DON'T YOU HATE IT WHEN:

Your new issue of Nat'l Geographic comes in the mail and its cover picture is some sort of insect? And not just an insect, an insect thats been magnified many, many times, so you get to see all its little hairs and antennae and compound eyes. Gross.

For me that is the worst. I really really look forward to my delivery every month, and when i take my magazine out its brown cover and see that kind of crap my day is ruined. If we were meant to see bugs all up close and personal we'd be born with two electron microscopes instead of eyes. And the thing is, the issue could have some really good articles, but i can't get past the cover. Not that I read National Geographic anyway. Its all about the pictures man.

Its like the one time i was browsing the plants and animal volume in the child craft series(yall remember them? My parents bought the deluxe set for me and the sibs) and my eyes fell on a page where there were some kind of caterpillars on a leaf. They were black and white striped and there must have been about 300 of them on that one leaf. It was utterly creepy. Disgustingly, skin crawling creepy. I recoiled in horror, threw the book down, and have not picked up the book since. No, really - its still on the living room floor in my parent's house. I left it there for posterity. One day i'll show it to my kids and be like:

"babies, this is the very place where mommy realized she'd never be an entomologist."

Oh and by the way...i was 9 at the time. You see how long the scarring stays with me. My psychosisisises run deep. Uh huh. Fer sure.

Enough with the preamble.

So its been brought to my attention by someone whose opinion i pretend to value that my posts have been quite self centered as of late. You know - with all the whining about hair, aging, weight, aging, bugs, aging...and other things that fall under the category of "hate". I say bogus. I mean i am me so who else could my posts be centered on? Initially i started blogging because i needed a receptacle for the flotsam of my mind(plus everyone else was doing it)...cuz honestly no one was really trying to hear all of this crap. I was all who can i run to?©

So i picked up my pad(moleskine) and my pen(cross) - btw i don't care whatchall think the Love Movement was a dope album - and began jotting down all that should not be uttered, for fear of reprisal. But now its like, maybe i should refocus my topics? But who or what would I write about? My friends/fam are out. I mean i may place a tidbit here or there but really, i don't feel too comfortable about putting folks' biz out in the URLs. You never know who might be reading.

I could write about celebs, because their antics are community fodder. But there are so many celeb/gossip sites out there that do that and are way more funny than i could ever hope to be. My meanderings are mildly amusing to some, but thats because i'm talking about myself. My disparagement is your entertainment. And that's ok. I'm completely fine with laughing at myself. But talking about other people? Even though they'd be celebs, i'd probably just come off catty rather than witty. Not a good look. Not to mention i don't need anybody coming up in my blog taking me to task for hating on some "star's" outfit or face. For the record, saying "she/he's got more money/hoes than you" does not phase me. They still ugly.

And then there is always the politics/current events angle. While i am a news junkie(surely i'm not the only one who enjoys deustche welle?), i really don't feel qualified to regurge today's hot topics to anyone who might reading. Journalism is not my strong suit. I mean i can ape a pompous institutional moderne, but i lack the true skill required for overusing and abusing latinate words. Plus, i may watch the news - but i don't understand it. Can someone explain why gas is 4.15 a gallon again?

So we're back to me and my so-called life. Its all i got folks. Honestly i don't mean to come off as self absorbed because i'm not. In all actuality i don't take myself that seriously. I mean i do, but you know - not really.

Man forget it. This blog has been and will continue to be a repository for all of my mental odds and ends. Not that i was going to change it anyway. I was only giving an unsolicited opinion its due consideration.

Now lets talk about the discovery of a vein on my forehead that appears when i laugh...