MOODY MEN

Stop it.

I'm not sure if something is in the air, water, doritos, or that axe yall be wearing...but just about every man with whom i'm acquainted is going through some kind annoying mood swing. What's up with that? I would call it PMS but i don't want to sully PMS' good name with this nonsense.

Whats really irritating is that whatever the reason for their vicissitudes - i have nothing to do with it. (Ask about me, im a sweetheart *wink*) Even i do - and i maintain that i don't - but if that is the case, then tell me. Don't be all 'tudey with me. Beating around the bush isn't going to get either of us anywhere.

...Unless the goal is some abused shrubbery and hard packed earth.

Por ejemplo, here's an excerpt from an AIM convo

Me: ...yo when we gonna hit up star wars?
STUPIDMOODYBOOBHEADBOY08: ?
Me: um, me. you. a light saber or two. lol
STUPIDMOODYBOOBHEADBOY08: *shrug*
ME: lol wtf
ME: whts yr problem?
STUPIDMOODYBOOBHEADBOY08: nada
ME: ok. HOLLA.
ME signed off at 2:32 PM

Yes, i got a little huffy, but i'm a woman and i can do that. Seriously, I couldn't be bothered trying to decode him. Everyone who knows me relatively well knows that im crazy empathetic and always willing to be a listening ear when you got a case of the woes. But if you give off a nasty vibe, its whatever. Besides, if you aren't my man im not going to beg you to tell me whats wrong, if indeed something is wrong. Im too much of a hater for all that. Later on this evening i got a text talking bout:

HIM: What about next week?
ME: next week what?
HIM: star wars
ME: ...
ME: yr kidding right?
HIM: ooh you so sensitive

lol wtf. Now i'm the one being sensitive? PUH and SHAW. Way to deflect you bum. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Im guessing whatever it was that was annoying him was over and he could be back to his usual self. Its almost amusing, but it isn't. If this particular male had been the only offender, then i could let it go. But lately it seems like my entire cadre of male friends is going through something, and its wearing on my patience. I mean, i expect my girls to go through stuff on occasion, but DUDES? Come on yall. If anyone is going to have a head scratching, utterly confusing, completely exasperating, unexplained mood change in our interactions, its going to be me. Last thing this world needs is an army of men who could benefit from the soothing effects of midol. Or quaaludes.

Another example:

I went past my brother's crib Sunday to pick up something, rang his bell in his lobby - no answer. So i call him - he doesn't pick up the phone. I leave a message stating something to the effect that i'm downstairs and if you're home answer the door. I wait a second. No answer, so i go back to the car. I'm about to pull off, when he i see him running across the street...T-U-D-E written all over his face.

Here we go.

He's shrugging his shoulders in annoyance, palms raised heavenward, face twisted in irritation. I head his smart mouth(a familial trait) off at the pass, and tell him what i came for, reassuring him that i did not come by to just shoot the breeze so he can just relax. His face untwists and he runs back to his house to get the stuff(some books).

Now mind you, i haven't seen my brother since January. Which is a shame because we live in the same city and really have no excuse. lol Our lives are wildly divergent though(he's hip and cool and im not). But thats neither here nor there. The thing is, why the the attitude? If you didn't want to be bothered then why come running to the car? If you're ignoring visitors ignore them all the way. Id have assumed he wasn't home and moved on(he prolly had a girl over). Instead he had to make this big production and acted like i had knocked over his jenga tower(didn't that suck? im a jenga champ by the way).When he comes back to the car he makes some attempts @ small talk, but at this point im thru.

And then my married friend is not speaking to me because i didn't make it to his house for a get together last month. What in blue blazes?? Are you kidding me right now? I'm so annoyed with him i don't know what to do. My sister swears its because he's still in love with me.

...but thats another story for another day.

Anyway.

Its really irksome because when i'm feeling funky i do my best to remain on an even keel with everyone. Just because im bothered doesn't mean you have to be. I kind of expect the same courtesy. Especially from the fellas.

Was there a mandate issued that required all men to become life sized versions of David Van Driessen? Is this emo behavior gonna be de rigueur now? I mean we got lil wayne kissin his best boy on the lips and terrence howard sporting purses.

Somebody give me the craig david special cuz i am FED up.