I AM A DISGRACE

I should have at least gotten a junior high school.

i mean really. I used transmogrified two entries ago! This is an outrage.

Somebody take this test, score low, and make me know that i am not alone.

CHERCHEZ LA FEMME

I've been a bad, bad girl
I've been careless with a delicate man
And it's a sad, sad world
When a girl will break a boy just because she can

Don't you tell me to deny it
I've done wrong and I want to suffer for my sins
I've come to you 'cause I need guidance to be true
And I just don't know where I can begin

What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love

Heaven help me for the way I am
Save me from these evil deeds before I get them done
I know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand
But I keep living this day like the next will never come

Oh help me but don't tell me to deny it
I've got to cleanse myself of all these lies 'till I'm good enough for him
I've got a lot to lose and I'm bettin' high so I'm begging you
Before it ends just tell me where to begin

What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love

Let me know the way
Before there's hell to pay
Give me room to lay the law and let me go
I've got to make a play
To make my lover stay
So what would an angel say the devil wants to know

What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of looooooooooooooooooooooooooove
Yeah yeah yeah uhh uhh uhhhhhh...

Hey hey hey haaayyyyyyyyyyyyy yeahhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhh hiyee ehhh...

HOW MUCH DO YOU CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT?

Or: Why the internets rock my world.

Surfing is always a source of boundless joy. You never know what you're going to come across. Sometimes its 2G1C, - which i've never seen and never will - and sometimes its this:

This, my friends, is a composting toilet. Yes, the homegrown fertilizer ordinarily composed of raked leaves and yard clippings can now be made with human waste. Ingenious right? Tell me this is not the hotness. That new new. My guests will be thrilled. When they ask to use the restroom i'll flash my enigmatic mona lisa smile, guide them to a human sized litter box, complete with trays resembling those found in an apiary. As you(my guest) ease nature, you can rejoice that that you're defecating and urinating over your host's(me!) own rotting excrement.

Sexy huh?

The concept, while bizarre, and a bit(ok a LOT) gross, seems at least worth consideration. Especially if you're hardcore into going green.(So that means one of yall treehuggers should buy it, and get back to me)

Imagine, taking a poo, letting the microbes do their thing, and then growing tomatoes with your own transmogrified fecal matter!

And when folks exclaim over the the tastyness of your home grown fruits and veggies, asking: "what's your secret?!"

You can look into the camera and say:

"I'll never telllllll..."

DIA DE LOS MUERTOS

The first lucid thought i had upon awakening this morning?

"I'm glad i don't shave."

I had one of the worst nights of my life last night, sleep wise. I rocked out about quarter to twelve, and woke up about an hour/ hour and a half later, completely awake, but not refreshed. You know when you wake up but you feel all trembly and disoriented and stuff? That was me. It was a bizarre amalgam of restlessness and lethargy. Neither of them gave way to the other, so i sat up bleary eyed, and watching the clock tick tock its way through the night.

I finally dozed off again, around 5 but by then it was just about time to get up to begin another day.

A day that thankfully didn't begin with the act of shaving. That would require too much thought and effort, and don't need blades around me when i'm in such vulnerable state. That kind of concentration would largely be at odds with the stupor that began this morning, and yea, has extended until this very moment. Of course my underarms are teetering dangerously close to granola but a shirt with long sleeves solves that problem. If you're a guy you gotta shave, unless you're trying to go mountain man, or you're a dude sporting that K.M.D.

I'm so tired yo. lol. I probably shouldn't even be blogging. Given my extreme ketosis(oh the drama), i reckon i won't make much sense.

...forgive me if it goes astray ©

Sidenote: Don't you love it when people come over to you like:

"are you tired?" "you look tired."

Folks always trying to be the barometer of someones energy level.

do you really think i didn't notice the steamer trunks underneath my OWN eyes?? Haters.

Two people said this to me today, with mock empathy. What they were really thinking was "hoe, you busted!" Its ok though. I appraised myself in the mirror and knew that i was rocking that "death destroyer of worlds" look. I comforted myself with the thought that if there was to be a crowning of miss netherworld today, i'd surely win!

:/

Anyway i was wondering today - during the coherent moments that peppered my catatonia - like...how long am i going to be on "the web". Will i still be blogging at 45? Will my myspace, facebook (or whatever is the new new)still be poppin? Can you outgrow the the internets? I think its permanent. Like my parents generation with telephones. My great great grandmother thought they were unnecessary and newfangled, and until the day she died, when she needed to use the phone she'd walk to her next door neighbors house, and make an awkward phone call. (Believe it or not placing a call requires a certain finesse.) However my mom's generation grew up with phones and can't imagine life without them.

Speaking of aversions, my mom is the same way with email that my great great grandmom was with phones. I've set her up with THREE personal email accts that she refuses to use. And because of their disuse they are either deactivated, or she forgets her login or password. And when she needs email, she tells folks to send it to my address. SMH.

Anyway, i think thats what the internet is gonna be too. An expected medium of communication. I'll probably never "log off." :/ Whatchall think? Yalls aim screennames gonna be rappingranny4u2nv and poppopfrumuptheblock1979?