AVOIDING BED LIKE A MOTHERFATHER

Remember when you were a child and you were told to go to bed by your parents, how you'd find everything under the sun to do to prolong the bedtime process? There would be drinks of water, which led to a few trips to the bathroom, a few more kisses and hugs(mom could never resist) and sometimes i even employed the "i forgot to finish this one assignment!" gambit. My parents would scold but, they'd let me stay up - the important thing. That mutated into "i have to stay up late to watch the news!" maneuver of my preteen years. This added information provided exposition on not just why(assignment) but what(news).

My lies truth(iness) served a purpose, as the parentals thought a 10 o'clock bedtime was perfectly acceptable for a 12 yr old. Can you imagine? Of course they were wrong. I couldn't tell them that because well, i value my extremities. In order to circumvent the delicate issue of their flawed logic i'd concoct elaborate schemes. I actually did have to keep abreast of the news - every morning was current events and my teacher would embarrass me if i was lacking - but i had done that earlier in the evening. Nevertheless, i'd absentmindedly watch it again at 11, but when it went off @ 11:30 i'd get as quiet as a mouse. What i really wanted to do was watch Arseniooooooo Hall. He had all the fab guests, and seeing who appeared on his show was just as important as anything happening in the world at large. I refused to be the only one at the lunch table who hadn't seen whatever cutting edge artist was on his show the previous night. Or learning who the "people sitting over *there*" were. I remember once sitting in the kitchen(family room was too risky), talking on the phone with my homegirl D(also sneaking lol), and just thrilling over the fact that JODECI was on. She wanted dalvin, i took devante(it was the eyes) and we were content with our equitable agreement. Eyes dilated, we came of age as their gyrations sent sparks through our coaxial cables. All was going well until i turned around and saw my dad's looming figure in the doorway.

*draws curtain of charity over scene*

Well the years have gone by, i'm older, and (allegedly) wiser. I don't have ma and pa around telling me when to go to bed, but i really could use their stern reprimands right now. You see, I'm being a bit of a rebel. Its 11:45 and i should have been in bed 45 mins ago. I've been making a concerted effort of getting more sleep @ night, (i've been looking rough lately and i figure its due to lack of zzzzz's)but i can feel it in my bones that tonight is one big FAIL. I'm finding everything but sleep to do. I just finished NOT eating a pumpkin spice muffin. (applaud me. shouldn't have bought it in the first place but i wanted a treat for my bfast tomorrow)I just finished ordering some shoes. I just finished on-demand-ing scooby doo. I just finished painting my toes and making my feet look all pretty. I'm not going to wear sandals tomorrow so it was sort of pointless, but sleepytime evasion comes @ a cost. Actually now, i'm getting kind of tired, so i guess it was a good thing that i wrote this blog. Its an electronic lullaby. Mmm. Bed sounds good now.

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Crap! I can't go to bed though because my toes haven't fully dried. I'll give them another half. Maybe the night can still be salvaged. Who am i kidding. I'm totally going to regret this tomorrow.