I NEED AN INTERVENTION

I've become a cheese and cracker junkie.

My laying down floor in the kitchen required me to move some of the appliances away from their normal spots. Well in moving the fridge away from the wall, i discovered that i had a box of ritz on top of it. Let me clarify that. An UNopened box of ritz.Just chillin. Fresh as the day they left the nabisco plant.(ok maybe not that fresh.) Waiting to be consumed. By me. Your royal greediness. Now they hadn't been there that long(maybe a month or two) but because the box had fallen down, it was hidden from view.

Well now that i've discovered it, every day since sunday, i've been having a cracker and cheese extravaganza. In front of the TV. In front of the PC. While reading a book. I stop short at the bed, cuz i don't want crumbs on my sheets. Crunchin and munchin' like i dont know that a second on the lips is a lifetime on the hips. Like i don't know that all buttery crackery yummyness is not good for you. Like i don't gain five pounds by just looking at food. Despite all that knowledge though, i just.can't.stop. Right now, as i type, i'm indulging myself.

I know, i disgust me too.

Speaking of fatness -cuz when you're OD'ing on cheese and crackers thats where you're headed- i was told that i have kim kardashian booty.

Um...*glances at butt*...what? You're kidding right? My derriere in NO way resembles that thing she has hanging off her spine. Hers you can't miss, mine blends in with my surroundings lol.

I mean, we're both 5'3...brunettes...but thats where the similarities end.

And then, i'm not sure if that was supposed to be a compliment(the girl got junk!) or an insult(your butt looks genetically engineered - i.e. fake.) Either way, suddenly i feel the need to re-evaluate my life. And eating habits. But first let me finish these crackers.