QUEENS REPRESENT, BUY THE ALBUM WHEN I DROP IT

-Extra P

If you know like i know, then i know that you know that that whole verse was majorly dope, and that the last line was like cream cheese icing on an extra moist dopeness cake.

So yeah I was listening to midnight marauders today and realized that this is one of those rare albums that i can listen to all the way through - no skipping. Even if i do skip, its not because a particular track sucks. It just means my train ride or car ride is almost over and i want to hear one song before i have to turn the music off.

I can't say that about many albums, which is why i began digging in my memory for other gems that -in my book- are perfect. Joints that you can listen to all the way through, and don't have those "wtf?" moments that have you reaching for the remote. I thought of a few, and here they are:

My definitive, but by no means all inclusive - list of perfect albums:

(Off the top of my head and in no particular order)

- What's Going On - Marvin Gaye
My parents had the lp and whenever I was able to sneak and listen to the record(my dad did NOT want his vinyl scratched), I'd stop after side A was done. Don't ask why. Laziness? Or maybe i was ready to listen to something else. Whatever the reason, it wasn't until I was about 16 that i decided to flip over to the other side and find out what it was talking about. Wow. I was sleeping. And when i finally got grown to afford it on CD, and was able to listen to it front to back with no flipping in the middle is when it dawned on me what exactly Marvin had accomplished. This album is a seamless masterpiece.

-Minnie Riperton - Perfect Angel
This record was THE soundtrack when i was growing up. My mom bought the album right before she got married, and after she got married and started having kids, it was still in heavy rotation. Minnie's vocals are sublime, and a welcome aural break from the powerhouses and vocal histrionics that permeate the airwaves today. The one thing that strikes me about her voice is how clear it is. You know how mariah has the range, but she has that throaty gravelly thing going on? Minnie's voice is the audio equivalent of waterford crystal. Featuring production from Stevie Wonder, this album is short, sweet and beautiful. No filler and absolutely perfect.

-Stevie Wonder-Innervisions/Fulfillingness' First Finale
I tried and tried to pick which one of these albums i preferred over the other. But...i couldn't and gave up. These are both stand out pieces of art, and from a catalog as vast and accomplished as Stevie's thats saying something. Depending on where your mind is at the time will have a bearing on what you're in the mood for. If you'd like a little more introspection and political awareness - go with innervisions. If you're feeling a little more romantic go for fulfillingness. Either way you can't go wrong.

:: I know a lot of folks think that Songs in the Key of Life was his perfect album but i don't agree. While it has some great cuts, its ambition makes it wayy too long and meandering.

-Anita Baker - Rapture
This album makes me think about traveling in the family van down south. Every summer we'd make the 600 and some-odd mile sojourn. Well after this album was released this became one of the trip's soundtracks.(along with daddy's oldies mixtapes and nat king cole) My dad borrowed his friends record, and dubbed a copy on memorex. That poor tape was used and abused from 85 until about 92, which is when he finally bought it on CD. From the opening drums on "Sweet Love" to the rousing outro on "watch your step", this album is a remarkable piece of work from the songstress. With her ole mash potato voice.

-Michael Jackson-Off The Wall
Need I explain? Yeah, thriller may have sold more copies, but IMO this is/was the superior album. Don't get me wrong, I love thriller to pieces - but whats coming close to the one two punch of Don't stop til you get enough and Rock with you? Whats more fun to sing along to than the title track? Don't you wanna dance after hearing get on the floor? I can't help it has the beauty of warm summer breeze. Can you deny the catchy-ness of its the falling in love? Who doesn't want to burn a disco out? Michael was on point on this one forreal.

-Sade -Stronger than Pride/Love Deluxe
Another two-fer. Is that cheating? Hm...Who cares? Its my list! lol Forreal though this is another group of albums that i can't pick my favorite to save my life. Stronger Than Pride is one of my favoritest songs ever. Which should give the edge to that album. But, "I couldn't love you more" is like a hot bath after a long day of work, so sensual and relaxing;

I wouldn't wanna lay/ or ever love/with another

A great great song. Both of these albums i can listen to straight through, and i do. Often. I guess if i HAD to choose(on some "pick now or your firstborn is dead" status), i'd choose love deluxe. The reason? It has a better album cover.

-Black Sheep - A wolf in Sheeps clothing
The first rap/hip hop album I *owned*. Not borrowed from a cousin or a classmate. I saved up my little pennies and bought this little ditty. Mr. Lawnge's beats, Dres' lyrics and their playful misogyny(oxymoron?) made me a fan. The skits had me dying.(l.a.s.m anyone?) Strobelite honey gave me insight into club hijinks @ a time when i had no idea what went on in a discotheque. La Menage was...yeah. I haven't listened to it in years so maybe my fond memories are failing me and its not a perfect hiphop album. But - if it isn't, it sure is close.

-The Roots - Do You Want More?!
Quest was fat(ter), Black Thought had dreads. Malik B was smack free(i think). Scott Storch was still the nerdy Jewish kid. I know a lot of folks will argue me down saying that Illadelph halflife or even TFA is a better album, but not to me. This is the quintessential Roots album. Every track is dope, and Malik B(factoid: his fam lived down the block from me @ my childhood home and i know his sisters very well.) Malik Badded that little bit of something that the roots are missing these days. The other albums are good, dope even. But nothing's coming close to the mellow smoothness of DYWM.

Miles Davis - Birth of the Cool
Let me preface the following by saying: I love jazz. BUT, i am by no means a jazz head. What i do know about jazz is from my brothers, an ex boyfriend and ken burns*drumkick* (thanks folks, i'm here all night). They're the jazz heads. I'm sure there are albums which may be considered more perfect in the jazz world, perhaps an album by Miles Davis. That being said, this is a jazz album that i absolutely adore. There was a period of about a month when I would pop this cd in @ work and just have it on repeat all day long. Yes, it was that serious. Its so adult, so chic, so refined, so...cool.

-A Tribe Called Quest - Midnight Marauders
We all know about the MM vs. LET thing, and i'm not going to even get into that. They both are superb albums. But unlike Fulfillingness/Innervisions, i have no trouble deciding which one i like better. Midnight Marauders all the way! The tour guide concept was brilliant. From Steve Biko to God Lives through, this one's a winner.

De La Soul - Stakes is High
"Sick of swole head rappers with their sickening raps" Yo. The first time I heard this track, I was in love. And not just with Dave aka Trugoy the Dove. I mean I was a fan of De La since the daisy age, and 3ft high will always be a classic -but it wasn't until Stakes is high came out that they really hit a chord with me. My girlfriend had the cd, and whenever i spent the night over her house we'd often find ourselves getting gussied up with this CD as background music. Everything about this album is dope. And while their catalog is awesome, If you could only own one of De La's albums, I'd recommend this one.

Erykah Badu - Mama's Gun
I bought this album a week after it came out, and sat on it. Bag Lady(the remix) was getting rotation on the radio but the version on the CD wasn't the same. The first track on the album was some kind of rocker crap. I was pissed. What the heck did i waste my 18 dollars on?? My sister got her hands on the CD and once she heard it, begged me to give it another chance. I did, and the rest is history. This album is her "whats going on" minus the overt feeling of protestation. I can't believe i slept so hard. Penitentiary philosophy(the rocker crap) is phenomenal. The dilla produced didn't cha know is like butta. A.D. 2000 is BEAUTIFUL. I prefer the album version of bag lady now. Times a wastin' is inspirational. Green Eyes is... Green eyes is Erykah's Opus.

My mind says move on/My heart lags behind...

just make love to me/just one more time and then you'll see/i can't believe i made a desperate plea/what's with me...

yeah. I was sleeping. Yeah baduizm was good, But Mama's gun was indescribable. It embarrasses me to think that i wrote it off so quickly.


So...thats it for now, since this is off of the top I'm sure there are others, especially from different genres. I may come back to this topic if i can think of others "perfect albums". Until then...thats my story, and i'm sticking to it.

I ALWAYS KNEW I'D NEVER BE FAMOUS...

Because there are no videos documenting me as a youngin'.

You ever notice that all famous people have video recordings of them when they were little kids? It doesn't matter if they were children in the 1980s or in the 1910s. The video exists. I'm watching Docs on these old singers and actors and i'm like "it was the great depression...who the heck had the money and time to record ray charles plucking a piano???" All these rappers and sangers who grew up penniless? Doesn't matter. There is some kind of motion picture featuring them doing...whatever.

So this entry was really gonna be about my weekend, which was pretty awesome. But as usual, i got sidetracked by my own mental sidebars. Sad.

Speaking of sidebars, i'm blogging with a face smothered in vaseline. The things we do for beauty. What??? I know yall know petroleum jelly is a great moisturizer. I slather this on at night, wakeup in the morning and wash it off. I highly recommend.

Don't do this with your good pillowcases though. Unless you like greasy silhouettes imprinted on them.

Oh yeah for added moisture i also do an oatmeal mask. its gross and disgusting and i totally like to threaten folks with a kiss when im wearing it. Its great.

But yeah where was I? My weekend.

My fam had a little thing for my uncle who just got married(more like eloped) and to formally introduce the bride to us my richie rich grandma threw an impromptu reception for him(remind me to get in her good graces lol). About a hundred people. It was nice. I tried out my red lipstick which was a hit. Unfortunately i eat lipstick so about an hour into the thing it was all but gone. :( My grandma decided to have a pig there(we eatz pork in our fam) so she went down to the italian market and ordered a whole pig for the guests. lol it was interesting. Seeing it almost made me wanna go vegetarian. Almost. I had to snap a picture though.

Wilbur? Noooooo!

What else.

I know i've gone on diatribes about hipsters, but i kinda want some huge glasses. Not cazals though. But the kind my mom rocked back when i was little. Pearle by Pearle vision. I'm trippin i know. But i think that'd be hot. I dunno. I'm just trying to edge up my look a little. Plus I look cute in glasses. Despite the fact that i don't need them. 20/20 vision here baby! Does that make me a poseur because i wear them simply for the look? Don't answer that.

I finally ventured into American Apparel this past weekend. Hated it! That store is an exercise in ugly. From the sickening lighting, to the brightly colored clothes, the austere accoutrements and the nausea-inducing music. I felt like a total idiot. I wanted to do a grandpa simpson as soon as i walked in but...i chilled. © I didn't want to judge to quickly. Unfortunately my first impression remained unchanged as i browsed the aisles. Some things were cute. But...they just weren't me. Tons of lycra and spandex and other synthetics. Lots of unisex fashion. I dunno. Everything was very trendy.They had cute t-shirts though. I bought one. And i bought a pair of socks. Other than that, i just felt very unhip and had to apply 40 ccs of jcrew to get rid of the icky. But at least the American Apparel spell was broken. Their guerilla marketing almost made me got nutzo and order the whole collection online. Phew!

FOOTBALL IS THE GREATEST SPORT IN THE HISTORY OF EVAR...

Football is so freaking awesome. What other sport can have an upset like the one tonight? Ok i'm sure there are others but they don't matter. We're talkin football here! The giants were the underdog of underdogs. Brady and Co. Had a 17-0 record. All signs pointed to them as the victor. But the little engine that could - Eli Manning - said, "no way jose. We're gonna take this." And take they did. And tonight in the U.S.of.A there are a great many people united and content in the demise of the mutually loathed New England Patriots. I said i was going to bed as soon as i got home, but I'm like forget it. I'm too amped after that freakin AWESOME superbowl. Seriously. My voice is a little froggy and my head hurts from all of the hootin' and hollerin'. You couldn't have asked for a better game.

The shot(and subsequent catch) heard 'round the world

Some observations:

-Whenever a group of my peers get together and watch sports, the chicks and dudes usually segregrate themselves. Tonight it was no different. All of the wives/girlfriends/babymommas were in the kitchen clucking while the menzes were watching the flat screen. It wasn't until halfway through the second quarter that I realized this. I was the only girl in the livingroom with all of the dudes. I felt weird for a bit, but then i shrugged it off. I didn't come to cackle and gossip. I came to watch the game.

-I think dudes are surprised that I know as much about football as I do. Or that i actually like football. For gameplay. Not just for glute gawking. Of course i'm not expert on the sport, and I don't pretend to be. I'm not above asking why a certain call was made, or what certain terms mean. I don't do it in a ditzy way though, cuz thats not cute. I also don't overcompensate for being a woman by trying to dazzle the boys with my all encompassing knowledge of the game. That's not cute either. I'm just a girl who likes football for the game. And the glutes. :)

-Madden has made every man a football coach. In his imagination. Because of madden, every dude is an expert on every play. Ever made. Its cute and endearing in an annoying "shutup or i'll box your ears" sort of way. Cuz like, i want to hear what the commentators are saying. You know the guys who are paid to talk through the game about the game, during the game -not your stankin behind. Unfortunately I can't because the armchair QBs won't shutup. Every dude wanted to out "coach" the other. And if i hear the term "flea flicker" one more time...

-I don't eat much when I'm out. Who knows why, but I always lose my apetite. I drink like a fish though. I had 4 cans of soda this evening. :(

-Leaving lip balm @ home will drive a sane Lex crazy(look im referring to myself in 3rd person!) I left my carmex home, and almost had a hissy fit. I started digging through my bag looking for it, in vain. No carmex. No vaseline. No nothing. Once i ate and drank off my lipgloss, i had to deal with dry lip for the rest of the night. Ugh.

-Tiki Barber. When the game was over, and after the collective shouting jumping and yeahhhs died down, my boy was like:

"yo...what about tiki?"

and collective group of male voices and, my soprano responded with:

"yooooooo"

It was amusing. It was like we all took an impromptu moment of silence for #21. Poor Tiki. Saltiness is never ever fun.(And no matter what HE says, you know he's salty.)

-The Giants aren't my team, but until next season starts, I'm on their bandwagon. Hard. I've always been a fan of Eli, but now I have such great respect for the rest of the cast and crew of the Giants organization. They played a serious game. My hat is off to them. Of course, after the season starts I'll be back to hating them. This time with begrudging respect though.

-I don't want to, but I feel bad for Junior Seau. Goshdarn Howie Long and his Interview with the man! All that backstory and struggle talk about Jrs. long career almost made me root for the Pats. Almost.

-All those folks that say that Superbowl Sunday should be a Nat'l holiday, with an observance on the following Monday? I agree with you.

TONIGHT'S DA NIGHT© FUNK DOC

February 1st yall

Yes Yes Yall

Spring is on its way yall

I hope we don't get no mo' snow yall

Now that i've "yalled" yall to death, lets move on


So yeah tonight its all about me me me me me © mya

I'm gonna do the whole spa @ home thing. Wash my hair, do a deep condition and the whole nueve. Do my nails, epilate mah legs. All the girly crap I balked at when i was 13. Maybe order in some Sushi or something. Hit up the local blockbuster and rent a movie. I don't think i've seen this and as a fan of the film noir genre, i'm always looking for new goodies.

(Sidenote: Don't you hate when you think you haven't seen a movie and rent it or whatever and realize about 20 minutes in that you indeed HAVE seen it? That mess sucks. Especially if you saw it and "hated it!" © toine. It even happens with TV. I was watching murder she wrote the other night and was all settled in for a good hour of cheese and 80s makeup until I realized that i had seen that ep before. And it was a corny episode at that. What a letdown. I was like traumatized for an hour.)

Also...its black history month. I always hated this time of year when i was in elementary school because it meant that i was going to be bombarded with assignments. Research so-and-so. Give a report on such-and-such. And then we always had a play, which everyone had to participate in. So being the shygirl i'm is, i wanted to lay in the cut, but i couldn't. Scary times.

But yeah, my point? Well, I got black in me. And i love history. In keeping with february's theme I'll probably be interspersing my regular prattle with some topical black history stuff.