"HER LIPS ON HIS COULD TELL HIM BETTER THAN ALL HER STUMBLING WORDS."

- Margaret Mitchell (GWTW)

Amen and Ashe.

When is the last time you experienced a knee weakening, time stopping, pulse accelerating kiss? That beautiful convergence of physical, mental and spiritual where in that moment, "nothing even matters?" © lauryn hill/d'angelo

The kind where your senses are assaulted at once, but in a good way? Touch, taste, sound, smell.. every inch of you is attuned to this other person. The kind that makes you smirk in silent memory, even among a crowd - because, well nobody knows about that moment but you (and the person you kissed of course) and that knowledge is kind of...exhilarating. You know, in the "iiii've got a secret" vein. :-)

So when was it? Hmm? You don't have to answer here, but if the spirit moves you, feel free.

And... I don't really have a segue for the question. :-)

Anyway, im sitting here with a sore shin, sipping my chai tea (loose leaves because im feeling uppity lol) and hoping the snow -- which is forecast to begin falling within a few hours -- never comes. I want to write, but there is no motivation. Which is weird, because shouldn't the wanting BE the motivation? A interesting disconnect. But, whatevs. Its late, i don't have time to philosophize on all that right thurr.

So now I will take this time to follow in the footsteps of my fellow blogging partners in crime - Rashad and Janelle, and introduce my formspring page. I've had it for a minute, but never considered linking it to my blog until these two lovely (and enterprising) people did it. Now i'm all mizzz me too :-) For those that may be unaware, formspring is another one of those internet memes that seem to happen every six months. Its basically a forum for you to ask a question (anonymously or you can state who you are) to random folks. Very meta, very web 2.0 It may seem a little corny, but i find it fun. And its something to do in those draggy parts of the day when time seems to freeze...

My address is www.formspring.me/lexycon

Ask me a question, and i'll respond. Silly, serious... whatever, i welcome all inquiries. (im really trying to make this sound official ain't I? lol) I might post them here (maybe even vlog a response!) or i may not. But you can always find my answers by clicking the link. And Rashad and Janelle, before labeling me a biter, remember that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. Consider yourselves flattered within an inch of your lives. xoxo :-)

And on that note: I leave you with these two thoughts:

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other. - Rene Yasenek

Fiona Apple - The first taste

SPRING IS IN THE AIR

When i walked out the front door this morning, i smelled spring.

Sure, the thermometer boasted a stingy 36 degrees, my front lawn was still littered with remnants from the last snow storm, the sky was an unappealing shade of gray, and the weather forecast was more a portent of evil than anything remotely springlike. (Another (!) potential storm for the northeast is in the offing.)

Still, the scent was there.

The air felt denser (thought that could be due to the falling barometer), smelled more lush -- fertile even. There was a vibrancy that hadn't been there, say, two weeks ago, when everything just felt dead. This morning there was a quivering of anticipation, as if everything was just waiting for the go ahead to bloom. Even the birds chirping had a little more umph. (mornin', sister oriole!)

Regardless of whatever fury winter has left, she has officially entered lame duck status. The vernal equinox is a-galloping galloping...

So with the subtle seasonal shift, my mood was brightened. Im excited for spring. Spring means warmth and color. It means opening windows, taking long walks and extended daylight. It means sun kissed skin, it means going hosiery free. Spring is a spiritual slough for me, washing away the gloomy scales of winter.

I'm already plotting on a few things to do this spring. Number one is get my vegetable garden on and popping. Im not a lover of dirt, and i haven't green thumb the first, but i loves my veggies and the idea of growing my own is appealing. (Right now i just have an herb garden.) I have a decent sized backyard, (especially for a city dweller) why not try raising my own produce? I won't have to worry about weirdo diseases from poor quality control, and I can feel good about minimizing my conspicuous consumption. Im not even sure what i will plant (what grows around here?) - but i've been bequeathed with tons of seed catalogs (thanks to mom and grandmom lol) and one of these evenings i intend on reading them in earnest, and then ordering.

Secondly im buying a new bike, my current bike is my heart, but i need a new one. Ok, maybe i don't need one, but i'd like one. (The line is so fine sometimes.) I live five minutes away from a beautiful park(which has this awesome unexpected treat hidden in it), and i plan on doing lots of riding in and through on the weekends. I'd like my new bike to be one of these, if not this:

This is a dutch bike by the manufacturer jorg and olif. Hot right? RIGHT? lol :-) Yes, im not one for lots of speed and flash. This bike is very much my style, laid back and understated (with a hint of tchotchke.) I'm not trying to race through life, i want to experience every moment, at my own pace. (read: im boring. love me or leave me alone. lol)

Its also time to start airing out my spring/summer weather wardrobe. Im excited to bring out my sundresses, tank tops, big floppy hats -- and maybe shop for some new things as well. Spring hasn't officially sprung yet, but it's on its way.

Can you feel it - The Jacksons

LIFE'S RULES

I was struggling with writing tonight (i had an invigorating pilates session which left me somewhat brain dead) when i came across this while "watching" the internet. Thought i'd share :-)

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, “I love you”, mean it.
5. When you say, “I’m sorry”, look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt, but it’s the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don’t judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly, but think quickly.When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”
13. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
14. Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.
15. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
16. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
17. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
18. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
19. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
20. Spend some time alone.
21. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
22. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
23. Read more books and watch less TV.
24. Trust in God, but lock your car.
25. Create a loving atmosphere in your home is so important.
26. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
27. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
28. Read between the lines.
29. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
30. Be gentle with the earth.
31. Pray. There’s immeasurable power in it.
32. Never interrupt when you are being complimented.
33. Mind your own business.
34. Don’t trust a man/woman who doesn’t close his/her eyes when you kiss.
35. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
36. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth’s greatest satisfaction.
37. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.
38. Learn the rules then break some.
39. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.
40. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
41. Remember that your character is your destiny.

♥ THIS

(i kinda dug boho common. lol)

Are we living in a dream world?
Are your eyes still green girl?
I know your sick and tired of arguing
But you can't keep it bottled in
Jealousy, we got to swallow it
Your heart and mind baby follow it
Smile, happiness you could model it
And when you feel opposite
I just want you to know
Your whole being is beautiful
Im going to do the best I can do
Cause i'm the best when i'm with you

Come close to me baby
Let your love hold you
I know this world is crazy
What's it without you

Put down your bags love
I know in the past love
Has been sort of hard on you
But I see the God in you
I just want to nurture it
Though this love may hurt a bit
We dealing wit this water love
You even give my daughter love
I want to build a tribe wit you
Protect and provide for you
Truth is I can't hide from you
The pimp in me
May have to die with you


I know what you're thinking, you run my mind
You're right, you're right, you're right
You're running so fast you just might take flight
Hope your not tired, tonight, tonight


You help me to discover me
I just want you to put trust in me
I kind of laugh when you cuss at me
The aftermath is you touching me
It's destiny to we connected girl
You and i we can affect the world
I'm tired of the fast lane
I want you to have my last name



I hope everyone is feeling love(d) this weekend. And rest assured somebody loves you. Yes, even YOU. lol. (whether or not the feeling is mutual is in your hands heart.)

Sorry for the sap, but on occasion even i fall victim to a sap attack/warm fuzzies. :-)


(fun fact: this is a pharrell/neptunes track. *swoon*)

URBAN HUSH

Peace, be still...

There is something wonderfully soothing about the snow. Its nature's tranquilizer, bestowing upon the environment a soothing calm. And in the times we live in, occasionally we need that meteorological shot in the arm. When everything is go! go!! go!!! Active! Active! Active! Do! Do! Do! Snow (in copious amounts at least) forces us to "chill," literally and figuratively. I forgot that just being was as worthwhile an endeavor as being all "i could be. "Newtonian mechanics in the form of hexagonal crystals. Whodathunk?

I can't lie though, a cold blast of "serenity now!" doesn't mean i suddenly like snow. I was not a happy camper upon hearing the news that a new storm was on the horizon. Winter can't be over fast enough at this point. I stopped enjoying snowfalls when i got my first job, which was, oddly enough - during the first ice age. :-P. Snow days are a rarity for working stiffs. The delicate six sided formations lose their charm quickly when a stubborn employer refuses to close the office and forces you to trudge in it. And then it gets dirty and you have this mushy disgusting grey mess and everything is damp and all you want is a 60 degree to melt away all the crap...

I digress.

But last night and today, i found myself enjoying the blizzard that hit mid-atlantic. Well kind of. :-) My loved ones were safe and accounted for, i had snacks, offices were closed, the city had shut down and i had nowhere to go. I had the most precious of all commodities - time. So what did i do? Nothing. At least nothing of any importance. I painted (and reminded myself once more that i am NOT the artist in the family. still - it wasn't that bad. lol) baked (anybody like banana bread? zucchini bread? i am NOT going to eat all this), watched movies, played some video games and listened to music. Things that i don't have to wait for a heavy snowfall in order to do, but the snowfall made them more enjoyable because i was incapable of doing anything else. The time i took to do them was not at the expense of some other (read: more important) activity. I could have done something important, but i didn't, and I was okay with that. The time was mine to be as fruitful (or fruitless) as i pleased.

Eventually i decided to venture outside and take some pictures. I could barely see, the snow was coming down that hard, but the most remarkable thing was how quiet everything was. The regular city noises were muzzled by the layer of snow, rendering an atmosphere so bucolic that even my thoughts seemed loud and invasive. It was if i had been magically transported to a currier and ives scene, or a living snow globe. The landscape had been nearly wiped clean of its regular gaudy shapes, and if i didn't know better, i could have sworn i was in the countryside. The snow even synthesized the street lamps and telephone poles with the trees. Instead of looking like grotesque aberrations, they were almost ornamental. Everything was beautiful, if just momentarily.

Tomorrow the clean up will begin - (i am so sick of shoveling btw. i am a delicate flower! shoveling causes me to wilt! lol) - and i am not looking forward to it. Travel will commence, and the pristine quiet will be disrupted. But today, somehow, the unwelcomed weather was transformed into a welcome respite.

Les Nubians - Sourire (smile)

MELLOW

A song i first heard last week, and has since been in constant rotation. The lyrics are simple, but for some reason... its touching me right _there_.


Georgia Anne Muldrow - Roses

When i'm down, i just draw some roses
On a pretty piece of paper
With my recipe - pen
So halfway through, I feel so much better
I imagine happiness, and it runs right to me, such amazing beauty
You don't have to, cut up no roses
Please just leave them living
Got my pencil, got pretty paper
Please don't worry we're forgiven

I have found, just the perfect feeling
Finally cause im grateful
I can feel your spirit coming closer on me
Ain't it grand, just to be reminded
Reminded of the good things
Living in a new day, that no one can tear down
You don't have to, cut up no roses
Please just leave them living
Got my pencil, got pretty paper
Please don't worry we're forgiven

Got my pencil, got pretty paper
Please don't worry we're forgiven
You don't have to, cut up no roses
Please just leave them living

When i'm down, i just draw some roses
On a pretty piece of paper
With my recipe - pen, pencil
Almost finished, i feel so much better
I imagine happiness and it ran right to me, such amazing beauty...


Georgia Anne Muldrow - Roses

VINCIT QUI SE VINCIT

Or in English: (s)he who conquers, conquers him(her)self.

I'm coming off of an amazing inspiring weekend which means i'll probably be a bit rambly. A thousand pardons in advance of my longwindedness.

So, vincit qui se vincit was my HS motto. It served as sort of motivational tautology - a reminder to us young ladies (i went to an "elite" all girls HS - and to anyone thinking, "oh, that explains everything." shut it.) that often time the biggest obstacle in our lives is ourselves. Of course as a teenager, that really meant nothing to me beyond the occasional arguments of how to pronounce it. (in latin the V is pronounced like a W)

Now that i'm older, the old phrase has taken on a new meaning. "Conquering" myself is one of the hardest battles i've ever waged... and will continue to be. I am only making the attempt because i felt stagnant. As a rule i am way easy on myself. The path of least resistance is full of my treadmarks. But lately i've making the valiant effort to not retreat back into my comfort zone when a situation arises that makes me uncomfortable. Not that my comfort zone was a bad thing, but i've come to realize that i've missed out on a lot by just _staying_ there. Its definitely an effort, but when i do push past my natural inclinations? Pride. Accomplishment. Abject terror. Those two things make the feeling of being battle worn and weary bearable. (i'm a formidable opponent.)

I had the opportunity this past weekend to feel that sense of accomplishment that comes from doing what you thought you couldn't do, when i taught a salsa class.

(ok that sentence was awkwardly worded. any suggestions for more facile phrasing?)

Anyway, veni, vidi, vici. (keeping with the latin theme.) Not only that, I discovered a few things about myself: (well some things i knew already, but yall know what i mean)

• 1. despite my shyness - im good at handling a crowd. And, a decent teacher. Its almost an out of body experience - my inner sasha fierce (sorry for the beyonce reference lol) comes out and i'm watching myself be engaging, instructive, witty, and, dare i say, charming? :)
• 2. I can dance. - I've always poo pooed my skills, because there are so many GREAT salseros, but there were some seasoned men (of the latino persuasion) who were raised on salsa, bachata, merengue - and i kept up with every single one of them. Their compliments meant the most, because i know im not looking like im counting my steps, but rather im just flowing effortlessly with the music. I know. I too am wondering when that happened.
• 3. Something about salsa makes men take liberties (not all of course but A LOT. lol) and i've grown adept at vetoing those liberties in the least embarrassing way possible. lol

I must say that i am proud of myself. :)

Another way of exiting my comfort zone? I met up with the Ex over the weekend. Yes. This was leaving the warm womblike atmosphere i usually dwell in in a big way. Talk about being vulnerable. We have been corresponding regularly since my face "providentially" came across his facebook page (i feel a list coming on about that den of iniquity website) was quite apprehensive about seeing him again. Maybe i was brimming with confidence from my successful run as a dance "instructor", but the insecurities i had leading up to the moment of our reckoning (which i spared you all from by not blogging about) dissipated. But yall don't want to read about my love life (or lack thereof) right?

*ahem*

This weekend i also had the pleasure of seeing Esperanza Spalding in concert. Let me say... she is amazing. My girl crush on her is even more crushier. The woman is just insanely talented. Like it oozes through her pores. She blends her influences together so fluidly... but yet it never manages to sound pretentious or self-aware. Its just good music. She made me want to be a better musician - or should i say, a musician period? lol (im a half a$$ed musican.)If you've never seen her in concert, please make sure you do. Its definitely worth it.

And finally...

Friday was a wolf-moon. You guys know i fancy myself a kind of half-a$$ed astronomer, so i was excited to see it. (shout out to jazzbrew who also was amped.) What's the wolf moon? Well its the brightest full moon of the year, so name by the Natives, because the wolves would howl at it. In a cloudless sky, the characteristic features of the moon are quite prominent to the naked eye. Unfortunately, we were beset with haze which blurred out those features. The sky was crazy bright though, and i imagine that without light pollution it would be even more majestic in appearance. My plan was to get a clear photograph the moon, but the clouds ruined my plans. But, never one to be daunted (much) i braved the teen temps - 1 AM 18 degrees and i was shivering, looking completely insane wtf was i thinking- and this is what i got:

The moon was behind a translucent layer of cloud that blurred its features, but you still get the effect. Its really was a remarkably bright moon. You could definitely see why wolves howl. Shoot, if i had lycanthrope ancestry i might have howled too. It was so crazy bright outside, this picture was not altered at all. This is how it looked at that moment. Beautiful eerie-ness. I thought the naked tree added a layer of visual interest as well. (YES im still dabbling in photography. And im half a$$ed. lol)

Finally my chickadees - Happy february! The month of love (if you get down with V-day) and more importantly, the month before the month of march which is the month in which spring officially begins! (i've never typed month so much in my life) Are you excited? I definitely am. :)

AL Green - I'm still in love with you