♥ THIS

(i kinda dug boho common. lol)

Are we living in a dream world?
Are your eyes still green girl?
I know your sick and tired of arguing
But you can't keep it bottled in
Jealousy, we got to swallow it
Your heart and mind baby follow it
Smile, happiness you could model it
And when you feel opposite
I just want you to know
Your whole being is beautiful
Im going to do the best I can do
Cause i'm the best when i'm with you

Come close to me baby
Let your love hold you
I know this world is crazy
What's it without you

Put down your bags love
I know in the past love
Has been sort of hard on you
But I see the God in you
I just want to nurture it
Though this love may hurt a bit
We dealing wit this water love
You even give my daughter love
I want to build a tribe wit you
Protect and provide for you
Truth is I can't hide from you
The pimp in me
May have to die with you


I know what you're thinking, you run my mind
You're right, you're right, you're right
You're running so fast you just might take flight
Hope your not tired, tonight, tonight


You help me to discover me
I just want you to put trust in me
I kind of laugh when you cuss at me
The aftermath is you touching me
It's destiny to we connected girl
You and i we can affect the world
I'm tired of the fast lane
I want you to have my last name



I hope everyone is feeling love(d) this weekend. And rest assured somebody loves you. Yes, even YOU. lol. (whether or not the feeling is mutual is in your hands heart.)

Sorry for the sap, but on occasion even i fall victim to a sap attack/warm fuzzies. :-)


(fun fact: this is a pharrell/neptunes track. *swoon*)

URBAN HUSH

Peace, be still...

There is something wonderfully soothing about the snow. Its nature's tranquilizer, bestowing upon the environment a soothing calm. And in the times we live in, occasionally we need that meteorological shot in the arm. When everything is go! go!! go!!! Active! Active! Active! Do! Do! Do! Snow (in copious amounts at least) forces us to "chill," literally and figuratively. I forgot that just being was as worthwhile an endeavor as being all "i could be. "Newtonian mechanics in the form of hexagonal crystals. Whodathunk?

I can't lie though, a cold blast of "serenity now!" doesn't mean i suddenly like snow. I was not a happy camper upon hearing the news that a new storm was on the horizon. Winter can't be over fast enough at this point. I stopped enjoying snowfalls when i got my first job, which was, oddly enough - during the first ice age. :-P. Snow days are a rarity for working stiffs. The delicate six sided formations lose their charm quickly when a stubborn employer refuses to close the office and forces you to trudge in it. And then it gets dirty and you have this mushy disgusting grey mess and everything is damp and all you want is a 60 degree to melt away all the crap...

I digress.

But last night and today, i found myself enjoying the blizzard that hit mid-atlantic. Well kind of. :-) My loved ones were safe and accounted for, i had snacks, offices were closed, the city had shut down and i had nowhere to go. I had the most precious of all commodities - time. So what did i do? Nothing. At least nothing of any importance. I painted (and reminded myself once more that i am NOT the artist in the family. still - it wasn't that bad. lol) baked (anybody like banana bread? zucchini bread? i am NOT going to eat all this), watched movies, played some video games and listened to music. Things that i don't have to wait for a heavy snowfall in order to do, but the snowfall made them more enjoyable because i was incapable of doing anything else. The time i took to do them was not at the expense of some other (read: more important) activity. I could have done something important, but i didn't, and I was okay with that. The time was mine to be as fruitful (or fruitless) as i pleased.

Eventually i decided to venture outside and take some pictures. I could barely see, the snow was coming down that hard, but the most remarkable thing was how quiet everything was. The regular city noises were muzzled by the layer of snow, rendering an atmosphere so bucolic that even my thoughts seemed loud and invasive. It was if i had been magically transported to a currier and ives scene, or a living snow globe. The landscape had been nearly wiped clean of its regular gaudy shapes, and if i didn't know better, i could have sworn i was in the countryside. The snow even synthesized the street lamps and telephone poles with the trees. Instead of looking like grotesque aberrations, they were almost ornamental. Everything was beautiful, if just momentarily.

Tomorrow the clean up will begin - (i am so sick of shoveling btw. i am a delicate flower! shoveling causes me to wilt! lol) - and i am not looking forward to it. Travel will commence, and the pristine quiet will be disrupted. But today, somehow, the unwelcomed weather was transformed into a welcome respite.

Les Nubians - Sourire (smile)

MELLOW

A song i first heard last week, and has since been in constant rotation. The lyrics are simple, but for some reason... its touching me right _there_.


Georgia Anne Muldrow - Roses

When i'm down, i just draw some roses
On a pretty piece of paper
With my recipe - pen
So halfway through, I feel so much better
I imagine happiness, and it runs right to me, such amazing beauty
You don't have to, cut up no roses
Please just leave them living
Got my pencil, got pretty paper
Please don't worry we're forgiven

I have found, just the perfect feeling
Finally cause im grateful
I can feel your spirit coming closer on me
Ain't it grand, just to be reminded
Reminded of the good things
Living in a new day, that no one can tear down
You don't have to, cut up no roses
Please just leave them living
Got my pencil, got pretty paper
Please don't worry we're forgiven

Got my pencil, got pretty paper
Please don't worry we're forgiven
You don't have to, cut up no roses
Please just leave them living

When i'm down, i just draw some roses
On a pretty piece of paper
With my recipe - pen, pencil
Almost finished, i feel so much better
I imagine happiness and it ran right to me, such amazing beauty...


Georgia Anne Muldrow - Roses

VINCIT QUI SE VINCIT

Or in English: (s)he who conquers, conquers him(her)self.

I'm coming off of an amazing inspiring weekend which means i'll probably be a bit rambly. A thousand pardons in advance of my longwindedness.

So, vincit qui se vincit was my HS motto. It served as sort of motivational tautology - a reminder to us young ladies (i went to an "elite" all girls HS - and to anyone thinking, "oh, that explains everything." shut it.) that often time the biggest obstacle in our lives is ourselves. Of course as a teenager, that really meant nothing to me beyond the occasional arguments of how to pronounce it. (in latin the V is pronounced like a W)

Now that i'm older, the old phrase has taken on a new meaning. "Conquering" myself is one of the hardest battles i've ever waged... and will continue to be. I am only making the attempt because i felt stagnant. As a rule i am way easy on myself. The path of least resistance is full of my treadmarks. But lately i've making the valiant effort to not retreat back into my comfort zone when a situation arises that makes me uncomfortable. Not that my comfort zone was a bad thing, but i've come to realize that i've missed out on a lot by just _staying_ there. Its definitely an effort, but when i do push past my natural inclinations? Pride. Accomplishment. Abject terror. Those two things make the feeling of being battle worn and weary bearable. (i'm a formidable opponent.)

I had the opportunity this past weekend to feel that sense of accomplishment that comes from doing what you thought you couldn't do, when i taught a salsa class.

(ok that sentence was awkwardly worded. any suggestions for more facile phrasing?)

Anyway, veni, vidi, vici. (keeping with the latin theme.) Not only that, I discovered a few things about myself: (well some things i knew already, but yall know what i mean)

• 1. despite my shyness - im good at handling a crowd. And, a decent teacher. Its almost an out of body experience - my inner sasha fierce (sorry for the beyonce reference lol) comes out and i'm watching myself be engaging, instructive, witty, and, dare i say, charming? :)
• 2. I can dance. - I've always poo pooed my skills, because there are so many GREAT salseros, but there were some seasoned men (of the latino persuasion) who were raised on salsa, bachata, merengue - and i kept up with every single one of them. Their compliments meant the most, because i know im not looking like im counting my steps, but rather im just flowing effortlessly with the music. I know. I too am wondering when that happened.
• 3. Something about salsa makes men take liberties (not all of course but A LOT. lol) and i've grown adept at vetoing those liberties in the least embarrassing way possible. lol

I must say that i am proud of myself. :)

Another way of exiting my comfort zone? I met up with the Ex over the weekend. Yes. This was leaving the warm womblike atmosphere i usually dwell in in a big way. Talk about being vulnerable. We have been corresponding regularly since my face "providentially" came across his facebook page (i feel a list coming on about that den of iniquity website) was quite apprehensive about seeing him again. Maybe i was brimming with confidence from my successful run as a dance "instructor", but the insecurities i had leading up to the moment of our reckoning (which i spared you all from by not blogging about) dissipated. But yall don't want to read about my love life (or lack thereof) right?

*ahem*

This weekend i also had the pleasure of seeing Esperanza Spalding in concert. Let me say... she is amazing. My girl crush on her is even more crushier. The woman is just insanely talented. Like it oozes through her pores. She blends her influences together so fluidly... but yet it never manages to sound pretentious or self-aware. Its just good music. She made me want to be a better musician - or should i say, a musician period? lol (im a half a$$ed musican.)If you've never seen her in concert, please make sure you do. Its definitely worth it.

And finally...

Friday was a wolf-moon. You guys know i fancy myself a kind of half-a$$ed astronomer, so i was excited to see it. (shout out to jazzbrew who also was amped.) What's the wolf moon? Well its the brightest full moon of the year, so name by the Natives, because the wolves would howl at it. In a cloudless sky, the characteristic features of the moon are quite prominent to the naked eye. Unfortunately, we were beset with haze which blurred out those features. The sky was crazy bright though, and i imagine that without light pollution it would be even more majestic in appearance. My plan was to get a clear photograph the moon, but the clouds ruined my plans. But, never one to be daunted (much) i braved the teen temps - 1 AM 18 degrees and i was shivering, looking completely insane wtf was i thinking- and this is what i got:

The moon was behind a translucent layer of cloud that blurred its features, but you still get the effect. Its really was a remarkably bright moon. You could definitely see why wolves howl. Shoot, if i had lycanthrope ancestry i might have howled too. It was so crazy bright outside, this picture was not altered at all. This is how it looked at that moment. Beautiful eerie-ness. I thought the naked tree added a layer of visual interest as well. (YES im still dabbling in photography. And im half a$$ed. lol)

Finally my chickadees - Happy february! The month of love (if you get down with V-day) and more importantly, the month before the month of march which is the month in which spring officially begins! (i've never typed month so much in my life) Are you excited? I definitely am. :)

AL Green - I'm still in love with you