...AND SOMETIMES I ANNOY PEOPLE

I like making people talk in their sleep. Like if you fall asleep around me, be careful - cuz i just may start conversating wit yo somnolent behind.

Case in Point:


Me: "Its late...i know you're tired. Why don't you just go to sleep?

Him: "Nah...i'm good. I'm awake"

Me: "You've been yawning non stop for the past ten minutes. Just go to sleep."

Him: "I told you I'm awake. *loud yawn* Besides, yawning *another yawn* doesn't signify that you're tired...you know why we yawn right?"

*Interrupting a possible 20min dissertation on yawning*

Me: [laughing], "I believe you. you're not tired."

Him: "Thank you."

Me: *sticking out tongue* "You're welcome."

We fall into silence...i'm flip through a magazine for a few minutes.

Me: "Oh yeah i remembered what i wanted to tell you..."

Him: "Bill Cosby."

Me: "huh?" What's Bill Cosby?"

Him: *unintelligible mumble* "...it should be two TVs"

LOL this dude is sound asleep. I knew he was sleepy. Why didn't he just admit it?? No matter. I try to coax a convo out of him.

Me: [Stifling laughter], "What about Bill Cosby and the TVs?"

Him: "I want to get a TV"

Me: Cautiously so to not disturb the delicate balance of slumber, "Why do you want to get a TV? What about Bill Cosby?

Him: "I think so"

Me: "Which one?"

He starts stirring and I realize he's waking up, so I try to get one last inane response...

Me: "You're gonna buy the TV when we go to great adventure right?"

Him: "yeah..." He's about to finish his thought(if you can call it that) When he pauses.

Uh oh. The jig is up!

Me: [Innocently], "You were saying...?"

Him: *Slight chuckle* "shutup."

Me: *dies laughing*

Him: "Shutup lex!"

Me: "But its so cuuuuute!"

Him: "I'm going to bed."

Me: "I told you to an hour ago!" *Laughs Harder*

SIX THINGS THAT ANNOY ME

PEOPLE.

There's no human being more overrated than a person. Really. The biggest threat to humanity is humans. Everytime I go out, I see people. I have to work with people. People under the stairs. People in your neighborhood. Everyday people. People Everyday. Barbra Streisand's People. People Magazine. And the worst? A Person with P.O.V. Yes folks, the dreaded disease hailed by an acronym.

Point. Of. View.

We rub shoulders with people with P.O.V everyday. Sometimes we don't know they have a P.O.V, and that ignorance is bliss. At other times however you are able to see that the P.O.V is in its advanced stages. A person with P.O.V isn't content to have the disease and suffer alone. No. They spread their dreaded P.O.V until everyone around them has their own version of the original. It self replicates and before you know it, everyone you come into contact with it has a P.O.V. Is there a cure? Sure. Its called silence. So simple...yet most refuse to practice such self control. It wouldnt be so bad if people weren't so annoying. But...they are.

I may marry a person, but i'm not gonna like it.


POTTED MEATS.

I see you spam eaters. And what I see disgusts me. What exactly is that stuff anyway? With a description like "meat product" its anybody's guess. For all we know its soylent green...and Soylent green is made of bullet casings and Charlton Heston's fatty deposits.


GRAND GESTURES.

We get it. You love her. She puts up with your bad credit, hammer toes, and your dirty apartment. She caters 2 U, and cares for you when you're sick. She pretends to like your mother. Basically she's the one person in 6 billion that can stand you. BIG WOOP. Does it really call for an elaborate proposal with fireworks, the goodyear blimp, and a trained gibbon? "But," you say to me..."she's crying. And she said yes!" WHATEVER. She's crying because you just did more damage to your credit with this charged extravagance(do you know what gibbons cost these days???) And because she was forced to say yes, lest she embarrass you in front of the witnesses to your gaudy spectacle. Take it from me, getting rid of the pit stained undershirt,(i don't care how "clean" it is) putting on clean socks say more than any jumbotron could. Do that, and you'll get a yes from the heart. BELIEVE ME.


DRAFT ANIMALS

These have got to be the some of the ugliest animals on earf. Donkeys? Mules? Percheron? DICK CHENEY? For every pound of strength they got two pounds of ugly. And thats the truth.


MILQUETOASTS

If you don't stand for anything, you'll fall for everything. You know why you'll fall? Because you have no spine. Think of all the invertebrates on the planet. from the amoeba to the snail, they make up over 3/4 of the earths animal species. So if you are wondering if you're a milquetoast...you probably are. And you annoy me.


JOSH HARTNETT

Need I elaborate? I'm not sure what annoys me more, his career...or the fact that he has one at all.

BRASS TACKS.

I won't pretend that I intend to stop living
I won't pretend I'm good at forgiving
But I can't hate you
Although I have tried
Mmmmm
I still really really love you
Love is stronger than pride
I still really really love you
Mmmmm

I won't pretend that I intend to stop living
I won't pretend I'm good at forgiving
But I can't hate you
Although I have tried
Mmmmm

I still really really love you
Love is stronger than pride
I still really really love you
Mm mm mm mm mm

Sitting here wasting my time
Would be like
Waiting for the sun to rise
It's all too clear things come and go
Sitting here waiting for you
Would be like waiting for winter
It's gonna be cold
There may even
Be snow

I still really really love you
Love is stronger than pride
I still really really love you
Love is stronger
I still really really love you
Love is stronger than pride

OMARION AND BOWWOW

I can't imagine any girl over the age of ten taking these dudes seriously.

Their stature alone is enough to send me into fits of laughter. What are they? 5'3?

I won't front though Touch by Omarion is still my jammy jam. *gratuitously chest pops*

Anyway this is newest release from the oompa loompas

oh yeah and can we kill the "air keyboard" playing?? I swear if i see one more video where the star does this...

Bow Wow & Omarion- Girlfriend