DETOX (and other randoms)

Happy new year everyone! Ok, i know im uh... 20 days late, but belated is better than never right? Besides, its still January, which means the year is still new. So, like i said, Happy new year! :-)

I brought in the new year with a detox. My second in sixth months. Around oct of 2009 i did a detox with my homie Mr Synchronicity. That was tough, but at least with that detox, we could eat food (though just fish). This time around i detoxed with my mother and we went the juice only route. I really have no idea why i agreed to that. I totally love juice, and it doesnt get better than freshly made juice, but juice for breakfast lunch AND dinner? No bueno. There's an ecstasy that comes with chewing your food that sipping just can't replace. Still, I was good. No cheating, though i almost had a breakdown passing a McDonalds. Ever pass Mickey D's on an empty stomach?? IT SMELLS LIKE HEAVEN! Forreal. It smells better than grandma's sunday dinner even! On the strenf!

Fortunately I came to my senses. If i was going to cheat, i wasn't going to do it with McDonalds! I'm would go to go to Ruth's Chris at least! ...Okay Okay, chipotle.

Anyway.

We began our journey by drinking some bentonite clay (yum!) which acts as a sponge and attracts toxins out of the intestinal tract. That disgusting part was on Sunday before last. On Monday we started drinking freshly made fruit/veggie juice concoctions. Accompanied by lots of water.

This detox is allegedly kicked off the new year by "purifying." I don't know how pure i feel now that its all over, but i definitely do feel "interesting". I feel lighter in spirit and in body but that could be due to electrolyte loss. lol. Is this what nirvana feels like??? Somebody pass the gatorade please.

Speaking of the New Year, how is everybody on resolutions? If you follow this blog (and its mobius strip style content) you know i don't do resolutions per se. Still, its always good to bring in the new year with renewed focus and intent.(nevermind that you're gonna lose it by the time february comes around. lol)

here are a few things i will continue to focus on this year (and the rest of my life):

1. stop expecting people to read my mind.
2. stop avoidance and procrastination
3. learn to ask for help.
4. Curtail my negative thoughts.
5. stop freaking out about getting older! (this is a hard one. lol)
6. stop being (inwardly) petulant
7. stop making it about me.

See there? I've just listed all my biggest flaws to yall. Don't judge me! I'm naked and i'm ashamed! (pretend you don't see the cellulite mmkay?) I have my mother partially to thank for this list. She is not only my biggest cheerleader, but she also gives it to me raw. (albeit in the most wonderful way possible) we have been hanging out a lot more recently, not only do to our detoxing, but because she took on the role of my chauffeur. (i had a "vehicular incident.") During one of our heart to hearts (remember that TV show?that was hart to hart though...) i was going on and on and being really sorry for myself (bring out the violins), And while she got at me for being so down on myself "Nobody talks about my daughter... not even you!" She also was inspiring. As usual. The dual role of comforter/motivator. Do they hand out tips in the mom handbook?

So what else?

My Ex™ contacted me. Yes, that Ex.™ Thanks to the "miracle" of facebook, he saw that i was a fan of the same person he was. He didn't request me as a friend, but instead sent me a message. After getting over the initial shock of seeing his name in my inbox, im not going to lie, my first inclination was to be cold and calculating to him. I mean, im still smarting over the offhand manner he treated me the last time we talked. I didn't deserve that. But, i'm a lover not a fighter, and i'm no good with grudges. I don't relish being on the outs with anybody. I get mad, but i don't stay mad. A strength and a weakness. I won't fake though, I still cringe at that last phone call before this recent correspondence. Anyway, to make a long story short, he's going to be in town for business at the end of the month. He said he thought about me (duh. of course you thought about me. im the ish!), but since he didn't have my contact info, he put it out of his mind. But seeing my name pop up randomly on a facebook fanpage convinced him it was providence (is that so? lol). A thousand thoughts are running through my head (and i'll spare you them all) but needless to say... this is quite an unexpected development. I have no expectations though. At least that's what im convincing myself. lol. Next weekend should be interesting. I would say I dreamed him in existence, but that dream was over a year ago. Then again, if my dreams have a year turn around time... i should be becoming a billionaire very shortly...

Speaking of next weekend, Next Friday i will be teaching salsa. Yes, you read right. I'm no salsa teacher in the strictest sense of the word, but i've been at it long enough to show amateurs a thing or two. What started out small has turned out pretty big and i will admit to being QUITE nervous. Its a volunteer effort, which takes some of the pressure off (i'd be terrified if people were actually paying for it) but still, im quite anxious. As you can see, next weekend will be a doozy.

While we are on the topic of my "action" packed next weekend... Sunday the 31st is Esperanza Spalding day! As you may or may not know, i am an Esperanza Spalding groupie. Oh yes. Even more so since i've started my Bass lessons. She is one of my muses (yes i have more than one). One of my new bass playing friends and I are going to see her in DE. I've never seen her perform before (in the flesh anyway - i've devoured everything on youtube) so i am major amped. Not to mention she's also going to be performing with Cassandra Wilson in March. This time it will be in Newark NJ, but i am seriously considering going to that too. hat's what groupies do right? lol. (Shout out to the homie Rashad for sharing this info which would have escaped my notice otherwise!)

And finally... i am going to Brazil! for a person that doesn't make vacation plans until last minute (if that) this is huge. Now i have a reason to learn portuguese...and the samba :-)

Esperanza Spalding - She got to you (Where was this song when i needed it?? lol :-/)


I swear i've written this lyric, if not in pen, in heart...
Now, I'm a bit confused
Cos what I felt
I thought was true
Did she barge in
And steal your heart away?
Or did you know
From the first day
I was just someone to play?
If so, damn that's cold

10 OVERRATED FILMS

The lists continue.

In addition my renewed dedication to the trivium, (the latin term that references the three paths of learning in "classical" education: grammar, logic and rhetoric - and also serves as a foundation for the quadrivium: astronomy, music, geometry and arithmetic) as a way of mental exercise for the new year, (my mantra is "Don't be dim in 2010!") I have also decided to counterbalance my inner-ascetic, and do something purely for the mindless joy it brings: movie watching. I honestly haven't seen that many new films. Even blockbusters. I go to the movies on average perhaps twice a year. I know some folks who are in the theater every weekend. I have fairly large personal movie library, but i still watch the same movies over and over. (and if you know me you can probably guess what they are.) I'm trying to change that. Its no fun when you're around people who have seen the latest flick and you can only smile and pretend that you know what the heck they're talking about.

Which brings me to the point of this entry. As I check off movies that i hadn't seen but are finally watching, I've realized i haven't missed much! Some are worth the accolades, but a LOT are not. Its making me glad i haven't wasted ducats seeing them in the theater. In honor of these duds, here is a list of movies that have received way more kudos than was necessary. In fact, if they weren't so hyped, i may have enjoyed them more! Anyway, here is the list 10-1. (one being the MOST overrated)

10. Pretty Woman - I have no idea why this movie gets so much love. I'm going to go with the idea that its was on the strength of the looks of the main characters, because the story was just ok.

9. Psycho - I am a Hitchcock junkie. Yet it pains me that this is the most talked about film in his catalog. Its definitely a good movie, and nail biting at times, but its NOT all that.

8. Schindler's List - Ok. Sacred Cow time. I enjoyed this movie. I love period pieces, and i'm a sucker for WWII history. HOWEVER. This movie was NOT the be all end all that it was toted as. I was in HS when it came out, and it was required watching for my AP history class. I saw it (i wanted my A) but it just didn't move me like it seemed to move other people. Perhaps I need to watch it again.

7. 2001 A Space Odyssey - You're supposed to LOVE this movie. Its Kubrick! Its artsy. Its weird. I'm artsy and weird so this should be a match in filmakers heaven. NOT. This is one of those films that i wanted to like because it seems like everyone else does. But when i finally sat down and watched it, i was left confused. Just why is this movie so lauded? Its boring. Maybe im just not intellectual enough. The first half hour is better than any sedative.

6. The Lion King - Yep, i said it. No i'm not heartless. I know a lot of folks love this one and might take this personally. lol. Remember this list is about OVERrated movies. So yes, the lion king was good. The Lion King was NOT great. In my opinion Aladdin is the superior film.

5. Close Encounters of the third Kind - Maybe it would have been better without Richard Dreyfus, but fresh off the success of Jaws, he was box office gold. I want to like this movie because i'm a fan of spielberg (see: my star wars and indiana jones obsession) but it just doesn't work for me. The first 3/4 of the film is taut with suspense. But the final act just falls flat. After all that drama all we learn is that aliens dig synthesizers???

4. The English Patient - Japanese water torture on celluloid. YAWN

3. Monster's Ball - I guess there was a story here, but i couldn't find it. Halle is a beautiful woman, but only a so-so actress. Billy bob was effective, though not showstopping. The film's conceit - that two people who would otherwise never cross paths, develop a mutual need for each other through tragedy, is under served. There's a story to be told, but the story tellers just aren't doing it. And then there's that sex scene...

2. Forrest Gump - This movie is essentially "the wonder years" on steroids... only a lot less interesting. Lots of cool special effects, but special effects does not a GREAT movie make. Was Forrest a man or a superhero? And the life is like a box of chocolates was one of the worst metaphors of all time (of all time! *insert Kanye here*)

1. Titanic - Titanic is the correct word here, as the movie collapsed under the weight of its own "importance." In the case of the Titanic(the ship), we knew how the story ended. It was the director's job to tell it to us in another way, make it fresh and new. We are eternally fascinated with the titanic because of its incomprehensible, almost eerie demise. However, in the film, the actual sinking of the ship was kind of an afterthought. Instead, the focus was a stale romance boasting the familiar archetypes: the rich girl who falls in love with the artsy, free spirited boy. Throw in some mediocre dialogue, capable special effects(which look a bit dated now) and a power ballad, (Heart will go on is easily one of the most annoying songs EVER) and you have this Oscar winning, waterlogged mess. The actual ship sinking was more of a backdrop for what amounted to a feature length version of your favorite soap opera.

So what say you? Agree? Disagree? Any you might take away? Any you might add? (oh and if anyone mentions Gone With The Wind Or Star Wars i will personally hunt you down and do very very bad things.)

THE DECADE IN REVIEW 2000-2009

(the good, the bad, and the oooh i forgot about that!)

So, im at a point in my life where im thoroughly unoriginal, so i figured i'd jump on the bandwagon and do a review (by way of list, of course) of the past decade. Oh, and spare me the lecture of how "its technically not a decade until 2011, because there is no zero year...blah blah blah." We all know that. Don't we? No one came here for a treatise on the gregorian calendar anyway, and if someone did, i'm sorry to disappoint.

Anyway, here is my list of some of the most noteworthy things to have happened in the 10 years. Some things are only relevant to me (it is my list after all) others are on a worldwide scale. The list is in descending order, number one being the biggest event to happen in the past decade. Happy New Year!

50. sushi - for YEARS i refused to even try sushi. My argument? "I refuse to eat raw fish." Well since then i have mended my ways, and now i go HARD for sushi. And then i had the nerve to learn that the word sushi isn't even referring to the fish itself. Sushi is the vinegared rice. lol. What an idjit. Talk about eating crow! In fact I could go for some now... (sushi that is. not crow.)

49. high speed internet - WTF did we do before broadband?? I entered the decade still on 56k. Im leaving it with cable, and hopefully fios soon... whenever it gets to my neighborhood. lol. But yeah. It wasn't a big deal though, because the internet still was pretty new. But then I discovered...

48. napster - In 2000, before the dark times... before the empire, I discovered this little website called napster which can only be likened to musical crack. Every song I ever wanted was on there, and did i mention that it was free? Free before the copyright nazis got to it.

47. college graduation - y2k baby! I didn't think i'd make it. Here's the thing about me, Im a good student, but a lazy student. Good grades have always come easy for me, so I rarely if ever applied myself. Well this pathetic work ethic almost had me sitting at the sidelines come graduation.

46. the 80s - The 80s came back in style in the 2000s and though i grumbled initially... i eventually succumbed to its siren song. Frankie says what?

45. social networking - I can only speak for myself, but there is a singular thrill in see classmates that were all that back in the day, and realizing that being an early bloomer isn't what you thought it was.

44. First serious relationship - Yes somebody actually owned up to being in love my black a$$. lol.

43. getting engaged - And yes that somebody actually wanted to marry me! I know, its hard to believe. :-)

42. Elian Gonzales - What happened to dat boy?

41. puerto rico! - My first trip out of the country with my girlfriends, and it will always hold a special place in my heart. They have fine men there too. Aye Papi!

40. mexico! - tequila shots, senor frogs, sterling silver, ancient pyramids, snorkeling... and a bad case of montezuma's revenge. LOVED it!

39. italy! - Ciao Bella! The men like brown girls with big hair. At least the men i encountered. Very flirtatious, and they can make homeliest girl feel like halle berry. Oh, its beautiful too.

38. Cell Phones - My dad and my brother both had a cell before I did. Yep, the self-proclaimed technophile was late on the celly-bandwagon. Now that i have one I can't imagine what I'd do without it, especially since i cant stop...

37. Texting - Texting is one of the greatest inventions in life. You can have private convos in public. (just don't be rude please.) I've said this before, i text more than I talk (on the phone.) Texting tapped into the Mavis Beacon that lives inside of me and gave her wings. I cant fathom having a phone without a qwerty, and a plan that doesnt include unlimited texts.

36. Youtube - The first thing i saw on youtube was SNL sketch, "Lazy Sunday" (Its the chronic WHAT? 'cles of narnia) Since then, I can't think of a day i haven't visited the site, looking for random stuff... and i find it. Movie scenes... shoot, whole movies! Old school videos, basically, if you can think of it, its on youtube. And then there is the whole youtube celebrity thing...

35. You got pierced where? * Ahem*

34. AOL instant messenger - My BFF Ryan hooked me up with my AIM acct, he asked if i was on instant messenger, and was shocked when i said i wasn't. lol.This was way back in 02. I haven't used my AIM in months (its all about Gchat now) but AIM revolutionized my workday. Boredom no more!

33. Demotion of Pluto - I don't know about you, but I grew up with a 9 planet solar system. in 2006 it was brutally taken away and i'll admit, i'm still reeling.

32. C cup status - TMI? Maybe. The sweet spot of boob size. Not too big (gravity makes those puppies hang loooow outside a brassiere.) and not too small. One day i woke up, and i had some nice jubblies! lol. I remember getting teased in 8th grade for being flat up top, and wishing like the dickens for something up there. Well 10 years later i got them and now its like how ya like me now?

31. my first gay proposition - We were buddies at work, she was leaving the job, but not before she telling me that If i ever wanted to experiment, that she'd be down for the cause. Oh and she was ever so serious too.

30. Enron - Escandalo! Billions of dollars lost, and with them dreams of many were crushed. My first look into corporate greed.

29. Ipod - you mean i don't have to carry CDs with me any longer?

28. Pilates - in 01, i kept reading about this "Pilates" thing (i was pronouncing it py-lates in my head. lol) it was like very much like yoga.. but it wasn't, though i found most folks who did pilates did both. I took a class and fell in love. Initially i just wanted to be able to do a split. Now im all into it. Being flexible is pretty cool.

27. Salsa - the year is 04. My girl calls me up asking if i'd like to go to this salsa class with her. I say "why not?" and we go. Talk about hooked? Five years later and im still into it, strong. It really is a lot of fun.

26. Upright Bass - Yeah, im learning to play the Bass. I love it. It had been years since i'd taken a music lesson (i play flute actually) but now im learning this big commanding beast of an instrument, and its pretty dope. Look for me to perform in your local hip music venue in five years ;-)

25. Jam Master Jay is Murdered - Its still surreal.

24. 9/11 - Our Generation's 1914. The day that everything changed.

23. Shock and Awe - Orwell spoke on this kind of euphemistic wording in his brilliant essay "Politics and the English Language"

22. Sarah Palin - wait, so that accent just wasn't for the Mom's voice on Bobby's World? People really talk like that?

21. Random a$$ celebrities - Notoriety isn't just for movie stars and musicians anymore. It could be me, but it seems the 2000s ushered in an era of being famous just for being famous. Socialites weren't just content with being rich, they also had to be in our face 24/7. There is no reason that my dad should know who Paris Hilton is. But yet, he does.

20. Mama's Gun - This album had me open for a year after its release. I was an incense burnin, flowy dress sportin, headwrap wearin, deep "sista" for a LONG time. The live instrumentation, the lyrics... and GREEN EYES. I've since toned down the bohemian vibe a little(...i recently discovered im still quite boho lol), but all it takes is a few notes from Orange Moon and im there all over again...

19. Indian Ocean Tsunami - The death toll kept rising and rising... i remember getting up in the morning, before work, and checking the news hoping that the number hadn't changed. Seeing the wreckage afterwards and being so sad, that after a while i refused to watch the news anymore. Unfortunately, the very next year...

18. Hurricane Katrina - I came down with the flu the day before Katrina hit. I laid up in bed for day, fixated on CNN, watching the destruction that followed. I was horrified, but couldn't look away. I couldn't believe this was happening on "our" soil. Whereever did i get the idea that the USA was impervious to natural disaster?

17. Sade - This woman is timeless, effortless. In the past ten years she's released ONE ALBUM. She's gone for years, comes back and she hasn't been forgotten, people want her even more. She has a cool beauty, a refinement, a cerebral sexiness that I can only hope to have. She makes me want to be 50. (i'll be patient though.) ;-)

16. Elian Gonzalez (what happened to dat boy?)

17. Wardrobe Malfunction - the busted seam heard 'round the world. You haven't lived until you have the pleasure of seeing janet jackson's nipple with your (then) 14 year old brother.

16. Victor Yushchenko - who? The former president of the Ukraine who suffered (and eventually died) from dioxin poisoning. Political Intrigue is real.

15. Terry Schiavo - :-(

14. My New Crib - Can I claim grown up status?

13. Swine Flu - Stop kissing pigs you freaks!

10. Dirty Thirty - That 30th birthday was a doosy. Now im a little more okay with being in my 30s... kinda. lol.

9. Hometown sports - BBall championship in 2001. No win. Superbowl in 2004. No win. Finally we reach the prize in 2008 in the world series.

8. Wikipedia - (finally a compendium of all things, great and small. At my finger tips even. (fact check before quoting your source though. lol)

7. Snuggie - don't front, you kinda want one too.

6. Nerds - we came into our own in the year 2G and beyond. Folks didn't realize all the sexy hiding behind the glasses. Now everybody wants to be one. NUH UH. Poseurs!

5. GOOGLE - my mother, my father, my sister, my brother, my pusher. What is the internet without google? For all intents and purposes, google IS the internet. (and can someone explain to me google wave??)

4. Three bammas and an Oscar - Or their professional name: 3-6 mafia. I still can't believe they won either. LOL.

3. Obama - "though it seems heaven sent, we ain't ready to have a black president" On a remote island in the pacific, tupac is puffing on a stogie, smiling with disbelief.

2. Michael Jackson dies - I still can't believe he's gone.

1. S-E-X is invented- Standing ovation for trey songz and his pioneering spirit! Where were you when sex was invented? Better yet, what were you doing? I can tell you what you weren't doing, you were definitely not having sex. So, what have we been doing all this time? And for that matter, how did we all get here? I don't know, but it wasn't through sex. But now that its been invented, i hope we all have plenty of it. :-)

So thats my list. I've left many things out i know. You have some? Please share. :-)

TOP 10 "SEASONAL" THEMED SONGS

This time of year we are bombarded by holiday music. Unfortunately most songs are just sentimental schmaltz. Then again, i shouldn't balk, because I'm a sentimental schmaltz. So, perhaps thats part of the allure. At any rate, if you venture out into public places, its near impossible to escape its tinsel tinged clutches. Add to this the fact that these songs have the unerring quality of getting stuck in your brain. By the end of Christmas season your senses wil have been so overwhelmed by the sound of ringing, you won't know if its sleigh bells or your tinnitus.

Anyway, here are 10 songs of the season that I enjoy and don't mind hearing (especially since I don't have a choice. lol)

1. The Christmas Song - Nat "King" Cole's version please. In my opinion, its the best. Others will do, but only Nat's silky vocals can do the supreme justice to the song (which, btw, Mel torme wrote!)

2. This Christmas - Donny Hathaway. LOVE this song and I only want to hear HIS version. The breakdown in the middle (1:59-2:16) be getting (yes BE) me open! Chris (two fists) Brown did a version and it was an abomination. Autotune and Donny do not belong together. *shudder*

3. Last Christmas - Wham. Another song where only THEIR version will do. Some teeny bopper (taylor swift?) remade it recently and when I heard it blaring through Dollar General's sound system, I almost commited hara kiri on the spot.

4. Let It Snow - Boyz II Men - I hate snow, but when this song comes on, i almost don't mind it. Almost.

5. Baby Its Cold Outside - Any version as its almost impossible to do this duet wrong. I am partial to the Vanessa Williams and Bobby Caldwell's rendition.

6. Sleigh Ride - TLC. I came of age in the 90s and thus this song holds a special charm for me. Don't judge!

7. Skating - Vince Guaraldi/Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack - a beautiful song that i wish was longer.

8. Winter Wonderland - Don't know who wrote it, but any version will do. Its just a fun song to sing.. and torment people with at karaoke! :)

9. All I want for Christmas is you - Mariah Carey (see number 6 for exposition. lol)

10. My Favorite Things - John Coltrane. Easily one of my favorite songs of any genre. Love this song.

So here they are. What do you think? What are yours? Did I miss any?

My Favorite Things - John Coltrane