2009

So today is the first day of Two Thousand and Nine. Can you believe it? I can't. Two thousand and nine. My tongue is forming the letters but my brain still is having trouble computing. It was a DECADE ago that everyone was running around like chickens with their heads cut off as the spectre of 2000 loomed ever nearer. Remember that? Everything had to be Y2K compliant. Even watches. I kid you not - i saw a timex that had a"y2k ready" label on the box. I think i saw it at one of those discount clothing stores my mom shops at on occasion. You know, you can find all the designers you love - for like close out prices. I like the idea of those stores, but my problem is you have to LOOK. Yeah, i'm not scrounging around on some over stuffed rack to find that one magical dress that was 1500 at saks, but because of a messed up seam, i can buy for fifty dollars. I like my clothing pretty and arranged, mannequins dressed to impressed, and the warehouse with clothing tossed hither and thither just doesn't work for me. Of course if you happen to be out shopping and run across something you'd think i'd like, then by all means...

But where was i? Ah yes. The whole Y2K brouhaha. Alarmists horded food in their basements, while chicken littles went as far as building/refurbishing fallout shelters. Fun times.

We are now ten years past that, and though our fears of exploding URLs never materialized, things did happen that did have far reaching effects on the world at large. 9/11, the war in Iraq, Michael Jackson calling Tommy Mottola devilish...

Its certainly been a time of upheaval.

But I didn't intend for this entry to go down a solemn path so i'll steer a little to the left...

I've never been a big "New Years" person. When i was a kid, it held a quaint charm because i was allowed to stay up and watch the ball drop, as dick clark narrated the waning moments of the exiting year. I could make phone calls (past midnight!) to certain of my friends(if their parents allowed) to wish them a happy new year. Those days of childish excitement are long gone. Dick Clark has been supplanted by the unctuous Ryan Seacrest, and my dreams of a New Year filled with gumdrops and bubble gum have died in the reality of bills, aging, and other sorrows to horrific to put into writing.

I know. Great way to approach a new year right? Perhaps i need to turn to the left a little more..

So do my fellow bloggers do the whole resolution thing? I'm not a big resolution maker because part of the whole resolution process is having resolve and i have none of that.

I have resolution anxiety.

So many things wrong...where to start? Ahhhhhh forget it!

I mean really. The new year approaches people get all "you have any resolutions?" Because suddenly everyone wants to discuss all their embarrassing faults in lurid itemized detail, and by asking you to elaborate on all the things that suck in your life and need fixing, its reassures them that they are not alone in their inadequacies because your life could use as much improvement as theirs. It provides a schadenfreude-ish pleasure.

So, I don't really make resolutions. Not that i don't have a plethora of things that need re-tooling (and when i say plethora i MEAN plethora) but its because i have so much to work on that i shy away from enumerating them. I really don't want to ring in the new year with a grand total of all the ways i suck. I believe that in some circles that method is labeled as "avoiding the issue(s)."

That said there are a few things i plan to work on in earnest, in the spirit of self improvement - and they are:

1. Getting Mo' Fit.

I go through fits and starts with my exercise routine, and unless i want to go the way of "The Oprah" (yes she gets a definite article now) i better get with the program and stick to it.

2. Get Organized.

You ever miss a day of school when they were teaching you something that would serve as a foundation for the rest of that course? In Spanish 1 i missed the day we learned how to tell time. A small detail (so it seemed) but apparently spanish speaking peoples like telling the time as much as english speaking peoples. (I know i check my watch fiftly lemn times a day.) That day of absence still haunts me because i still struggle with telling the time in Spanish. Not that i need to, but dangit i should be able to. cuarto...menos... How is it I can say and read relatively complex sentences(for ex: hi how are you?), but can't say the time of day? What part of the game...? Well in that same manner, i think i missed the part of life where you learn how to be organized. In my early twenties life was handled in a slapdash devil-may-care fashion. It was shameful. I've since grown way better, but old habits die hard.

3. Appreciate the Moment.

A friend and I were discussing this and we came to the conclusion that we don't do this enough. But i don't mean Epicurean way of enjoying the moment. I don't want the morbid to be a motivating factor in my enjoying what i'm doing when i'm doing it. Its just too many times i've been doing something, and instead of appreciating it - i was ruing the fact that soon whatever it was that i was doing would be done. Sad. For example - the day i turned 21 i near had a nervous breakdown. I was freaked because i was an official official adult. 21. I was old ( or at least i thought) and instead of appreciating the fact i was 21 i kept mourning the fact that i wasn't 20. And now...i'd give my eyeteeth to be 21 again. But since i'm not, i'm going to enjoy the fact that i'm...well you don't need to know that. And, that was a terrible example, but you follow the general idea. I hope.

4. Getting this blog to suck...less.

This blog has been at ebb tide for a while now, and for the life of me i cannot figure out why. My knack for prattle - the concrete slab this blog is built upon - has failed me. Is it possible that the minutiae has become so minute that its rendered nil? Perhaps i just have a bad case of block. I don't know. Whatever it is, i want it to get fixed stat. This joint is bleak.

All said and done though? I'm generally optimistic for 2009. I'm going to work on making me the best me i can be. I figure if i do that...all the rest will fall into place. I wish all of you happiness, good times and the ability to weather whatever storms come your way. *Treacle alert*

Happy new year!

Amel Larrieux - Infinite Possibilities