His lips is like an oowop...
I can't remember when i first saw this, but i know it was a few years ago. Youtube was still new, and lazy sunday was taking the viral video world by storm:
"its the chronic WHAT? 'cles of narnia!"
True that! double true!
Anyway i stumbled across the infamous booker t gaffe again, and its just as hilarious as it was the first time i saw it. The way he grabs his head after he utters the dreaded word is what gets me. like "oh snap!" And then how chick doesn't have any reaction. (Though i do think her left eyelid fluttered) lol
P.S.
i'm thinking about doing this twitter thing(once i figure out what it is)...any of you guys on? Yall wanna get random with me?
Not that i was going around singing about a dreamlover (or, wanting to) but more along the lines that i had the sudden inexplicable urge to gallivant through tall grasses wearing rolled up cut-offs, chuck taylors, a plaid shirt, and doing a modified bogle. Ok the butterfly too. I think it was the beautiful day that inspired my sudden desire to be extra corny. I mean come on, sunny? 80 degrees? How can you NOT want to frolic? lol
It was so bad that i was choreographing a music video in my head to the music and the participants were those that were walking in the street or driving in their cars. Basically, *you*. Wack i know, but fun nonetheless.
Mariah Carey - Dreamlover
Random thought: i think i want a vintage reel to reel camera. I'm trying to get my bob crane on. *pause*
...Not like that you freaks!
Her poor feet! LOLPart II
(Part I is here)
(For anyone that gave a hoot, the setup™ did not go off this weekend. My girl had something come up at the last minute, leaving me off the hook...for now.)
And now, back to our story:
"Naw." I said. "But I can help you pick out one if you like."
"Ohhhhhh!!!" A's date exclaimed, his right hand formed a fist and rested against his mouth for added punctuation.
"Aww you got jokes!" Glasses was laughing. Good. I hadn't offended him. And even better, i had lightened up what was turning into a forced "sexy" moment.
I reached over the head rest and patted his shoulder.
"I'm just playing!" I said laughing.
"Whatever shun" He brushed me off in mock protestation.
(glasses had new york roots and would pepper his conversation with NY-isms for the remainder of the evening)
We arrived at fridays after spending an interminably long time looking for a parking spot.(if you are relatively familiar with the south street area you know how it is.)
The restaurant was crowded per usual - and our hostess informed us that it'd be a 35 minute wait. A informed us she couldn't wait that long. She needed to eat. Now.
"What about the south street diner?" She asked. "Lets go there instead."
I felt myself getting irritated with her, but i swallowed it. If everyone else was willing to head there, i certainly wasn't going to balk.
At the diner we were seated immediately. As we sat around waiting for our food to arrive, we made the requisite small talk. We began sharing our backgrounds, and seeing as how the other three knew each other for the most part, i was doing most of the sharing. When the guys learned what my major was, their interest was piqued.
"Oh so you're a nerd or something?" A's dude said jokingly between sips of sprite.
I felt my face begin to flush.
"Well..." I chuckled.
A cut across me.
"She's is the biggest geek i know! I'm surprised she doesn't wear a pocket protector! She's like doogie howser."
I looked over at A, surprised. Her words had a mean-spirited, sarcastic undercurrent. She avoided my glance, instead staring at the remaining menu the waitress left with us studied nonchalance. Yep. She meant to be snarky. I looked at my napkin wrapped fork and contemplated stabbing her l.e.i clad thigh with it.
The boys, oblivious to the kind of sideways snark that often exhibits itself among preening females, laughed at her doogie howser comment.
"yo...remember that show? Glasses interjected. "What was his friends name? He was like 45 playing a 16 year old."
We all laughed at his obvious exaggeration, and the rest of the meal passed without incident. I put the fork down. :P
After we finished eating and paying for the food (the boys having picked up both of our checks) We stood outside the diner, wondering what was next. The night was still (relatively) young, and none of us really felt like going home.
"Lets walk over the bridge" A's date suggested. We all agreed.
Somehow between the diner and the bridge we had broken up into twos, A and her date, me and glasses. Natch.
Glasses and I walked for a bit, making idle conversation. I learned he was 22. Pausing at one of the apertures in the safety wall, we peered through the gate, looking at I-95 below. The sound of car engines roared in our ears.
"You have nice hair..." He interrupted the silence. "Is it yours?"
I looked at him, amused. My hair looked like crap, and the humid march air wasn't helping.
"No..." I said apologetically.
"Oh."
"Sike naw." I laughed. "Its mine. What made you ask? Does it look fake?"
"Aww see" he chuckled. "Naw it doesn't look fake, but you never know..."
"Oh" i said. "Well its all mine." And then, so as not to be rude: "thank you." (Sometimes i get so caught up in deflecting a compliment that i forget to say a simple thank you. I suck, basically. :/)
"Yeah...you have pretty eyes too."
"Wow...um thank you."
"...And pretty lips"
"Um..." I say embarrassed by the sudden onslaught of flattery.
I look at him, and his eyes are heavy lidded, weighted down with the burden of a million sexies.
I continued:
"You're just a flurry of compliments aren't you?"
He laughed lightly. My attempt at levity had no effect.
"I like the way you talk...Can i kiss you?" He said, leaning in.
I leaned back, flustered. Glasses was cute, but um no. Besides, I was saving all my kisses for Bryce Wilson.
"Lets find A and _____." I tried, unsuccessfully, to change the subject.
"Why?" "Let me kiss you first."
I backed up again.
"I'd rather you didn't." I said, in my best no- nonsense tone. I smiled sweetly to let him know i wasn't a b-- rhymes with witch.
He grabbed my zipper pull out my hand. Apparently i had been absentmindedly fiddling with it again.
"Don't be shy" He said soothingly. He leaned in once more.
"Dude!"
Yes i said dude. I've been saying dude for awhile, its not just one of those hipster-isms i've appropriated.(though lord knows there's been a few :/)
He looked taken aback by the vehemence in my voice. It occurred to me that i didn't really know this...dude. I mean i assumed he was good peoples because he was friends with my friend, but really. Who was he anyway? My notoriously vivid imagination concocted all kinds of terrible dramatic life changing scenarios.
Unbidden, the words of a three dog night song echoed in my head:
"mama told me not to come..."
Suddenly, underneath the glow of the sodium vapor lamp i saw the faces of A and her beau.
"Hey!" I said, a bit too cheerily. "Where did you guys go?"
"We walked down that way." A said, pointing. At this point i noticed her face; her brow was furrowed and she looked a little more than irritated.
"I'm ready to go home." She added. "I had a long day."
"Yeah me too." A's date said, yawning for emphasis. He began walking in the direction of the car.
There was definitely a weird vibe between them.
I looked over at glasses. He had been staring at me, but when i turned around he quickly averted his glance.
"Yeah i gotta get up early tomorrow, anyway." He, too, had started walking, avoiding eye contact with me. His long strides caught him up to his friend.
I guess the night was over then. We had all turned into farmers. © Elaine
A and I were a few footsteps back. I wrapped my arm around hers.
"Whats wrong?" I said quietly.
She gave me this stank look.
"Why would you flirt with him?"
"Huh?" "Flirt with whom?"
"Forget it."
She pulled her arm loose from mine. We walked the rest of the way to the car in silence.
The car ride home was an awkward one. All was quiet save for biggie's life after death booming from the infinitys (A's date had earlier informed us of the stereo enhancements he had made)To this day hearing sky's the limit reminds me of that early spring evening.
We got to A's house after what seemed like the longest car ride ever. He pulled up and parked. A got out the car without a bye or leave. I had no idea what her problem was, but i couldn't be rude.
I thanked glasses and a's dude for an "enjoyable" evening.
A's dude said you're welcome, while glasses grunted some kind of response.
Ok. Whatever.
I opened the car door, and begin making my way up her walk. The front door was ajar.
"Hold up a sec!" A's dude ran up to me. I was about halfway up the walk.
I paused.
"This is for you" he said, in a whisper. He handed me a crumpled up piece of paper.
Before i could say anything more, he began jogging down the walk.
I stuffed the paper in my back pocket, entered the house, and closed the door behind me. A was in the bathroom, preparing to take a shower.
I sat on her bed, suddenly just as tired as everyone else had claimed to be. I remembered the piece of paper in my back pocket.
Grabbing it, i unfolded it and it read:
"Call me plase?(sic) 215 XXX-XXXX"
I avoided fighting temptations -the movie, i'm still battling my vices, lol- like the plague.
(Oh snap. I just realized the "The" is part of the title. Why? I'm not a fan of random definite articles but, whatever. Maybe its explained in the movie.)
Not watching it was for a number of (not so) valid reasons, most of them having to do with me being a snob, and the fact that beyonce looked like 1992 when the movie was clearly made in 2003 - but i was put on to this little gem, and now i'm *considering* watching the movie if for nothing more than to get context of this song, of which i am now enchanted:
Everything I Do - Beyonce and Bilal
(check @ 3:05 bilal starts to break out in his typical spastic shimmying...lol i love him)
(P.S. For those who are interested i'll follow up yesterdays entry tomorrow)
PART I
One of the most exasperating things about being single is the assumption (right or wrong) that your(my) singleness is an indication of (un)happiness. What makes it so bad is that in some cases there is truth(iness) to the theory, making it all the more difficult for those who are content with their situation to defend their status. You either come off as pitiful, or protesting too much, neither outcome a desirable one.
My girlfriend K called me up earlier this evening with something up her sleeve.
"Hey girl!" She exclaimed when i answered the phone.
"Hey!" I said back, surprised. While i can confidently say she is one of my closest friends, we don't talk all that much. She's over in Jersey (aka no man's land) and while only a bridge, a toll, and three jughandles away, at times that distance seems like an impossible feat. Making our lives intersect is a rare occurrence, so we content ourselves by shooting each other texts and emails as evidence of our mutual affection. Lame i know, but such is life. (Moral of the story? Don't move to Jersey.)
We play catch up for a minute when she gets to the point of her call.
"What you doing this weekend?"
"Oh...a little of X and Y...maybe some Z if i feel like it. Why? whats up?"
"You should come over."
And then:
"I want you to meet someone."
And there folks, is the rub. I could tell she was up to something by the tenor of our conversation, but i couldn't pinpoint what it was. All i knew was that our discussion of bodily functions and reality TV didn't seem to be holding her attention like it normally does.
I sighed inaudibly.
"meet someone?"
"Yeah girl, remember that pool party a few weeks ago? Well i met someone that i think would be perfect for you."
*record scratch*
Before i continue with the rest of our conversation, let me unleash another one of my pet peeves. Why is it that when perfectly single folks meet other perfectly single folks, it never occurs to them to make a love connection for themselves? Its always an unsuspecting friend that is victim to the well-meaning, but often fumbling attempts at match making.
"Perfect for me?" I laugh. "Girl...what about you?"
K is just as "single" as i am.
She laughs with me.
"He ain't really my type but girl we was talking and he was all hype about star wars..."
Star Wars? Ok...i'll give her that. BUT - and its a big but - what did she mean he's not really "her type?" She said it so dismissively too. We are quite different personality wise, but type or not, what is it about this guy that doesn't suit her, but she figures would be "perfect" for me?
I'm wary.
"um.." I say. Star Wars or not, this will be a hard sell.
"Lex, i promise, i wouldn't lie to you! Just a few folks over my house for dinner. You can meet him. I told him about you and he wants to meet you."
Oh see.
I hate to reveal this to you guys - for fear of ruining the image of perfection i surely have evoked in your minds - but i can be extremely obtuse. For no other reason than just because i can. I went from zero to 180 degrees when she said that. Not only does she want me to meet him, but she told him about me already? What part of the game is that? I'm ready to say "no thanks" on principle.
But this is my girl. I must be gentle. No use in hurting feelings.
"I don't know..." I trail off, cursing myself for procrastinating on that excuse rolodex.
"Girl i'll even come and get you, you don't even have to drive. You know you love a blind date."
At the words "blind date" my alarms go off. I've had one experience with a blind date and it was disastrous.
***
I was nineteen. My girlfriend A, was twenty. To A, that year was a chasm of experience and maturity, that i, still a lowly a teenager, could only hope to attain. Still, for reasons unknown, she deemed me worthy of association, and decided to share her wealth of knowledge with me. I found her pretenses annoying, but she was my friend. Plus she had a car.
So she calls me up one friday morning, suggesting that i come through and spend the weekend with her at her house. Maybe we could catch a movie or something. Bet. My life at that point was just a mass of schoolwork, and i welcomed any deviation from the tedium. I cleared it with the parentals, and friday evening i was on my merry way to east giblip, the sprawling black hole of a suburb somewhere between philadelphia and delaware.
As we rode along in the car, she apprised me of our plans. It wouldn't just be us going to the movies, she invited some other people to tag along. Cool.
We get to her house, and immediately change our clothes. I rummage through her closet, and she scours my suitcase, the thrill of a new (borrowed)wardrobe not one to be denied. I asked her when the movie started, in order to gauge how much time i had to flat iron my hair, which had poufed all out. Highway + stultifying car interior + opened windows = brillo pad head.
Thats when she tells me that she's not driving. We're being picked up, and by the way "the other people we're going with are two guys."
Oh.
She gives me the rundown, letting me know that one of the dudes she really really likes, and the other is his friend. She tosses me a bone: "You'll like him." The friend is for me i assume. A is astute in the way only a twenty year old is. By providing me with my own foil she thinks that i won't notice that my presence on this jaunt is just to facilitate a date that her mom would not be cool with had she been going by herself. No matter. I really don't care. At this point i'm more concerned about my hair(its a disease that goes way back) than whether i will like either one of these fellows. I get it to cooperate by hook or crook, and we go downstairs to wait for the dudes.
Its my first(and only) blind double date. I don't recall being nervous. I had no idea how horrible they could be.
They guys rolled up in a gold-ish mazda 626(remember them? lol) and beeped the horn. I thought it was rude, but what did i know? I didn't have time to contemplate it as A was out the door, leaving me and my antiquated notions of decorum in the living room. I hurriedly followed behind her. The two front seats were occupied by the guys so A and i entered the car by the backdoors on either side.
Once settled in the car she introduced me to them. "Alexis this is____ and _____." i don't remember their names. "Hi" I said, suddenly shy. From the backseat of the car, the driver looked kind of cute. Hunching back in the leather, i make a motion with my index finger, "which one is you?" i mouth.
She points to the driver.
Oh.
Well there goes that.
I try to peek at the passenger, but he's sitting right in front of me. He's wearing glasses though. Nice.
There wasn't much conversation on the way to the theater.
We're on that good CPT so we get there late. Natch. The movie has already been on for thirty minutes. We stand in the lobby of the multiplex like a bunch of idiots, at a loss of what to do. I fiddle with the zipper pull of my yellow DKNY jacket (courtesy of my cousin who always had the name brand gear) trying my best to appear cool and unaffected. A's crush comes over to me, taking the zipper out my hand.
"look at you with your dinky." (how dkny translates to dinky i dunno. Maybe it was a philly and suburbs thing?)
His friend joins him.
"yeah i seen that...look at you, fly girl." Glasses grins at me. Ok, he's kind of cute too.
"Oh please.." i say, making some ineffectual gesture with my hand. I'm embarrassed at the sudden attention. I have no idea how to carry on flirty rapport with the opposite sex. I look at my mentor for help. She'll know what to do.
She's surveying the scene, a look not all unlike annoyance on her face.
Uh oh.
She starts rubbing her stomach.
"I'm hungry" she whines. "Lets get something to eat."
Her "date" looks at her, his attention successfully diverted from the mystique of my "dinky" jacket. "What you wanna eat?"
"I want some friday's" She wheedles again, pouting.
"Whatchu want?" He looks at me. "you hungry?"
"Fridays is fine with me...i'm not that hungry though so its whatever."
Glasses chuckles. "Not hungry?" You need to eat. You all little." I look at him. He's teasing me in a complimentary way.
A's date suggests the fridays on south street, (RIP) and we all agree to retrace our footsteps, making the trek back into the city.
The car ride was the start of the awkwardness. It became obvious that both dudes were kind of flirting with me, and it wasn't sitting too well with A. I understood, but what to do? I certainly wasn't encouraging it. In fact, i didn't have the foggiest why it was the case. She was obviously older and more...experienced.
Fortunately she didn't leave it to me. Instead, she employed a standard technique that has never failed when corralling a man's attention: the scintillating subject of undergarments.
During a lull in the conversation, while "absentmindedly" groping her boob, she said - in the worst sotto voce ever:
"i need to get some new bras."
Ok... that was random. Well it would have been random if we had been saying random back then, but we weren't.
...Man i wish we were saying random then.
(sidenote: my mother says random now. How random is that?)
"Oh..?" I said, surprised. Why is she talking about her bra? Wait. Ohh..
"Yeah, girl - they have a sale at victoria's secret, and i'm about to stock up. Lets go there tomorrow." I won't even get into how homegirl was making 8 an hour, and was hardly dropping 40 dollars on one bra. And definitely not more than one.
But, whatever.
And as if on cue, the boys chime in:
"can we go with yall?"
How typical. I try not to roll my eyes.
A, obviously pleased with the turn of the conversation said:
"You wish! " And then: "I don't care, yall could help me pick some out. I need a mans eye."
oh boy.
Glasses: "what about trying them on?"
"Boy please." It was a caress rather than remonstration.
I remember looking out the back passenger window, trying not to gag. The philly skyline rose on the horizon.
Glasses turned around in his seat, looking at me:
"you gonna buy some bras too?"
- Shakespeare; Sonnet 18
I felt *it* this morning. Barely perceptible, wafting over my face like gossamer, gentle yet insistent; a first kiss.
There was a chill in the air.
A chill that roused me out of deep slumber and caused me to reach for the sheet folded at the foot of my bed. In the semi darkness i pulled it tight around my body, willing myself to go back to sleep, deciding to ignore what that chill meant - for the moment.
But tonight, as a cool gentle breeze flows through my opened windows - there's no denying. (It also doesn't help that i'm listening to radiohead, adding to my melancholy. lol )
August is more than halfway over. Summer is still here, yes. The sun was bliss this afternoon, warming the ground to a respectable (and hot) 88 degrees. Regardless, that fleeting chill that caressed me in the morning signified that we are rapidly moving into another season. The sun hits my windows at a slightly different angle in the evenings, setting a little earlier every day. Even the nighttime sounds different.
*sigh*
I'm not ready for fall.
Not that fall is bad. There's the turtlenecks, the boots(hey chubbs!) the tights, the changing leaves, the brisk air as an excuse to wear corduroy and sip mulled cider, and football as an excuse to ogle boy booty - unabashedly. In fact, for these, and a myriad of other reasons, fall is my second favorite season behind summer. Unfortunately its followed by winter.
I'm none to fond of winter - to put it mildly.
Cold dark winter with its short days and long nights, naked trees and icy streets, runny noses and frozen toesies.
Do. not. want.
But, i get ahead of myself.
Its *still* august, and there are quite a few days left of invigorating sunshine and balmy temperatures. Days of homemade lemonade, watermelon and ripe peaches. Not to mention rita's water ice and midnight runs to mcdonalds for soft serve and sweet tea.
Righteous.
Esthero - Country Livin'
Sometimes listening to the radio is worth it. I plumb forgot that i liked this song. I'm mad this was five years ago though. I was such a baby. Where does the time go?
Lil Mo Feat. Fabolous - 4ever
After learning the remedial nature of this blog (see: yesterday), i had to emote. I shed tears, punched a random kid, ate some cornflakes, (without sugar! my version of self flagellation) read norman cousins, (for perspective) and called ja rule(to make sense of all this). Now that my expurgation has taken place, i'm totally focused. Its imperative that this blog lose its elem. status. I don't know who these rating people are, but their opinion is something i hold dear. Not to mention, if i can't prattle on a higher level than elementary school, how in the world am i supposed to land the hunkiness that is Stephen Hawking? With this kind of showing he won't give me the time of day...on NGC224(andromeda galaxy). That man's perspiration has an IQ of 200. And so, project PompousInstitutionalModerne starts tomorrow. This blog will be junior high level or else! Hold on to your butts.
Until then, i figured i regale you guys with a list of some of my current peeves. Its been a while since i've done this, and there's been a build up.
Collectors edition magazines - Are we really supposed to buy every issue? Have the publishers seen the price of gas? Ebony, Vibe and Vogue Italia need to get a grip, stop being greedy, and give to the needy.
Janelle Monae - We get it. You're quirky and cute and making music that can't be easily categorized. Hotness. But, really.
Teddybear back packs - you know the ones that were all the rage in 1996. Remember the one the chick had in LL's hey lover video? Well, I hated them them and hate them now. I know they're pretty much out favor at this point, but i saw a chick rocking one last week. And i almost went into a blind rage.
High heeled sneakers - Remember the chick in LL's hey lover video? Scroll up. Yeah her. Same girl. She was wearing a pair. And in real life my homegirl had some. lol. They had the nerve to have lug soles. It took everything in me not to make fun of her. They were AWFUL. My cousin miguel wasn't as nice. It was cool though. He is one of those good natured folks who is hilarious. He could clown but he was so chill you couldn't take offense. It was good natured ribbing. but back to these sneakers/shoes. Its 2008 and they're still making them. Much to my chagrin.
Brazilian Rhyme - Before you strap me up by my toenails, i LOVE brazilian rhyme. I love it so much that i hate that its so short. I can resolutely say Its one of my favorite interludes evAr but its only like a minute and 30 secs. Maurice what were you thinking? i/we/you need MOAR
Speaking of Brazil, whats with these "brazilian" beauties that are really the progeny of german ex pats thanks to WWII? I mean really. If your surname has an umlaut its should be a dead giveaway. (i see you gisele!)
People who put ketchup on hotdogs. Its grilling season, and as such, i've been a witness to this atrocity. Beyond the age of say...12(and even that is pushing it) ketchup on a hotdog should be considered the vilest of vices. Its disgusting, repulsive and egregious. A hotdog -should you eat them - is a mustard/relish/kraut kind of meat product. Hold the heinz.(Or hunts, if thats your pleasure.) Truly this is some friendship ending behavior. Adults be wary: If you are my chum and i catch you putting ketchup on your weiner(pause), well, we may just have to call it a wrap. I mean, if you'll put ketchup on your hotdog, there's no telling what else you'll do.
White suits for men - never acceptable. ever. Unless your first name is frankie, last name beverly. If you must, please make sure that its made of a respectable (natural) fabric. Wool, cotton, linen. Never polyester. General rule of thumb is that if your suit will melt keep it away from your dermis.
Painted hardwood - a crime unto humanity.
People who can't go more that 50 ft outside of the house without having to go to the bathroom. Now i know that when you gotta go u gotta go(i have stories lol) but SHEESH. If everytime we go out you must the "facilities", - and not for checking your make up or straightening clothes - but to actually use the commode? You need to invest in some poise.
People who don't pronounce the H in Human: So um like i know aphesis is real and stuff, and i am a victim of it in everyday speech( i do pronounce herb - 'erb) but come on. Not pronouncing the H in the word human is just weird.
While we're @ it, people who put an R in sherbet. Its S-H-E-R-B-E-T not S-H-E-R-B-E-R-T. There isn't a second R in the word sherbet. doRk.
The fact that breadstick sauce doesn't come with pizza hut pizza. I'm a greedy lil' somethin and i like to dip my crust in the sauce. But if i don't get the breadsticks then i don't get the sauce. Wack.
Hand washables - an extra step i don't need in my life.
People who qualify the word "unique" -most unique, extra unique, very unique. There are no degrees of unique. Unique is absolute. If you feel compelled to use adverbs with unique, maybe you should find another word.
I've been a bad, bad girl
I've been careless with a delicate man
And it's a sad, sad world
When a girl will break a boy just because she can
Don't you tell me to deny it
I've done wrong and I want to suffer for my sins
I've come to you 'cause I need guidance to be true
And I just don't know where I can begin
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love
Heaven help me for the way I am
Save me from these evil deeds before I get them done
I know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand
But I keep living this day like the next will never come
Oh help me but don't tell me to deny it
I've got to cleanse myself of all these lies 'till I'm good enough for him
I've got a lot to lose and I'm bettin' high so I'm begging you
Before it ends just tell me where to begin
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love
Let me know the way
Before there's hell to pay
Give me room to lay the law and let me go
I've got to make a play
To make my lover stay
So what would an angel say the devil wants to know
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of looooooooooooooooooooooooooove
Yeah yeah yeah uhh uhh uhhhhhh...
Hey hey hey haaayyyyyyyyyyyyy yeahhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhh hiyee ehhh...
Or: Why the internets rock my world.
Surfing is always a source of boundless joy. You never know what you're going to come across. Sometimes its 2G1C, - which i've never seen and never will - and sometimes its this:
The first lucid thought i had upon awakening this morning?
"I'm glad i don't shave."
I had one of the worst nights of my life last night, sleep wise. I rocked out about quarter to twelve, and woke up about an hour/ hour and a half later, completely awake, but not refreshed. You know when you wake up but you feel all trembly and disoriented and stuff? That was me. It was a bizarre amalgam of restlessness and lethargy. Neither of them gave way to the other, so i sat up bleary eyed, and watching the clock tick tock its way through the night.
I finally dozed off again, around 5 but by then it was just about time to get up to begin another day.
A day that thankfully didn't begin with the act of shaving. That would require too much thought and effort, and don't need blades around me when i'm in such vulnerable state. That kind of concentration would largely be at odds with the stupor that began this morning, and yea, has extended until this very moment. Of course my underarms are teetering dangerously close to granola but a shirt with long sleeves solves that problem. If you're a guy you gotta shave, unless you're trying to go mountain man, or you're a dude sporting that K.M.D.
I'm so tired yo. lol. I probably shouldn't even be blogging. Given my extreme ketosis(oh the drama), i reckon i won't make much sense.
...forgive me if it goes astray ©
Sidenote: Don't you love it when people come over to you like:
"are you tired?" "you look tired."
Folks always trying to be the barometer of someones energy level.
do you really think i didn't notice the steamer trunks underneath my OWN eyes?? Haters.
Two people said this to me today, with mock empathy. What they were really thinking was "hoe, you busted!" Its ok though. I appraised myself in the mirror and knew that i was rocking that "death destroyer of worlds" look. I comforted myself with the thought that if there was to be a crowning of miss netherworld today, i'd surely win!
:/
Anyway i was wondering today - during the coherent moments that peppered my catatonia - like...how long am i going to be on "the web". Will i still be blogging at 45? Will my myspace, facebook (or whatever is the new new)still be poppin? Can you outgrow the the internets? I think its permanent. Like my parents generation with telephones. My great great grandmother thought they were unnecessary and newfangled, and until the day she died, when she needed to use the phone she'd walk to her next door neighbors house, and make an awkward phone call. (Believe it or not placing a call requires a certain finesse.) However my mom's generation grew up with phones and can't imagine life without them.
Speaking of aversions, my mom is the same way with email that my great great grandmom was with phones. I've set her up with THREE personal email accts that she refuses to use. And because of their disuse they are either deactivated, or she forgets her login or password. And when she needs email, she tells folks to send it to my address. SMH.
Anyway, i think thats what the internet is gonna be too. An expected medium of communication. I'll probably never "log off." :/ Whatchall think? Yalls aim screennames gonna be rappingranny4u2nv and poppopfrumuptheblock1979?
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