MOTIVATION

LOVE the Kim.

A few things:

We are the same height.
We are the same weight(or...will be. once i figure out how to control my need for sweets)
We are both brunettes.
We both have big....families.

(btw BOTH is a weird word. say it five times in a row and see if i'm lying)

I was lazy today, ready to scorn my workout, but its pictures like these that remind me what physical heights i might achieve with a little bloodsugarsexmagik.

MY THINGIE NEEDS A WHATCHAMACALIT

The internet is killing my attention span. I'm not sure when it started happening, but its driving me to distraction. (tee hee. i made a funny!) Tonight, after my workout, i decided that i would sit for an hour, and just READ. I love to read. Reading is what I do. To know me is to read me. Me and books are besties, and oh how i have neglected them. So tonight for an hour, no external stimulation. No tv. No radio. No internet. No phone. Just me, myself and i. Oh, and the book.

I curled up in the wing chair with a lightweight blanket draped across my lap and opened up "cloud atlas." Cloud atlas is a book i've been trying to read for about a month. I took a sip of chamomile, got all snuggly, and for approx five minutes i stared @ the words, ostensibly reading - but not really.

My mind was wandering.

JCrew is having its final sale, and if i don't hurry and buy the dress i really want my size will be gone.

Speaking of dresses, my grandparent's 60th anniversary gala is coming up and i have nothing to wear. I am going to hate myself if i wait until the last minute. Oh i guess i could lose abt 5 lbs too.

My hair is a hot mess, i need to wash it, but i'm too lazy tonight. i'll just throw it in a ponytail tomorrow, its supposed to rain anyway.

I should check my myspace page, its almost a month since i've been on that thing, i wonder if i've gotten any new requests.

omg is that a mosquito? ugh i should twitter that a mosquito is in my house..

Oooh its almost time for dancing with the stars, i wonder how kim kardashian will do tonight. She was kind of stiff last week and her song choice was terrible but...

*shakes head, tries to go back to reading*

- Thursday 7th November

Beyond the Indian Hamlet, upon a forlorn strand, I happened on a trail of recent foot prints...

Hm what am i going to wear tomorrow? transitional season dressing is such a chore. Is it too early for boots..?

Wait, I'm doing it again! WTF is up with my attention span? i need to blog about this...

So now i'm here, blogging about it. Its sad you guys. There was a time when i would devour a book in a day or two. Not a namby pamby book either. I'm talking the heavy hitters with upwards of 600 pages in smallish print. Now? I get distracted even reading a magazine (Except for Allure and US weekly go fig.) I was never an ADD kid, so its like, how did i unlearn how to focus on one thing at a time? I need answers. The internet always has answers. So i started googling(while composing this blog. see i can't even do THAT without distraction.) Apparently i'm not alone.

Stephen Colbert recently had a guest on his show who was talking about the potential deleterious effects of web 2.0. The guest was Nick Carr, and his book is "the big switch". He got little time to really expound on his theory - this was the colbert show after all - but from what i gathered, he may be on to something. According to blurbs i've read, his book espouses the idea that computers have fundamentally changed the way the common man thinks. Now that might elicit a "duh" from most people, but i think there's more than the obvious implications of that statement. Speaking for myself, there's a marked difference in the way i process information, from say, even as recent as 2000. In 2000, i still was dialing up. i wasn't on teh IMs and i wasnt well versed in teh googles. :( See? But its more than than typing in leet and thinking in soundbytes. My thought process mimics the way i use the internet: a million tabs and windows open, thoughts rarely completed before a new one arises, always parsing. I realize that multitasking can be beneficial, but at some point enough is enough. All those things at onece means that something is going to fall by the wayside. Anyway i'm going to purchase his book to see what he's talking about. Meanwhile, its back to cloud atlas. I'm not going to let the temporary lapse get the best of me. but first, let me see what banana republic's sales are looking like...

LIL WAYNE IS CAPABLE OF LUCID PROSE?

Well bust my buttons! © Emerald City Doorman

The Patriots aren't going to be fine. I expected this to happen even before Brady got injured. I've been skeptical for a while now. They lost their drive. They used to go out there and crush people, playing good football every Sunday. You could see when they were winning how great they were playing, how hard they trained and how disciplined they were. But then it became about 'who is this person dating' and whatever, and that's when I thought this would happen. I'm not going to say they're distracted because they're professionals. But when it becomes about all that other stuff it does take away from just going out and playing good football.

- Lil Wayne on the patriots

ESPN has given weezy a blog. Mhmm yup. While its dubious that few people could have blessed the listening public with gems such as:

"Call me Mr. President or call me Mr. Ever Care or Mr. Everywhere or Mr. Never Care or Mr. Never Scared",

"I make her feel right when its wrong like lying"

or the hall of famer: "wobbledy wobbledy"

- I am surprised that anybody would want him to "write" for like...serious. But you know what? I read his musings, despite my misgivings, and to be honest, they weren't half bad. He's nowhere near as polished as my homie RM, but thats to be expected. What's so amusing is the image of Mr.Carter behind a desk, sipping on sizzurp while pecking away at the keyboard. His english was decent even. I'm amazed that he had subject verb agreement, AND he used the proper spelling of "they're". If he was assisted in his writing, they did a great editing job. His paragraphs had nice rhythm, the grammar was decent, but just enough errors were left to make it seem authentic. Then again, maybe it was authentic. Maybe thats just my snob surfacing; assuming that he isn't capable of articulating his thoughts. No one knows who Wayne really is behind the posturing, fronts, and promethazine. Perhaps, with a little training he could become a great sports writer. It was kind of nice to see this softer side of Wayne, like it made him seem a little less, i don't know, INSANE. He blogs with heart. Basically what i'm trying to say is that i think i'm falling in love with him.

SELECTIVE BOURGIE-NESS

As most of you have gleaned by this point(you being my two or three -generous i know - readers) i am somewhat of a snob. Now, now, before anyone begins judging me harshly, let me first give the disclaimer that i'm not a hardcore snob. For instance, i would never get offended if someone thought i lived below sunset(thats if i lived in cali) and i would never say with disdain: "do you KNOW who my father is???"

(i watched clueless the other day and now my cup runneth over with quotes)

The fact of the matter is, i'm too broke, too unconnected, and well, too mannered to put on those kinds of airs. Not to mention, yo soy muy amable. :)

My selective snobbery comes to play in little things, like judging folks by the way they hold their utensils. I had a coworker who held her fork, spoon, knife with a closed fist. YES. If you're picturing mikey from the life commercials, you're on the right track. Only I DIDN'T like it. Believe me, watching her use utensils was extremely distracting. It was like her motor skills never progressed beyond the age of five. Gross.

Speaking of motor skills...what about those people who hold their pens and pencils at the very point? I cannot stand that. It seems like it should make your hand cramp. Then its like how did you get through 12 years of school and four years of college AND NOT BE ABLE TO HOLD A WRITING INSTRUMENT CORRECTLY??

Yes, i'm a snob, i'm bourgie, i'm pedantic about those kinds of things. Hate me now.

So today, i happened upon a discussion today about buffets. It was during this discussion that i realized i don't feel the same way about a buffet that i do about say...Red Lobster. I'm way less pretentious. A buffet is not my first pick as far as dining is concerned, but i'll tear up the food from one in a minute.

Obviously red lobster has a few things going for it or else it would have gone out of business. There's the cheddar bay biscuits, the...the...the..cheddar bay biscuits, and um...well...ok. Let me stop. The seafood is tasty for what it is. Enjoyable comfort food in herman melville inspired decor. Well then whats the problem? I think its because red lobster is marketed as part of the upper echelon of chain restaurants, and its clearly not. I mean for what it is its decent, but there are so many other seafood places that have GOOD seafood at the same price.

In elem school, i'd hear about kids going to Red Lobster for birthdays and other special occasions. In those days my parents weren't hardly trying to take five kids out to a restaurant. We were more of a order in than dine-out bunch @ that time, so i never got to experience RL in all its mythical glory. By the time i reached HS red lobster had become the go to spot for all the hot dates. You know, 16 yr old shaniqua and her 22yr old(don't tell my mom!) boyfriend were going there for their 3 month anniversary. In my mind that Red Lobster was a classy dining establishment. Unfortunately, when i finally went - i was disappointed. I expected more.

At a buffet though, there is no pretense. You come to get all you can eat for a set price. This is not five star dining, its five stone dining (meaning you'll be approx five stone heavier when you leave) Good old honest overeating, and really who can be bourgie about that? I can't. Although i'd appreciate it if parents would curb their kids while dining. There's nothing worse than getting up to get another piece of baked chicken or more salad, and seeing some grubby kid with his(or her) nasty fingers all over the serving tongs. Running through the islands like they have no home training. Yuk.

Anyhoo, speaking of overeating, i also learned today that Golden Corral is a buffet! Who knew? I have passed signs for that restaurant so many times while driving on I-95 its not even funny. I never gave it a second thought. Of course i went straight to the website, and by the looks of their menu the next time i'm near one i will be smorgasbording.

And then its like, i LOVE cracker barrel. I will plan road trips by cracker barrel stops. While waiting to be seated i browse the country store, and during the winter months i'll request a seat in front of the fireplace so i can eat my country fried steak in front of a friendly flame. Asking for extra biscuits and cornbread. No shame in my game.

*blink*

Pretty much.

I don't get it either.

(P.S. As you probably noticed, i changed my layout, i wanted something even more minimal and clean. what do you guys think?)