AYO FAT GIRL C'MERE ARE YOU TICKLISH?

Who you callin fat? And i am ticklish so keep your grisly hands away from me, thanks.

*sigh*

Must it always be thus?

So its going down like this. After evading the issue for a couple of weeks i got on the scale. Why did i decide to do that? Stupidity yall. According to good people over at health-o-meter, i've gained five pounds. I KNEW it. Over the past few days, i'd been feeling rather portly, and today, the scale confirmed that what i was feeling is real and not just in my mind.

Oh bother.

See this is what happens when you get content. If you've been following this blog at all(and i don't blame you if you haven't) you know that just a few months ago i was all elated and self satisfied with a 12lb weight loss. Str8 up olsen twinning. Mhmm couldn't tell me nothing. Well apparently somebody needed to tell me something because i'm one donut away from looking like Diane Amos. Tragic i tell you. And to get this disturbing news right at the onset of summer! Happy summer solstice by the way.

I'm feeling some type of way yall. The thing is, i know wut dun it too. Those darn rolls. At my sisters reception there were thee most delicious rolls. They're better than any dinner roll you've ever tasted. I guarantee it. In fact they were so delicious that when everybody went home i procured the leftovers for myself and proceeded to eat them one by one - sometimes two by two - until they were gone. All that delicious yeasty bready goodness, in my my mouth, down my throat, in my stomach...and now on my hips. And chin. Not saying anything is wrong with the triple chin look(aretha wears hers well), but it just ain't for me. I'm so sick © Ne-yo. I'm supposed to be rocking bikinis, but now it looks like i'll be making my foray into the world of potato sack couture. Sad. I can't even talk about this anymore, im getting emo.

Tomorrow i'm totally back on my hard core dieting and exercising though. Mhmm. Yup.

In other news did some gardening today. This is huge for me. All of my greatest fears can be summed up in one word: "bugs." And outside, in the soil, lurk thousands of unidentifiable creepy crawlies. But i conquered - or mitigated i should say, they are FAR from conquered - my fears, and braved the great outdoors despite this fact. I didn't even freak out when an unearthed rock revealed a colony of isopods or - as the kids call them - potato bugs. Of course, my bravery had much to do with being dressed for the occasion. My gear consisted of -and please try to picture - this:

1.Tightly tied head scarf(covering my ears to prevent bugs from flying in and making a home)
2. Light blue button down shirt complete with bleach stain(buttoned up to one of my chins and cuffs also buttoned)
3. Black leggings
4. Knee high sweat socks a la lew alcindor 1967(btw the leggings were tucked into said sweat socks)
5.My broke down chucks(i've mentioned them before)

I basically looked like a half-wit super hero. I was just lacking the cape. But, other than looking like a total fool in my landscaperess get up i think it went rather well. Not to say that i've never had my hands in the dirt before, planting and sowing, because I have. But this is the first time that i was all up in it. Nitty gritty and all that good stuff. It was therapeutic. I felt at one with nature and the universe and all that BS Deepak Chopra be talking about.*

I only have one complaint though. Why is my backyard the freaking wild kingdom? Seriously they could film all of animal planet in the rear of my house and have plenty of copy, with footage to spare. Its getting ridiculous now. In addition to the squirrels and raccoons, there appears to be what looks like ...groundhogs? Woodchucks? are they the same? Whatever they are, they're gross. Oh yeah, i can't forget the opossums. Technically i haven't seen one in my yard yet, but i did see one dead in the middle of the street, presumably run over by a car. It was gruesome and sad. But if i see one in the street, that means they've infiltrated the neighborhood, and thereby, are in my yard. So basically my garden is well on its way to being showcased on PBS nature. Fortunately, the animals make themselves scarce when i'm outside, but when i'm in the kitchen doing dishes and looking out the window? its like a big furry party. And i'm not even invited! Rude.

*For the record, i do not think that Deepak Chopra talks BS. In fact, i really do not know much of what he does talk about. Everything i know about him is from the media...and the book "natural cures they don't want you to know about", which, by the way, is a great read. I strongly suggest it. Oh yeah there was the one time DC was on Charlie rose. I was gonna watch, but changed the channel as the hills was coming on.