TIME OUT.

So over it.

Today I had one of my increasingly regular id vs. "cruel reality" mashups. This time i was musing on the fact that:

My youngest brother is 18, my sister is 23(married with a kid!), my middle brother is 25, and the brother right beneath me (that's right there are five of us) is 29. Yours truly is over 30... BUT not by much. lol. (that not much is soo important to me lol)

We's getting old. And by "we" i mean "me."

A few weeks ago i was talking to my baby brother about Allen Iverson and how nobody in the NBA seems to want him.

"I don't understand, he's still got talent. what's the problem?"

My brother in his 18 yr old wisdom, summed up the situation:

"He has talent but he's old! He wants to be marquee, but he can't. His days, sadly, are over."

"Wait... Allen is what? 34? 35?"

"yeah."

"that's old??

"Yes!" (oh to be 18 again and to be blissfully ignorant that its only a few restless nights, and long work days until you wake up looking 30 square in the face. lol)

He then looked at me and my raised eyebrow and realized his error. Though not the same age as Allen, (i'm a few years younger. just putting it out there) I am in the same age group. According to the laws of proxy - He had just called me old.

"I mean... old for a basketball player, not old in general."

Nice try at saving, but the damage is already done. Bredda.

But its not just about A.I. and his career trajectory.

Its about my newly developed concern about my *ahem* "regularity." Activia anyone? Prunes? Five years ago the state of my dumps was a non issue. But here I am blogging about it. And by blogging about it i am freely admitting i have dumps. The horror! Have I no shame?

It about how i no longer pale at the thought of getting into a line with a male cashier when it came time to buy "feminine products." Then? i'd search till i found a woman. Or not buy it at all. (yes yes i was a wimp.) Now? Please. I get in line with the smallest amount of people. And if a male is at the helm, so be it. Speed > Embarrassment. Now ring up my jumbo pack kotex. (what? it was a sale!)

Its about how nobody asks me if my name was inspired by the vixen-ish character on Dynasty anymore. The show is long over, Alexis Carrington and her conniving ways are a relic of yesteryear. My name, and the image it conjures up, is no longer is au courant. (For the record, my name was NOT inspired by the show - I was born before it came into existence. My momma is original!) But that information doesn't really matter because all of it is old news. I'm old news.

Its about how guys who are my age and who play sports are the veterans on the team. How my aforementioned brother asked me if i remember when Howie Long used to play football, and not just be a commentator. Its about how when i said yes, how it was like i said i remember the first telephone call. Its about how Troy Polomalu is still in his frikkin twenties!

Its about how my (same) brother's 17 yr old friend had a terrible crush on me, and kept asking about me, annoying my brother in the process. My brother finally told him how old i was (without my permission might i add lol), his response? "I didn't know she was that old!" :(

Its about how that hurt my feelings. Not that i was even the least bit interested, but it was like dang. DISSED! But then i remembered what i thought of people who were my age when i was 17. They were old.

Its about how enjoy looking in furniture stores and antiquing more than clothing shopping(though not by much). How home depot and Lowes are like totally fun place for me to be.

Its about how my nephew will only know Michael Jackson the same way i know Nat King Cole - a brilliant artist, but only a memory.

And so this evening i've been feeling a little ancient. The chill in the air has caused a bit of miasma to set in. But i'm not feeling blue i don't think, just contemplative. Earlier this morning i was commenting on how it felt like a school day. You remember. That first week of school where everything was new and exciting, the promise of reconnecting with old friends, and meeting new ones, the thrill of comparing rosters and hoping you got the good lunch period (at my HS it was 5th) the nervousness that comes with a new crush, and the excitement of new school books. (or was that just me?) This morning had that feeling. Of course, me being me - that thought followed its natural path, which led to thinking about getting older. You know how water seeks its own level? Well i'm like that, except everything goes back to age. Sad i know. Anyway i was thinking about how long ago i was in school. HS? Over ten years. Elementary and Jr. High? I'm not gonna even go there.

The years are accruing, and it ain't gonna stop.

Its about how i've seen fads come and go, and through it all i'm still rocking leggings and t-shirts and taking horrible pictures.

The more things change the more they stay the same I suppose.


Teena Marie - Aladdin's Lamp