfast! It's Ikea! Do not judge us! lol. Any shopping done post meal will be purely incidental.

4. This cup of tea i'm drinking. It happens to be the bomb dot com. It's just regular oolong, nothing super fancy, but the sugar to cream to steeped tea leaf strength ratio is on point. Im sipping it reaaaaaaaally slow because i want it to last.

3. The moon. It's the second full moon in the month - thus making it a Blue Moon (as in: once in a blue moon) its an ocular rarity and the clear sky tonight just made it majestic. I live on a hill and as the moon rose on the horizon it looked HUGE. It was breathtaking.

2. The comfortably temperate weather. It's the end of november and i'm not freezing! Who knows how long the balminess will last, but right now it feels great.

1. Love. :-D

I'VE GOT RHYTHM. I'VE GOT MUSIC, I'VE GOT MY MAN...

But i don't got a Tablet PC.

So i could ask for more. Just a teensy little bit. Not much. Sorry Ella. Sorry Ira. Sorry George :(

As i sit watching the Eagles vs Redskins massacre game and do my hair (im still a woman after all) i realize that i want -no- need a tablet PC. My inner techie demands it! Right now it's a battle between the iPad, the Samsung Galaxy, and the HP Slate. They all have their pros and cons. I'm not an apple fanboy(girl) so i don't HAVE to have the iPad although it is clearly the leader in the tablet PC market. I really want the best bang for my buck (a trait i inherited from my daddy) so while brand weighs in, it's not a major factor. Of course, looks and functionality are a consideration as well.

Any of you own one? Care to make a recommendation? I'd be much obliged.

And yes this is a beyond lame entry, but hey. lol :-)

And Now one of my favorite covers of a song i've been obsessed with for the past few weeks: Coltrane's Naima (interpreted by the wonderful 4hero)

ON THE EDGE OF A DREAM

that hazy space where imagination and reality coexist, where fact meets fiction...

where the possibilities are infinite and you want to explore each and every one of them...

in a daze... so amaze.. and the feeling is so sublime.

that's where i've been. it's grand. im thinking of staying here forever. :)

make the moon smile and the sun glow...

and if you should see me while you sleep, wave hello. ;)

Andy Allo FT. Blu - DreamLand (one of my new favorite songs, by a fellow big haired sister lol. give a listen, i promise you'll like it.)

MERCURY RETROGRADE

... and you!

Sit down my little chickadees, we're about to have a lesson. :-)

Yes, this is going to be one of *those* entries. Nerdy, dorky, geeky, pocket protector-y. This is your fair warning. Abandon all hope, all ye who enter, and stuff like that.

But for those that stay, thank you.

I haven't done one of these for a while.

Over the past few weeks i noticed what seemed to be minor fervor over the fact that mercury was in retrograde. Facebook, twitter, a few of the other blogs i visit have all touched on the subject in one way or another. I figured I would hop on the bandwagon, and do my own entry on mercury retrograde. This is my attempt to explain the strange phenomena, and hopefully shed some light on the subject. Most of all, i'd like folks to CALM DOWN! lol. Im only an amateur astronomer, but yall know i dont need but a inch of a reason to talk about one of my favorite subjects. lol

So, what is Mercury retrograde?

Well, at one point in history, long before any of us were born (i hope) people were of the erroneous belief that the earth was the center of the universe. I'm sure we're all aware of that. This is what is commonly known as the "geocentric model." Ptolemy and Aristotle, both learned men, promoted and ascribed to this paradigm, understandably so, as from the observer's POV - the planets and stars DO seem to revolve around the earth. It was under this supposition that ancient astronomers would study and make calculations regarding the night sky.

At times the movement of the planets (greek: wanderer) were puzzling. For the most part they seemed to follow a predictable orbit, but then there were times when they seemed to act of their own accord. They would slow down and go "backward," only to pick up speed and move forward once more. When the planet appeared to retrace its steps, it was said to be in retrograde (Latin: retro- gradus: "backward step") To account for the baffling occurrence, astronomers developed clumsy, yet elaborate models to explain this backwards motion. (Google deferent and epicycle.)

However in depth these models were, the were faulty at best because they were built on flimsy foundation. Earth was NOT the center of the solar system, much less the center of the universe, so an explanation for strange planetary behavior would necessarily be specious.

Enter Copernicus.

Guided by the principle of Occam's Razor: "the best model is the simplest one. The one requiring the fewest assumptions and modifications in order to fit the observations." and based on his own observations, Copernicus was able to develop and popularize the sun centered model of the solar system, what we call "heliocentric." This was a boon to astronomy. It clarified so many things! It was under this model that suddenly planetary motion made sense. Earth was removed from its former role of prominence (much to the chagrin of the Church), reduced to just another planet, and joined the other planets in making revolution AROUND the sun. It was realized that the apparent retrograde motion of any planet is due to relative positions in orbit. The name planet was now a misnomer, as the greek sobriquet "wanderer" was based on earlier suppositions that the planets had minds of their own. It was believed they "wandered" in the sky. It was now discovered that they all had stable, and not haphazard, orbits.

Which brings me to Mercury.

Rule one of retrograde: there is NO retrograde.

The planet mercury is closest to the sun. It moves faster than the earth, and completes its yearly solar orbit every 87 days or so. Compare that with Earth's 365. It also has the most eccentric orbit of any of the planets. Eccentric being an orbit's amount of deviation from a perfect circle. It is because of this high eccentricity, that the speed of mercury's orbit changes. When its furthest from the sun, its at its slowest point, which gives the Earth time to "catch up" so to speak. When earth approaches mercury, mercury gives the appearance of seems going backwards - or what astronomers call: retrograde. However retrograde is not real. Its an optical illusion.


Apparently, for those given to superstitions, or those who who monitor celestial objects as the way to divine the future, and rely upon astrology to plan life, "retrograde" is a bad/scary thing - for this backwards movement seems to go against natural planetary behavior. However this ISN'T contrary planetary movement. There is no evil going on here. That is a leftover of the centuries when the ptolemaic geocentric theory held sway. We know now that Mercury is not really going backwards, its the perspective of the earthbound observer that results in the apparent retrograde motion. Mercury is completing the same orbit as always. In fact, at any given time about 40 percent of the other planets are in retrograde motion as well!

So is mercury's "backward" motion the reason why you lost the job? Why your team can't seem to win? Why you locked the keys in the car? Why your cell phone keeps dropping calls? Nope. Don't fret. Don't let superstitions based on outdated (and wrong) science get you all in a tizzy. The planets are our friends!! Its not their fault when things are amiss. When things go wrong, remember: it's not because of planetary movement, its because life sucks. :-)

Nicholas Payton - The Backward Step (fitting right??)

HOW I GOT OVER

..it.

Yeah, im actually feeling like writing this friday afternoon.

So, i had a mini existential crisis the other day. Ok nothing as serious to be labeled a "crisis" but a definite moment of, shall we say, "piquant nihilism." And if you're wondering if nihilism can ever be piquant -- don't. ;-) If you follow me on twitter you probably were there for for my brief "moment" LOL. If you weren't, don't worry, no breaking down on the internets. I remain calm. © On twitter it was more of a comedic observation, but still, it touched a nerve. It started when i decided to revisit my HS yearbook and the accompanying life book/journal thingie that came with it. 150 dollars for a yearbook? I BETTER get some kind of ancillary volume with it. Hmph. Ok it was my mom footing the bill but still.

I digress.

The life book/journal was a way to document our dreams and aspirations, and in discussing the future - it asked the question "where do you see yourself in ten years?" I gave a long detailed answer -- the kind only a naive inexperienced seventeen year old would give. I was bursting with unbridled enthusiasm then, exceedingly optimistic, and the world was my oyster. My answer reflected that. Needless to say, i was way off what i thought i would be, and even though those were technically the meanderings of a child, the fact that very few of those goals were achieved kind of smarted.

So i started to think. Where did i go wrong? © jeff osborne/ltd Fundamentally, my values haven't changed. Im not all that much a different person from the one i was a few *cough* years ago. Bigger boobs, bigger butt, bigger debt, yes. Other than that? The same ol G.

*b-girl pose*

It boils down to decisions. Things like: Opening a bloomingdales credit card account at 19 (why???). Going to one school over another. Lettin that boy call me. A bunch of coulda woulda shouldas. Why didn't i do THIS instead of THAT? Or why couldn't i see that my mom was right about this? And that i would be salty about that? Its a case of hindsight being the only time everything makes sense, despite the wisdom and and cautionary tales of people around me. And thats the kicker.

We can only explain ourselves to ourselves. And sometimes even that comes with great difficulty.

No matter how right the world around us may be - our parents, friends, mentors, spiritual advisors -- the only time things make sense is when we can explain things to ourselves in terms WE understand. Unfortunately things generally only make sense after the fact. But that's life i suppose. You learn by living. But living is long, and time is so short.

And so i'd like to time travel...just to visit myself.

There is nothing exceptionally revelatory id like to disclose (ok maybe today's winning lottery number lol), rather it would be me teaching/learning myself many of of life's lessons before i had to experience them. I could explain to myself why my mom is correct about *that*, or why i should make a left turn instead of a right, how good skin starts with diet, and that mountain dew and a glazed doughnut do not make a good breakfast. Reach me in ways that no outside source could, not because the outside source was wrong, but simply because the outside source wasn't me. An existential cheat sheet if you will. Truths i know now, and could explain to myself -- thus avoiding some bumps and bruises along the way. I'd make myself understand that life is difficult, but living is easy.

What i've learned:

That beauty begins with the mind. Youre only as attractive as your mental state. You're only as independent as you allow others to be. You do get over heartbreak but it takes about two years longer than you thought. Songs you hate are the ones you unerringly learn the words to. Mountain Dew with high fructose corn syrup tastes better than the one with sugar. That admitting a failure is the first step to healing. That most things can be filed under two categories: Important and NON important. That most things we stress over fall into that latter category. That further subdivisions can be made, but remembering the initial header is the key to maintaining sanity. That worry does nothing but make you look old. That one day i'd actually appreciate the mass of curls on my head.

That people are people. Ethnic, national and cultural differences aside. We all want to be liked. We want to be unique... but we want to fit in. We crave attention. We want to be admired. We want to feel needed. We hate feeling insignificant and have a deep fear of rejection. How when we're embarrassed and confused we send out a thug representative to do battle for us. We're not really tough though. We pretend to be because vulnerability leaves us feeling, well, vulnerable. We want you to look beneath the surface. We want to be handled gently. We're hurting. We're self conscious. We want to be ourselves and not mind. We want to be ourselves and we want you to not mind either. We want to be "gotten." We want to be understood. We want to know that you have felt it too. We want to be left alone, but not left out. We hate when we are judged unfairly, we want you to see things from our point of view. We want to be forgiven.

That we may forget everything about a person (name, age... looks even) but we will forever remember how they treated us. How the inverse is equally true. How in essence, most of all, we want to be loved. Love is earth's most abundant yet under used resource. We want our parents to love us, our friends to love us. We want to be in love. We want to be in love so deep that we consider get the person's name tattooed on our body. (even though we don't. RIGHT?) We want to be loved for ourselves and in spite of ourselves. Its that simple.

So, armed with that knowledge, im not going to let a 10+ year outline for my life throw me for a loop. I have love, im giving love, and everything else will follow.

Its how i dont know what im talking about yet i still blog so that everyone else knows it too. lol. Its how life is not so bad at all, when you live it off the wall. :-)

Bilal - All that I Am

50 GREAT THINGS ABOUT FALL

I'm over here looking at my calendar with a puzzled expression on my face. Wasn't it JUST January first? How are we now in the month of August? Late August at that! August 23rd to be exact. Like, when did this happen? Wasn't i just a chubby faced kid with frizzy pigtails asking my mom to PLEASE "buy me an easy bake oven?" (she never did) Now im a chubby faced adult --albeit with a bit more cheekbone definition -- who is still wanting an easy bake oven. Some things never change. Unlike the seasons. Time is flying and try as I may (which, admittedly, is not very hard) I can't keep up. My favorite season of the year is reaching its climax, and as much fun as climaxes are *smirk* -- they don't last forever.

*insert thoughtful look here*

All isn't lost though. As much as i love summer, fall is my second favorite season. If by some magic we could turn the four seasons into two, i'd want it to be fall and summer. Can you imagine? An endless cycle of fall and summer all year long. um.. heaven? Im so down with that. Until they invent a solution to my two-season-a-year problem, i figured that rather than get all maudlin at summer's imminent conclusion, i'd get hype over fall's subsequent arrival. Not that im trying to rush you or me through the year, but since it was on my mind, i figure, why not talk about it?

But enough with the prelude:

1. The fall landscape. It boasts a beauty unlike any other time of the year. Fall foliage takes your breath away.
2. turtlenecks
3. boots
4. scarves
5. Hats. Newsboy caps, tams, fedoras, berets... hide your hair and look fly at the same time.
6. Dancing without excessive perspiration.
7. Football. ah football. Sunday and monday suddenly have meaning again.
8. Hot chocolate/cocoa
9. Hot apple cider WITH the cinnamon stick. (and maybe a little rum if youre feeling naughty. lol)
10. Warm days and cool nights.
11. corduroy
12. Wool overcoats
13. Blazers. I live in blazers during the fall season. It's perfect for the times when its too cool to go without covering, but too warm for a full on coat.
14. Giant pots of chili
15. No more mosquitoes!
16. Argyle. (and gentlemen, may i suggest a pair of argyle socks? Let em peek beneath your slacks when you cross your legs at work. Super duper hot. I wouldn't steer you wrong. I promise. Love, mama Lex)
17. Comfort food.
18. Its acceptable to gain a few lbs.
19. Hearing leaves crunch beneath your feet.
20. Fighting the urge to dive into a pile of leaves. (yes i am 30something and i still want to do this. Well until i remember all the vermin that crawls around in said leaf pile)
21. Using the fireplace
22. The smell of firewood
23. The harvest moon.
24. Crisp mornings.
25. Soup!
26. Pumpkin spice anything. Coffee, lattes, bread, candles...
28. Hayrides.
29. Amish country.
30. Nesting
31. Chilling under blankets on the sofa
32. Chilling under blankets on the sofa with the boo watching movies (preferably saturday afternoon cheesy films or the oldies but goodies: raiders of the lost ark etc etc)
33. Mowing the lawn becomes less and less necessary.
34. Studios put out the good movies. No more substance-less blockbuster schlock (although inception was GOOD. did any of yall see it yet?? tsk. yall suck!) and more thinking films. And yes, I like to do that every once in a while.
35. Freshly baked bread.
36. Reading in waning daylight. I like to leave my blinds open until its almost completely dark. No other lights on in the house. Call me weird (but just call me.)
37. Pie.
38. Scrabble and pie.
39. The sound of wind blowing through the leaves.
40. General Coziness. Ever notice how things are so friggin cozy and squeezy(yes i made that word up) in fall? Its cuddle season! Spoon me baby.
41. Classical and jazz by the fireplace.
42. Sweats and hoodies.
43. Brisk evenings outside with the fire pit providing light and heat.
44. Picking pretty leaves and putting them in a scrapbook
45. Baking on weekends
46. Going shopping for school supplies even though you aren't in school. :-)
47. Leaving the window cracked at night so you have an excuse to crawl up under your sweetie :-)
48. Candy Corn. I dont particularly like it, but i do it because everyone else does. lol
49. Nature hikes to observe and enjoy the season.
50. Quiet nights of quiet stars, and everything in between.

Summer Soft - Stevie Wonder

I BELIEVE IN... PART II

-Tea
Anyone who knows me well, knows that i am a tea junkie. Exotic, run-of-the-mill, loose leaf, bagged - Like pokemon, i gotta get them all. (i know. feel free to groan.) I am a lover of coffee too (and how), but there is something about tea that i find infinitely soothing. I had the pleasure of attending a Japanese Tea Ceremony, and it was a most tranquil experience. But, even without an elaborate ritual, tea calms me. Don't front on tea. BTW, im totally sipping some chai RITE NAH. :)

- Just Being
Or as we say in common parlance: Chilling. The Italians have a nice expression for it: "Il dolce far niente" The sweetness of doing nothing. Sound more poetic and less lazy that way, no? But in whatever language you choose to put it, doing nothing is one of the greatest things... ever. For best results, try doing nothing with a cup of tea. ;-)

-Dancing
WTH is wrong with you people? Why aren't you shaking your bodies down to the ground? Why am i, with my too shy shy © kajagoogoo self, the first one on the floor when the dance music starts?? Its my firm belief that 95 percent of the world's problems would be solved if everyone danced more often. Seriously, dancing is my number one stress reliever. Its not about formal training, its not about staying on beat, (though that helps) its about its about feeling the music, and ENJOYing yourself. And fellas... i can't stress this enough: DANCE. Don't worry about if you look stupid or awkward. You probably do and its ok. Kinda cute even ;-)

-Giving Compliments freely and frequently
If you admire something about someone why hold it in? Are you afraid of looking like youre sweating someone? Shoot. Ima let yall in on a little secret. I sweat all my friends. Seriously. Spread the good word. Oh and beware the difference between a sincere compliment and flattery.

-Not taking yourself(myself) too seriously.**
When did everyone get so deep? Between twitter, FB and the zillions of forwarded texts i get daily(im about to fight my cousin LOL), im wading through a glut of profundity. Folks are so insightful, so circumspect. Do we laugh at ourselves anymore? Where do the lighthearted go? Laugh at yourselves people! Be goofy! Admit mistakes when you make em. Stop couching everything in sagey expressions. Part of being human is being flawed! The world is a whole lot easier to navigate when we denude our egos of excessive gravitas.

-Men's Razors
Omg yall. Can someone explain to me why we ladies are getting the short end of the st(ypt)ic(k)? When it comes to hair removal why am i getting a closer smoother shave with mens schick quattro than with the one for women? (Um... don't answer that. I know yall got jokes. lol) But yeah they make the womens in pastels and scented and all that other fun girly stuff, but what im most concerned about is performance. And razors designed for males are much better than the ones designed for the fairer sex. But you don't have to take my word for it... ©

-Being unabashedly, unapologetically... Regular.
I don't know yall, but lately i've been feeling all last of the mohicans-ish. And it has everything to do with being um, regular. And no, not activia regular. lol. (rashad) I know everyone has different definitions of what constitutes regular/normal, but for the purposes of this blog im going to define my regular as "being content with the basics." Its more than that of course, but thats my feeling reduced to the lowest common denominator. t seems that everyone is on the cusp of greatness, is making moves or some other expression that signifies a grand aspirations. Not that anything is wrong with that... but. Its like nobody is _just_ a person anymore. Everyone is a daggone brand. Conceiving their brand, building their brand. Why is everyone intent on making themselves a commodity? Whatever happened to the simple life? Sheesh. I just (ok maybe not JUST) want to get married, have some pretty (hopefully) babies, and a nice home to come to where i can close the door shut out the world, and watch the history channel. Seriously. Keep your flashing lights. I am not at all average, but i am quite regular. (and yes there is a difference. ;-)

-Hugs
Give one. Spread love.

-Being alone
People who always have to be with people make me nervous. Of course i could be exposing my limitations here, but im a firm believer of aloneness (NOT loneliness) Why you always need people to distract you? Get comfortable with yourself. Solitude is not scary -- if you do it right. Learn what inspires you, get a handle on what makes you tick. You can't ever be comfortable with others until you learn to be comfortable with yourself. Over the years, the biggest hurdle for me was doing things by myself. If i couldnt get someone to accompany me on -- whatever -- then i just didn't to it. Wackness. I missed out on a lot because of that. Now im all about getting out there. So do, see, feel. Don't be afraid if no one wants to come with you. Its ok to do it alone. The bonus? When you do have someone(s) to join you, that makes it all the sweeter.

-Experiences not "things"
This may seem laughable to folks that know me - for i have many "things." But the fact of the matter is the older i get, the less i want things (or at least things in excess) and the more i want experiences. Experiences, shared or not - i find have much more long-term fulfillment than the initial -- but transient joy of things. Not to mention, material things take up so much physical space, where to store it all? Experiences are habitue of the mental. and that space is endless. The funny thing is, the more you fill it, the more space there is.

-Burning Bridges
Ok i don't mean quit your job on some steven slater steez. Or cuss out your momma when you know you're gonna be hitting her up for next months rent check. But i mean we all probably have experienced relationships with people places shoot -- THINGS even -- that we know are toxic. Perhaps we are even aware that they are no good - yet we keep going back to them because they are familiar, comfortable, maybe even comforting. Yet the toxicity remains. In those instances when we finally get the cojones to cross that bridge - BURN BABY BURN. Watch the smoke ascend. Don't look back! We know how that worked out for lot's wife. ...What? "Didn't any of you go to sunday school?" (points if you can source that quote) Anyway. If we don't burn it, we may be tempted to cross it once more, double back on ourselves to see if things have changed, gotten better. When chances are, they haven't. According to einstein the definition of insanity is doing the same thing but expecting different results. We aren't insane are we?

-Under promising and over delivering.
You know the old adage "actions speak louder than words?" and its cousin "talk is cheap?" Well those didnt become old adages for no reason. The fact of the matter is, most people would rather you DO rather than tell saying you will -- but DON'T. That's worse than never saying anything at all.

-Bacon

Need i really explain?

**Of course, it could be argued that by even making an entry talking about what i believe in, i am guilty of taking myself too seriously. But, well, we won't argue that will we? :-)

Roy Hargrove - Dream Traveler

11 THINGS I MISS ABOUT YESTERYEAR

My milieu the past few days has been one of reverie. Im sentimental and nostalgic by nature, and just the slightest stimulus is necessary to send me wandering down memory lane... getting stuck in the brambles and underbrush of now vs then.

Through the force, things you will see, other places, the future, the past, old friends long gone... - Yoda*

Pretty much.

Ok so maybe i don't have the force (YET. im working on it) but i do have a memory that works on occasion, and here are 10 things that i miss from back in the good old days. This is not an exhaustive list - i doubt i could ever exhaust this topic - meaning i'll probably revisit it in the future. Until then, read on and feel free to share some of your own! Sidenote: its sad that i even have a good old days. Gosh!


I miss:


1. Mixtapes
Remember them? Not the "mixtapes" that are out now, where the word mixtape serves as more of an idea than a reality. Im talking actual factual cassette tapes. Remember making them? The painful process of adding up the times of each song you were dubbing so that you didn't go over the space of your tape? Remember taping things off the radio? Remember hating when the DJ would talk over or cut off the end of the song? I used to always neglect label the tapes and put the song listing on the little card that went inside the tape case. Id have to listen to the tape to find out what was on it. lol. OR what about if someone taped over your tape??? UGH.

Or how about this: remember having a mixtape MADE for you? Like if a guy liked you he'd make you a tape? lol. As a person who has ALWAYS loved music i loved this kind of thing. Funk that other stuff. Put me on to some music though ?? *swoon* The first time i heard Keith Washington's kissing you was on a mixtape. I had never kissed this guy but i guess he was giving me hints? Another one of my puppy love suitors made me one - a maxell 90 min tape - with all sorts cool jams. AND the kicker? At the end of the tape, he put "please don't go girl" by New Kids on the Block. This guy HATED new kids, thought they were new edition rip offs but he knew i loved that song (and still do) so he put it on there for me. Well that was better than a 4 carat cushion cut. I was ready to marry him right there. (Un)fortunately i was 15, so... that never came to pass. But yeah, i miss mixtapes. "We" need to do that again. I'd settle for a mix CD... Shoot. A mix playlist even...

2. Big Wheels

The in between stage from tricycles to bikes. So much FUN.

3. School Shopping
I was in target earlier this evening and the back to school section was in full effect. Is it me or do they put the stuff out earlier and earlier each year? Pens, pencils, black and white composition books... you name it. I saw a few parents browsing the sales and i recalled the excitement i used to feel around this time of year. While i was sad that summer vacation was coming to an end, i was anticipating the new school year. New clothes, new shoes, new trapper keeper(while they were in style) new friggin outlook -"THIS year im going to really apply myself, be the straight A student i know i can be." - this attitude, of course, fell by the wayside two weeks in to the new year. But it was fun while it lasted. Now as september approaches, there is nothing to get excited about. All it means is fall and winter... and well im not even going to go there right now. lol

4. Saturday Morning Cartoons
In my pajamas. Eating cereal. Apple Jacks. Lucky Charms. The good cartoons too! Hannah Barbera: Scooby Doo. Jonny Quest. Josie and the muthalovin pussycats! And of course, Bugs bunny (yes i know this is Warner)

5.Family Vacations
My family used to ALWAYS vacation together, at least once a year. Mom and Dad picked the spot, and we went. But that was when we were kids. Now that we're all grown and living our oh-so-fancy adult lives, its incredibly rare for all of our schedules to mesh so that we can all vacay together. Errybody got to check their "schedule". Um excuse me but when did yall get so important?? Im the oldest and and i aint doing isht! lol. But yeah, i'd give anything for us to all go on another road trip together, dad's oldies blasting, my brothers and i playing punchbuggy when we spotted volkswagon beetles on the road, my sister whining about someone sitting too close to her, my dad getting mad at requests for unscheduled bathroom stops, mom being the long suffering mediator she always is. The kids in unison begging to stop at mcdonalds, my parents ignoring our pleas only to stop at some corny unheard of spot in some overgrown corner of I-95. Yeah, i miss that.

6. Buying CDs
Ok maybe not buying (who likes spending money?) But moreso owning. My music collection is bigger and better and broader and deffer than it ever has been, but one thing about it bothers me. The majority of it is virtual. And though i love the immediacy of buying something on Itunes... or "acquiring" it by other means there is something to be said about having a hard copy. Its hard to explain, but there is a realness about a CD (or record) that just doesnt exist in the digital world. Not to mention, when i bought my cd i'd read ALL the liner notes, the thank yous... everything. I'd study the pictures, check for the photographer (if there was one) all that kind of stuff. You cant do that when you download. So, while the end result is the same - you get your music - the essence and experience has changed.

7. Late Night Phone Convos
Um... when did i get old? When did yall get old?? Why is everybody turning in at 9:30 PM?? Who are you people??? Ok im exaggerating for effect, but the truth is that things shole have changed from the days when i could stay up talking on the phone til two and 3 in the morning , go to school and NOT miss a beat. Hanging up quickly if my dad picked up. Calling up folks on three way... lol. *sigh* I dont even know what we would be talkin about. Half the time we'd be silent, watching tv LOL. But those days are long gone. People dont even talk on the phone anymore(i know im guilty as a rampant texter) and late at night?? Pshaw. Kids arent on the phone... theyre on facebook! I saw my little 14 year old cousin posting updates at 1 am. Girl you better go to bed! Where yo' momma at? Statuses like: "OMG i ♥ ♥ justin beiber s0 much!!!!! Its just too much for me. lol. But i digress. I miss the the silly, innocent (yeah right) fun of those phone convos.

8. The Pace
Everything moves so fast now. Remember when news was news? Remember when we had fun just to have fun and not to put it on facebook so we can show how much fun we are having? Remember when things weren't a click away and you had to wait? Remember anticipating? Now that everything is a real time endless stream of data... nothing really stands out. Just blips on collective consciousness. Its like we know everything at once,... while still managing to know nothing at all. Weird right? Dont get me wrong, i appreciate everything modern life has to offer, but sometimes... i just want to take a second to breathe...

9. Not being so technology reliant
What is the last phone number you memorized? Im so friggin tired of being tethered to machines! LOL. But its my fault. I could make my brain work, but i have chosen the easy path. I have about 10 numbers in my head that i know by heart. The rest are in my phone, on various contact lists. If i ever lost my phone... or if my pc crashed... or if the giant computer that runs the world went offline, i'd be sunk. No bueno.

10. Being naive
I didnt know people did this or that. Or that that can happen with this. Or that would have an effect on this. Or that that... and that. and that. and THAT.. and OMG make it stop! Please!

11. Believing that one day it would all make sense.
Nope. Not yet anyway.


*********************



Today's music choice - Remind me by Patrice Rushen. Classic. LOVE this sound. You might recognize it as the song sample for the junior mafia classic - Need you tonight. Sing it girl...

Dang... i think i miss 1995 too...



Patrice Rushen - Remind Me




* i couldnt resist. had to find a way to insert star wars in there. lol

RANDOM QUESTIONS

And my answers to them. :-)

So, this grouping of questions was sitting in my formspring, (which i have been leaving woefully neglected) apparently sent to me by one of my readers. I know, i was amazed anybody still read this thing too! The reader didn't leave a name, so no shout out. But i will say thank you for making me feel loved. lol :-)

Anyway, on a nice steamy friday morning that has left me less motivated to work than usual... what better time to answer the questions? Sorry reader, whoever you are for having to wait a few months for the answers. That's if you're still there.

Anyone? Beuller? lol.


Without further Ado:


1.What is your name?
Alexis

2. Do you have a nickname?
Um people call me lex, lexy/lexi solar plex (my mom's sobriquet) - my grandad calls me alex.


3. How old are you?
Do you know binary? im 100000 :-)


4. What is your hometown?
The intersection of I-95 and the schuylkill.

5. What is your favorite food?
Gee... do i have to name one? That's like unpossible. I suppose if i had to eat one kind of food for the rest of my life, it'd be sushi. OR macaroni and cheese. Ok wait... steak.

6.Do you believe in Ghosts?
Ghosts? Hm.. i wouldn't say ghosts per se. At least not in the typical hollywood depiction. But spirits, yeah.

7.Who is your favorite music artist?
Do i have to pick? Can i get a top five or something?? lol. Man...(or woman) I have no idea. So many genres, so many amazing artists... but if i MUST choose, Michael Jackson. No... Stevie Wonder. No... EWF No... Miles Davis. NO... stravinsky. Dang it. Im pleading the fifth on this one. Oooh Beethovens fifth...

8. Do you drink/smoke?
Drink yeah, Smoke no.

9. Are you pierced? How many?
Yep. Two in each each ear, and two in... other places. lol

10. Any tattoos?
Ink free, but im currently rocking some ill henna. lol. I definitely do plan to get a permanent tat but i really need to get one that is meaningful and not some cliche (rose, name, rainbow, MOTHER lol) one. Im looking at an adinkra or astronomy related. My friend is an artist, im hoping a design can be conceptualized for me.

10. What would you say is your best qualities?
LOL more than one? I hate these kinds of questions. I always feel like a douchebag answering them, like im bragging on myself. lol. Anyway, i dunno. Off the top, I'd say my loyalty. I will fight for my friends and family. Those i love i forever have their back. Like state farm, i'll be there. Or like a bad penny. *shrug* lol.

Um... what else? I love to learn. Im always willing to try and do new things and i love absorbing and basking in knowledge of other people. Three, im a good cook. I burn in the kitchen. (in the good way.) Fourth: I heard im kinda sweet too. lol.
but you don't have to take my word for it... :)

Ok i just went on about how i dont like those kinds of questions and then gave a long drawn out answer. but if you're a reader of this blog you know i admit to being full of isht.

Anyway.

Thanks for the cool questions! Anybody have any others? Send em to my formspring as i plan on checking regularly now. It gives me something to blog about. :)

And as its Friday we need some cool down music... I've been chilling out to Erykah's Gone Baby Don't Be Long. Perfect cruise tune. Im gonna ride out into the sunset with this one. Yeah baby...

SPELUNK THROUGH YOUR MIND

And go see Inception.

I usually shy away from making movie suggestions - i get so crushed when i like something, but other folks are like "HATED IT" - but i enjoyed this film so much, that im going to go out on a limb, put my reputation on the line, and recommend that you ALL visit your local cinema and see this exciting, thought provoking, and action packed sci-fi adventure drama. Its a triptych of awesomeness, a trait something sorely lacking in most blockbusters, most of which substitute loud noises, car explosions, and gratuitous sex scenes for actual storyline.

Id suggest you go see it with me, on your dime of course. :-) (JOKES! ...unless you gonna do it. lol.) Unfortunately, im only one woman (and not enough to divide the pie ©) so your next best pick is someone who appreciates sci-fi, mental puzzles, and genuine FUN. Choose wisely because youre going to want to discuss the movie afterward and if you see it with someone without much imagination, or someone averse to nerdy and dorky conversations about things that have no bearing on real life, youre going to be left unfulfilled. lol.

I wont dare give the premise of the film except to say it explores dreams, their nature, and that feeling we have all experienced from time to time - "is this real?"

...Or something i utter in moments of exasperation: "this CAN'T be life." lol

Think of the hypnagogics of Magritte, the logarithms and tessellations of M.C. Escher, and throw in the staples of your favorite action movie and you have Inception. A summer blockbuster i put my stamp of approval on. I didn't even hate Ellen Page. (the knowitall from juno. lol)

But i don't want to big it up too much(like i didn't already), so i'll stop here. But go see it, and then come back to this entry and lets talk about it :-)




P.S. A "real" entry (ok, list) coming up next.

HAPPY BLOGIVERSARY TO ME!

Three years.

I'm short on words tonight(the heat has melted my brain), but who needs words when there is food? So please, take a cupcake. :-)

And while enjoying the sweet treat, move your feet to this gem i danced my tush off to over the weekend: Cal Tjader's Shoshana. Why salsa and latin jazz rock.

Cal Tjader - Shoshana

SUMMER SOLSTICE (60 REASONS WHY SUMMER IS MY FAVORITE)

In honor of this longest day of the year, and the official start of summer, i decided to make a list of the things I love about the best season. And no, summer being the best season is not up for debate. :-) Feel free to tell me why you love summer too!

Without further delay:


1. The heat.
Call me a weirdo (but just call me) but... i kinda like waking up to 70 degree mornings, and going to sleep to 75 degree nights. Ok, maybe not *like* (sweating immediately after you shower is NOT the business) but i find it reassuring. Its the environment's way of saying "summer is HERE." You're gonna be hot, you're gonna be uncomfortable, and by golly, youre gonna be sweaty!" But I dont mind. What i can't stand are those weak summers where the temperature doesn't get past 85 degrees. I like my summers hot, sunny and long. :-)

2. That wonderful breeze that comes out of nowhere during a still, hot day.

3. Riding with the windows down... and the AC blasting.

4. The beach.
The beach rocks all year, but the summer just makes for optimal enjoyment. I can never pick which i enjoy better, the beach sunset or sunrise - but suffice it to say, both are awesome. Biking on the beach is the ultimate. Then theres the salty air that smells divine, the soothing sound of the ocean... the feel of the sand underneath your feet. What's not to love? Oh.. ok, i don't love the gull footprints. Creepy!

5. Cute bikinis and swimsuits you worked all winter to fit in.

6. Sunny days = Sunny Moods.

7. Sunglasses that double as headbands.

8. Sangria.

9. Vacations, staycations, plain old relaxation.

10. BBQ
What is it about barbeque/grilling that makes everything taste better? And why do i lose all sense of space and time as soon as i smell the charcoal percolating? During the summer i can grill every day and not get tired of it. Everything is subject to open flame... veggies, meats... fruit even! (i grilled some peaches the other day. BOMB) Grilling is wonderful year round (and props to those who do it!), but the grill was made for the summer. Or is it that the summer was made for the grill? Hm...

11. Fireworks.

12. Long walks.

13. Bike rides.

14. Sundresses.
During my preteen years i was a a bit of a tomboy and you couldn't pay me to wear a dress. You had to order me to do it. No, seriously. (Which, btw, my dad did. lol. but thats another story for another time.) And this is why it is more than a little incongruous how much i love wearing dresses now. And sundresses? Shucks. What's easier than throwing on a dress on a hot summer day? They're cool. They're feminine, and simple. No searching for tops and bottoms. Effortless and expedient. Bonus: my dad feels a whole lot better. lol

15. Sandals.

16. Blowing bubbles.

17. Getting Tan.
Don't believe the hype, black people tan. How do i know? Im one of em. When summer is over i like to be brown and glowing. Oh yes, im a sun worshiper. lol :-)

18. Free outdoor concerts.

19. Big floppy hats.

20. Dining al fresco.

21. Road trips.

22. The summer blockbuster.
Get thee into the movie theater and pay exorbitant prices for popcorn, drinks and other concessions while watching the film that everybody is talking about which may or may not suck!

23. Trashy novels with no redeeming literary value.

24. Going to the mall simply because its free air conditioning.

25. Birds singing all times of day... and night.

26. Long days.
Today was the longest day of the year ( I still saw remnants of daylight at around 9:15) but even though the days will be gradually getting shorter (sadface.gif) we still have a good bit of time to enjoy the long lazy hours of daylight. What's better than getting off of work at 5 and still having a good 3-4 hours of daylight?

27. Yoga outside!

28. The sound of crickets.

29. Doing nothing all day because its too hot to do anything. And not feeling guilty about it.

30. Lemonade.
Made from scratch. With real lemons. lol.

31. (Extra) Sweet Tea.
Like diabetic strength. None of that weak tea, all bitter on my palate. Gimme sweet, gimme sugar rush, gimme the tummy ache that follows after reckless indulgence. Gimme gimme gimme!

32. Drinking either of these out of mason jars!

33. The sound of lawnmowers.

34. Fresh fruit (in season!)

35. Watermelon.
I know i just said fresh fruit, but watermelon deserves a mention on its own. :-)

36. The night sky.
Summertime is just better for stargazing. Why? Well mainly because you're not freezing your bum off! Its kinda hard to enjoy galactic beauty when youre worried about frostbite. But in the summer? Enjoy to your hearts delight. Or until you've had enough of the mosquitos. lol.

37. Big sexy humidified hair. :)

38. Fireflies!

39. Vintage metal fans.
Remind me of my grandmom. LOVE them.

40 Mr. Softee
This may be a city thing, but where im from, mr softee is an earmark of summer. I may not have patronized one in years, but i still get excited when i hear the familiar mr softee jingle in the neighborhood. Shoot... im kinda jonesin for a cone now. lol

41. Water ice.

42. Cool cotton sheets.

43. Ripe red juicy tomatoes.

44. Summer Storms.
Not to be part of the culture that labels things without sex "sexy" but... i'll be durned if thunderstorms arent like extra sexy. lol. I love a brief summer storm. The feel of the electrically charged air against your skin, rumblings of thunder... the sound of rain against the window... ooh wee! Nature is a beast. A sexy beast!

45. Car rides on the countryside.

46. Spotting random flea Markets during those rides and pulling over quickly, extra excited to look at someone else's crap. :-)

47. Baseball Games.
Baseball is more fun in person.

48. Block parties.

49. Open Fire Hydrants.
Ok so youre not supposed to do this (without city permission) but i wont tell!

50. Summertime naps.

51. Summertime sex.
Its hot, sticky and kinda dirty... but in a good way of course.

52. A fresh pedicure.

53. Tiki torches
I have some of these in my back yard. They are a wonderful accompaniment to those long summer nights.

54. Swings
Few things are as pure a joy as swinging on a swing. Beat it kid!

55. Halter tops

56. Going Braless

57. Pellegrino with lemon/lime

58. No snow.

59. The sound of the sprinkler on lawns.

60. The smell.
Summer smells like freedom. and long weekends. and dreams. and endless possibilities. :-)

Dj Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince - Summertime

THINKING

Thinking...

Thinking...

Thinking...


Back in the halcyon days of my youth, (known to historians and geologists alike as the early triassic) before things like mp3 players, touch screens, 4G, Justin Beiber, and things requiring 1.21 gigawatts existed - i would go to computer class, and type on machines slightly smaller than the eniac. The dark ages of personal computing. My elementary school had a set of Apple IIe computers, and while they were exciting to play with, they were dreadfully slow. Printing (remember dot matrix printers?) took quite a while, and it was nothing for the printer to pause in the middle of the job to "think." The machines were blessed with an "astounding" 1.0x MHz processor and 64kb of RAM (contrast with the current industry standard of at least a 2 GHz processor and 4GB of RAM) and so it makes sense that between input and output there was a bit of... lag. lol.

If i recall correctly, i went through puberty waiting for the printer to complete printing my fifth grade's classroom newspaper.

But my aim is not to provide a written(typed) anodyne caused by wading through the detritous trivia of my past, yapping about my fond memories of Mrs. Skolnick's (my computer teacher from 3-8th grade) computer class. (Making banners was the sure shot though!) Really, all that prelude was to tell you all that im still here, i still consider myself a blogger (albeit a sporadic one) and i hope i haven't lost all my readers to attrition. Im just in the midst of a thinking period, like the computers of yore. Unfortunately thinking does not put up blog entries, which means lag time and the inevitable...

Blog funk.

Its a heavy cloying funk, kinda like this moist air that is around tonight - whose intent, i surmise, must be to threaten and ruin everything for which my hair stands. That funk found in back woods juke joints were everything is close and damp and musty, The funk where the downbeat is amplified and extended and all you can do is just stand there and make that "funk face" because the groove is just so dirty...

That kind of funk.

But despite the funk, i've got a lot on my mind (ooh its juicy too!), and even now, as i compose this, im feeling a writing jones come on. Perhaps the torrents will rush forth this week.

Maybe.

Anyway, until i make my next entry (tomorrow? next week? a fortnight? a month... year?) Humor me and tell me your type. I'll even tell you mine :-)


And when you're done that, put on your best funk face and rock to this:

Lyn Collins - Think

50 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME

A lazy thursday evening exercise :-)

1. im left handed.

2. my first job was at a bakery when i was sixteen. i worked there ONE day. *blink*

3. ..that was also my only job until i finished college (well just about finished.)

4. i get excited when cartoon network has a scooby doo marathon. and sad if i find out i've missed it.

5. i used to be a member of a stepping squad/team.

6. i wore braces. (yep, total brace face/metal mouth.) I still have a thing about smiling as hold over from those days.

7. im the first grandchild of both sets of grandparents.

8. i collect keychains and have one keychain for every country and city i've visited.

9. im the oldest of five children

10. i learned to ride a bike at 12 (one long summer afternoon, at my cousin's house, i decided that i was NOT coming in until i learned to ride. And guess what, that day i learned to ride! :-) One of the proudest moments of my life.)

11. ...but i don't know how to rollerskate. (maybe i'll do that this summer?)

12. im an awesome hula hooper (two and three hoops at a time! ask about me.)

13. in fourth grade i came in fourth place for PA's black history month writing contest. (my mom still has my certificate and ribbon.) I wanted to be in the top three, but considering the hundreds of kids who participated, fourth place isn't so bad.

14. Will Smith is my cousin.

15. When i was a little kid, i had recurring dreams (nightmares) about tornadoes. Since becoming an adult, they've been few and far between, but i still have them. :(

16. Im the neatest sleeper ever. I can sleep through the night and be in the same spot i laid down, the covers having barely moved. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing.

17. I never learned to whistle.

18. In H.S i was fairly athletic. Surprised? lol. I was on the badminton team, field hockey, and tennis.

19. I've since become a sedentary slob.

20. I've never had a broken bone.

21. My Dream Job is working at a book store. Not like barnes and noble, or borders - but an old school bookstore. Wall to wall books, dusty corners... ahh. :)

22. The only physical altercation i've been in is with my brother. I was 14 and he was 12 and we were fighting over who was going to be in control of the stereo. lol. Unfortunately i had underestimated the age at which young men get strength, and in a matter of a few minutes of scuffling, i was down. My first and last fight. lol

23. When i was 18 i rode with my girlfriend to Delaware meet this guy she was messing with. We got to his house, she and the dude disappeared (they went out somewhere) and left me at his crib with a couple of his male friends. We were in a dicey neighborhood, his friends looked a bit scurrilous, and his house was DIRTY and roach infested. Oh... and it reeked of weed smoke. It was really an SVU episode waiting to happen, fortunately the dudes were cool, and i made it back home alive. I never told my parents.

24. The last spanking i got was when i was 12. I had gotten my mom angry (serious because my mom NEVER gets angry) and i was due for some belt-to-booty action. But as soon as the belt hit my behind, my mom fell out laughing and i did too. After we finished with our guffaws, she said it was ridiculous for me to still get a whoopin and that i should be maturing to the point where i don't need one. Then the kicker, how she was disappointed that she felt that she still had to discipline me like she would a five year old. That hurt. Her words made me act right more than any corporal punishment ever could.

25. If i think about about my pet cat Fitzgerald (r.i.p) too long i will cry. I miss him like the dickens.

26. I've thought about getting another pet (cat or dog) but i don't know if i can handle the emotional investment. Losing my cat was seriously one of the hardest things in my life.

27. When im angry, i don't get physical. I use words unflinchingly, and i use them to hurt. Im way better now, but i still have to count before i say something that i can't take back.

28. I live for summer.

29. The most popular girl in my elementary/middle school class requested me as a friend on facebook months ago. She was unkind to me in school. I still haven't added her.

30. Mushrooms on trees FREAK ME OUT. I find them so creepy and they make my skin crawl.

31. I have to sleep with at least a sheet over me. I feel weird and oddly exposed without something covering my body. Even in the hottest of weather. I may kick it off for a moment, but as soon as my body cools off, up comes the covers.

32. I pick up accents quickly. Southern, latino, New Yorker... if im around someone with a noticeable accent, before i know it, i'm sounding like they do. lol

33. For the longest time i hated "Can You Stand the Rain" by New Edition because I heard it on the day i got my period. And for a long time that song made me thing of that awful day. lol

34. I still have and read my babysitter's club and Nancy Drew Mysteries from time to time.

35. I got My First F in 9th grade. Mr. Meroney and his stupid blue books and key words.

36. Im not a big fan of romantic comedies. I tolerate them at best.

37. I've never seen an episode of 24.

38. I stayed up late with my cousin and we sneaked and watched Private School. It was the first time i saw ta-ta's on screen. lol

39. Past urban hang suite - I just can't get into Maxwell.

40. I find Jill Scott pretentious(i loved who is jill scott though), and i die for Erykah Badu.

41. Jill Scott graduated from my High School, as did Bebe Moore Campbell. (author and mother of Maia Campbell)

42. I work in IT but inside of me there is a stalwart luddite.

43. Im seriously thinking of shaving my hair off.

44. My make up collection is in the hundreds of dollars but i rarely wear any of it.

45. I wanted Toni Braxton's first CD so bad, but i was 15 and broke, so i asked my dad to buy it for me and i'd pay him back. I still haven't. :-/

46. Im kinda conceited about my music collection. :-)

47. When i see the word Hors d'oeuvre I have to make myself say it in my head before i say it aloud.

48. I have trouble remembering the correct spelling of words with multiples of the same letter in sequence. i.e: Tomorrow, embarrass, occur...

49. I've walked to the top of the Statue of liberty, twice.

50. I'm a sucker for love.

Evelyn Champagne King - Love Come Down

RIP LENA HORNE

Elegance, class, and beauty.

My first memory of her was in the movie "cabin in the sky." I was around 10 and fell in love with the movie, watching her bewitch Little Joe (Eddie "rochester" Anderson) much to the consternation of his wife Petunia (ethel waters). I was weaned on old movies, and to see a beautiful and BROWN screen goddess enchanted me. I became a hardcore fan.

In fact, i went out and bought her daughter's family biography, "The Hornes." I found it to be an interesting - if self congratulatory - panegyric. (wait, was that redundant?) It provided me with impetus needed to document my own family history (im obsessed with ancestry and family trees and all that) and gave me more insight on the always elegant Lena. I fell in love with her at 10 and 20 years later, the enchantment hasn't faded.

RIP LENA. One of the last of the classy dames. They don't make em like that anymore.

My thoughts go out to her family. I lost an icon, but they lost their Mother.

Aside: LOVE her dress. a few adjustments and i'd wear it today. No lie, i love fashions from back then.

(Harold Arlen composed and wrote "stormy weather" and "somewhere over the rainbow" how come people don't write songs like this anymore? Like actual thought behind lyrics. Is it too much to ask?)

I GOT IT FROM MY MOMMA

...and her momma

... and her momma

... and so on.

The most beautiful word on the lips of mankind is the word 'Mother,' and the most beautiful call is the call of 'My Mother'. The Mother is Everything - She is our consolation in sorrow, our hope in misery and our strength in weakness. She is the source of love, mercy, sympathy and forgiveness and the Mother, the prototype of all existence, is the eternal spirit, full of beauty and love.

-Khalil Gibran

In the spirit of mother's day that is approaching, and the fact that it's throwback thursday, i am posting some vintage pictures (finally getting my photo albums together!) of two of the most important women in my life, my grandmother and my mother. Words cannot express how dear these women are to me, and loved these women are by me. They epitomize elegance, grace and warmth. So large hearted, to a fault even. They are my heart and soul and constantly inspire me to do better and be better.... and to look good while doing it. Or at least try. :-)

I am so blessed to have them in my life.

my wonderful grandmom

my fly momma

me :-)

So happy mother's day to all mothers..and mothers to be! ;) (can't forget about us!), grandmothers, aunts(i feel like my nephew's mom sometimes. lol) ... with or without children... happy mother's day to ALL women who teach the babies! We are amazing, amazing beings, with this enormous capacity to love and thus, be loved. I salute you. And me. :-)


And now a word from Mos Def...

Mos Def - Umi Says